Anyone miss my 3L3W specials:P? Actually I wanted to stop translating as I am getting bored with it. I think my readers are also feeling likewise. However, Lidge was reading The Pillow Book and we had some very interesing and funny discussions on it. This reignites my love flame so here is another instalment to tide you over till hamster comes back from her holi:) FYI, the last one is written by me, heehee….
The male leads are going to war.
Ye Hua: “Qian Qian, I am going away to take care of some matters, please style my hair for me.”
Qian Qian (while combing the hair, warn repeatedly): “You must always be careful and do not hide everything from me. Why don’t I also go with you? You always endure and suffer everything in silent, this is not the first time … (feeling a bit down) … Also, you must come back earlier.”
Ye Hua (grab the hand that is tying his hair): “Oh, Qian Qian, your hair styling skill has always been so good. (pause) I am going, you and A Li wait for me to come back.”
Dong Hua: “Xiao Bai, please give me back my Cang He sword.”
Feng Jiu (hurriedly go away and come back): “Dijun, you want to go out to fight?” (Wipe off the walnut dregs from the sword with her sleeve)
Dong Hua: “What did you do with my sword?”
Feng Jiu: “Just now when I was making walnut cake for you, the walnuts are too hard, so I borrowed your sword to split them. I did not expect it to be so sharp until the walnuts become walnut powder.”
Dong Hua: “…”
Dong Hua is ready to go out. Feng Jiu followed silently until to the doorstep of Tai Chen Palace.
Dong Hua: “Xiao Bai, what is the matter?”
Feng Jiu: “Oh, I know you fight very well but do take care when you are fighting …”
Donghua: “I will be careful.”
Feng Jiu: “After you leave, I am going back to Qingqiu. When you are fighting, do pay attention to your clothes, don’t dirty it. If I am not home when you come back, nobody is here to do your laundry.”
Dong Hua: “…”
When Dijun has just disappeared around the corner, Feng Jiu quickly turned into a scarlet fox and quietly followed him, thinking “fighting is such a rowdy event, I must go to take a look.”
Lian Song: “Cheng Yu, I am going away.”
Cheng Yu (biting melon seeds): “Oh, please remember to lock the door.”
Lian Song: “…”
Lian Song: “Hey, I am going to war.”
Cheng Yu (put down the melon seeds, go to Lian Song, naively): “Then, what do you want?”
Lian Song (thinking): “Generally speaking, when the husband goes to war, the wife will give him a kiss, expressing concern and reluctant to part.”
Cheng Yu: “……” (about to say something but remain silent) On tiptoe she kissed Lian Song.
Lian Song: “…… I am going.”
Recently Feng Jiu feels some growing pains and worries, goes to seek advice from close friends and relatives.
Ye Hua: “I am so busy, do you think I have time to worry?”
Bai Qian: “I? I always let others worry, I don’t worry too much.”
Cheng Yu: “Oh, are you talking about menstrual pain? How come your menstrual only start now, so late ah?”
Dong Hua: “… Growing? You are growing up? Where? Chest? I do not think so.”
Dijun, you win.
Every time when Feng Jiu comes back from Xi Wu Palace, she will feel unhappy, uncle treats aunt extremely well. This time she just got back from having a meal in Xi Wu Palace, cannot help but think of her own life in Tai Chen Palace and sigh.
Bai Qian: “Feng Jiu, how are you, why are you sighing?
Feng Jiu: “Aunt, why uncle treats you so well, also so good at cooking?”
Bai Qian (blush): “Because when we first met, I can’t cook so Ye Hua cooked for me to eat, especially when I was pregnant with little dough, Ye Hua’s cooking skill has improved a lot.”
Feng Jiu (comprehend): “I know ……”
Feng Jiu: “Dijun, I am not feeling well, from today onwards I do not cook, or …”
Dijun: “Oh, then we do not eat until you recover.”
Feng Jiu: “…”
Feng Jiu: “Dijun, we have something to discuss.”
Dijun (holding Buddhist scriptures): “What?”
Feng Jiu: “We will take turn to cook alternate day.”
Dijun (turning the page): “Good.”
Feng Jiu is feeling excited and happy. On the first day, Feng Jiu cooked a table of food.
The next day, Dijun asked Feng Jiu: “What do you like to eat?”
Feng Jiu (staring): “Dijun, you are really cooking for me personally!”
Feng Jiu (shy): “Simply cook anything also good, since I like to eat everything.”
Dijun: “What about sweet and sour fish, I can cook this best.”
Feng Jiu (petrify): “…”
Dijun (chuckle): “You do not like, ah, then what do you suggest we eat?”
Feng Jiu (tangled): “Roasted yams.”
On the third day and the fourth day … on N days also Feng Jiu is cooking …
At the same time, Cheng Yu came back from Xi Wu Palace, with Lian Song mentioned “His Royal Highness the Prince looks good and cooking also very delicious”, since then 3rd Royal Highness begins training hard on cooking …
Bai Qian and Ye Hua, will always inadvertently cause the other two pairs a small storm. This is the disadvantage of being their relatives ah …
A cooking contest is being held in Jiuchongtian (Heaven).
Bai Qian: “Ye Hua, you will definitely win.”
Ye Hua: “I have such good cooking skill today, you deserve most of the credits, Qian Qian.”
Lian Song: “Quickly, taste this, I cooked one …”
Cheng Yu (use chopsticks to pick up a piece of simmer fried meat to observe and smell): “How long have you practiced?”
Lian Song (open his fan): “Seven days just on this dish, no doubt I’ll win!”
Cheng Yu (take a bite, the face turns unsightly, swallow and smile): “Yah, first place from the back, no doubt you’ll win.”
Feng Jiu (looking sympathetically at the fish in Dong Hua’s hand): “Dijun …… ”
Dong Hua: “Hmm?”
Feng Jiu: “I sympathize with the fish.”
Dong Hua: “Since you said so, I also sympathize with it.”
Feng Jiu: “Dijun are you going to let it go?”
Dong Hua (shaking his head): “No, I just sympathize with the fish because it will be eaten by a dummy like you.”
One day, Bai Qian and Feng Jiu have a disagreement while discussing who has got the best cooking skill. Bai Qian said her husband has got the best cooking skill in the whole universe, nobody can beat him. Feng Jiu is also confident in her cooking skill, believing she is invincible in the whole universe. Since they can’t reach an agreement, they finally decided to have Ye Hua compete with Feng Jiu to see who is the best. The referees will be Bai Qian and Dijun.
The weather on the day of the competition is fine and sunny. The two referees who are sitting together look a little stiff.
Bai Qian (cautious): “Dong Hua, uh, Dijun, it seems for such a long time since we met, I did not have a decent conversation with you.”
Dijun (calm): “You are just being modest, hundreds of years ago in the mortal world, didn’t you had a good time changing my fate?”
Bai Qian: “…”
Ye Hua who is in the midst of cooking, heard this and chuckled. While Feng Jiu is trembling in fear and looking at Dijun, absent mindedly treated the soy sauce as vinegar and salt as sugar. Thus, not surprisingly Feng Jiu lost the competition.
Feng Jiu feeling dejected, returned to Tai Chen Palace with little dough in tow. He is also crestfallen, blaming and complaining: “Why don’t you defeat my daddy, aren’t you good at cooking!”
Feng Jiu (puzzled): “I’ve lost, not you so why are you so angry? ”
Little dough angrily confessed: “Father lord said, if you win, I can sleep with mummy tonight! Cousin Feng Jiu, you are so useless, I do not know you anymore.” Then he walked away.
When she is back inside the palace, Feng Jiu remembered her bet with Dijun. If Feng Jiu win, Dijun will be at Feng Jiu disposal without any complain. However, Feng Jiu who has lost will surely be punished badly, over and over again by Dijun tonight, lamenting her sad fate ah.
Feng Jiu (eagerly): “Aunt, I am participating in Jiuchongtian’s cooking contest, can you be on my cheerleading team since you are so wise, other small deities will also support me.”
Bai Qian (reading a novel): “Oh?”
Phoenix 9 (eagerly): “Yes, every night whenever I’ve the time, I’ll practice new dishes.”
Bai Qian (raise her head): “You’ve time at night? Dijun will let you off?
Feng Jiu (blush): “…..”
Cheng Yu: “Your Highness Feng Jiu, in fact, you do not need to be so nervous, you can go and ask Dijun to be a judge, don’t need to worry.”
Bai Qian (continue reading novel): “Actually, I am already on Ye Hua’s cheering team.”
Feng Jiu: “…..”
What Cheng Yu doesn’t know is that as long as Dijun is a judge, Feng Jiu will definitely be nervous until she’ll make a mistake.
Bai Qian: “Ye Hua, I just saw Feng Jiu’s diving competition.”
Ye Hua: “Oh? What is the result?”
Bai Qian: “Gold medal, very good.”
Cheng Yu: “Feng Jiu actually got the gold medal! Simply too unbelievable … ”
Lian Song (put away the folding fan): “This is something I’ve expected.”
Cheng Yu (turn around to look at Lian Song): “Rogue, how do you know?”
Lian Song: “Dong Hua has been encouraging her. She annoyed Ji-heng as well as all the other women until they withdrew, she is the only one left, if she didn’t get the gold medal, who’ll get it?”
Cheng Yu: “…” (Dijun, your encouragement is very useful ~)
Ji Heng: “Teacher, why do you suppport Princess Nine Songs but do not cheer for me? We have a marraige contract before!”
Dong Hua: “Oh, because she cooks for me.”
Little dough: “Sister Feng Jiu, you are brilliant, quickly share with me how you’ve beaten all of them?”
Feng Jiu: “Oh, I do not deserve it, I just borrowed Dijun’s face.”
What is my favourite book?
Ye Hua: “Memorial, I don’t have a choice.”
Bai Qian: “Novel, recently lacking good novel so I have to go to Siming to borrow a few books of fate to have a read.”
Little dough: “Mummy and father lord, mortal children are reading fairy tale books, I also want to read them.”
Dong Hua: “Buddhist scriptures, are you blind? Can’t you see I am reading them now?”
Feng Jiu: “Recipes. It seems eating without needing to pay is also a kind of happiness. In order to make Dong Hua happy, I am willing to be a chef.” (Heehee, borrow this line from The Pillow Book)
Lian Song: “Women is like a book. In my heart, Cheng Yu is the best looking book.”
Cheng Yu: “Erotic pictures, especially man with man one.”
Xiao Yan: “I, grandpa has never read a book.”
Bai Qian: “You are my house husband. Ye Hua, little dough and I are hungry, quickly go to cook.”
Ye Hua: “You are my wife. Wifey, I am going to cook now.”
Lian Song: “You are the mother of my child.”
Cheng Yu: “You are mine … so you are not allowed to womanize.”
Feng Jiu: “You are my everything. Dijun, I am giving myself to you so you have to cherish me well.”
Dong Hua: “You are my Xiao Bai, unique and irreplaceable.”
PS: Actually Dijun wanted to reply: “You are my pet, change into a fox to let me play play.” After hearing Xiao Bai’s confession, he changed his answer:P
Tagline to prove that you are the characters in Three Lives Three Worlds.
Ye Hua: “Qian Qian, come here.”
Bai Qian: “Send night shining pearl as a gift.”
Little dough: “I want to sleep with mummy tonight.”
Lijing: “I’m really not short sleeves!”
Dong Hua: “Xiao Bai, come and eat your sweet and sour fish.”
Feng Jiu: “Dijun, really taste too awful to eat.”
Lian Song: “Umm, I forgot my fan.”
Cheng Yue: “Rogue.”
Ji Heng: “Teacher.”
Yan Chi Wu: “You ice face of a bear! Your grandpa is waiting.”