Fangirling Chinese Novels

Falling Leaves Without Trace (叶落无痕) Radio Drama with English Subtitles (Part 2)


Did you enjoy Part 1 of the radio drama? Part 2 is really time-consuming to translate because it is long, depressing and I have to translate a poem at the end:( I need a week to recover from all these sadness. Phong, you owe me a big one:P Do you have problem accessing tudou because I think some readers just read my subtitles without listening to the radio drama which is a lot less interesting. By the way, anyone know the name of that sad song at around 6.30 min?

Some may feel the female lead is too pathetic yet I do admire the way she can love the male lead so blindly and deeply. After listening to Part 1, I feel the male lead is so cold and calculating. But I start to warm up to him in Part 2 with his steadfastness and devotion. He just doesn’t know how to love until it is too late, so sad. I know the story is rather cliché and is as old as time but it is still relevant and relatable. Life is transient so appreciate and cherish your loved ones before it is too late !!!

I like the theme song of this radio drama very much. Some of you might have heard of it before but you know I am such a frog under the well, lol. It is called If I Become a Memory. You can find the English translated lyrics here. Wallace and his drama Too Late To Say I Love You have nothing to do with this radio drama except I like the fan-made MV song as well as Wallace. It is too late for Xiao Hun in the radio drama to say I love you to Si Ying:(

Part 2 (translated by peanuts)

11081100237901 OR

“Are you crying?”
“Ha, how is it possible that I will cry?”
“Do you know who am I?”
“I know you are Mr Cheng’s daughter.”
“I also know you. I like you very much! ”
“Xiao, do you still remember? That day, did you break up with your loved one?”

Falling Leaves Without Trace Part 2 by Jian An radio drama.

0.42: “Did you quarrel with Xiao Bei? You have not reconciled with her yet”
“Pregnant woman is unreasonable. I will continue to ignore her!”
“I am surprised a foolish and ignorant woman like you, actually have this kind of friend.”
“Yes ah, I am good at nothing but has good foresight. Other people search for a lifetime and do not necessarily get the things they want but I have them all.”
“Xiao Hun!”
“Luo Qing!”
“Let’s dance!”
“Big brother’s wife!”
“Mr Du, how are you? Last time I was really lacking in manner!”
“Oh! Nothing! Can I ask you for a dance?”
“Big brother’s wife, do you know about their past?”
“Big brother’s wife, they used to be in love but now they are just playing for fun. They are both the same type of person. Regarding the things they gave up, they can easily say goodbye. Big brother’s wife, Xiao is actually a good man. No matter whether he loves you or not, he considers you as a part of his life and will never think of abandoning you.”
“I know!”
“Big brother’s wife,  I will tell you something but please do not take offense!”
“Please say.”
“Xiao and I have wooed Luo Qing before but I failed. Thus, I went to study abroad because at that time I was really sad. If it is another man, I can say that Luo Qing made a blind choice and found an idiot as a boyfriend. But she happened to have chosen Xiao so I graciously admitted defeat. Don’t laugh, I know that women and men do not think the same. Man is like this, no matter what there must be one who wins or loses and one who is strong or weak. Do you know, all along Luo Qing takes the initiative to keep in touch with me? She has always put my name on her list of suitors because even though I am not as good as Xiao, I am still a pretty good potential stock. This is her thoughts. Perhaps this is her thoughts of all men. Luo Qing is the kind of woman who even though she is playing with you, it will also make you feel honored. Okay, swap dancing partners!”
“What did both of you talk about?”
“We did not talk much. Mr. Du said you would not abandon me!”
“Oh! Du has a big mouth. Whatever that is troubling him, he will want to say them out in order to feel satisfied!”
“However, he really knows you well!”
“Well, we are university mates for four years ……”

Whatever he said thereafter, i did not hear. I started to lose my hearing for a short duration. Fortunately I have been relying on his body so when I fainted, he got hold of me. I could not hear what he was saying. It was when I closed my eyes that I softly called out a name. Xiao Bei!

4.03: “Xiao Bei, how come you are here? Where is Xiao?”
“I am here to pick you up. Let’s go!”
“Pick me up? Why? Where is Xiao?”
“He left. He did not say anything and went out, coward!”
“You told him everything?”
“This time you were in a coma for a whole day. How much longer can I conceal the truth? Let’s go. Follow me and go.”
“I am not going. Even if I die, I also want to die at home.”
“At home? I think you want to die at his side! Look, is he at your side? He called me to come over but when he saw me, he did not say a word. Well, he is gone now. He did not even come in to see you. Si Ying, be good and let’s go.”
“Si Ying, you have lost weight!”
“Xiao Bei, I am not going. I am not going.”
“Si Ying, you…..”
“Xiao Bei, I am reluctant to go! Sob sob……You see, Xiao Bei, I cannot go with you as you’re pregnant! You will be my mother in the future! Sob……”
“Get lost, get lost, all of you get lost.”
“Xiao Bei. Mr Xiao, when you marry your wife, you are supposed to love and cherish her, no matter why you married her! After marrying her, she becomes a part of your coexistence. You snubbed her so the one who has lost her bearing is yourself. Mr. Xiao, Si Ying does not have much time left. We hope you will repay whatever you owe her!”
“Si Ying…….!!!!!”
In my life I will never forget, Xiao hugged me tightly and cried very loudly and sadly. Xiao, do you know, for me, your tears is spring time.

6.44: August 2005.
Qiao began to bring me to work together with him. I was never home alone anymore.
He often asked me if I like it, can or cannot or am I well or not. He asked me that a few times in a day.
“What do you want to eat for lunch?”
“Anything will do.”
“I will make you some porridge to eat?”
“Do you like the movie we watched yesterday?”
“Yes, I like.”
“We will go and watch it again next time?”
“Is this pillow okay? High enough”
“If you do not like it, I will go and buy you a few more.”
“Having you as my pillow is enough.”
“What are you looking at, so attentively?”
“Ring, wedding ring!”
“Throw it away. I’ll buy you a new one! A more beautiful one. This time, I will take you there together to choose it!”
“Xiao, it is enough…..really.”
“Si Ying, I….”
“Xiao, you do not owe me anything. You saved me!”
“I am not ……”

7.50: “Xiao, do you know, all I own and father’s wealth, so far has been given to two people. One is Xiao Bei. Since her childhood she is already hard working and eager to learn. But her family is very poor so I begged my father to sponsor her. Dad said yes with the condition that Xiao Bei cannot have any other friend. Xiao Bei took the money and said to my father, eventhough I’ve promised, I can always renege. But once your money is given, you cannot get it back. Thing like friendship if fake will be fake and if true will be true. Wait and see if you are able to control the conditions!”
“Haha, this woman is really very ferocious since young!”
“Yes ah, those who know her, all admire and appreciate her. Being with her, I am happy but as the same time also feel inferiror.”
“Si Ying, you don’t need to mention the other person. I know and we all know who that rogue is!”
“Xiao, you are not a rogue, you are Cheng Si Ying’s husband!”

9.03: “Xiao Bei, love and compassion, all along I have been afraid to mention this topic in front of him. If I am still healthy……”
“Regardless of whether he loves you or pities you, as long as he is distressed over you and cherish you, I think it is enough.”
“A man’s heart can only love once. After that time, all future encounters will be rational. As long as in his rational mind, you are treated importantly, then your position in his heart already existed, and this is enough.”
“But such and such is enough, this kind of conversation, I’ve already said them in my heart for a lifetime. In my lifetime, whether right or wrong, only my love for him is so strong until I myself is amazed. Possibly as per what he said, my persistent is merely a little fantasy in my limited life experience, but this little fanatical fantasy, unto death unchanged.

10.10: Rrrrrrring!!!!
“Xiao Bei, both of you have come?”
“Yes ah, we have already said we will come to visit you. Aren’t you going to let us in?”
“Please come in, quickly come in.”
“You look a lot better today.”
“Really? Please take a seat. Do you want to drink coffee or tea?”
“Ah Xiao Bei, can you come over here please? I will like to consult you on something!”
“Hmph! Didn’t you ask me to leave? Somemore want to consult me now.”
“Xiao Bei, just go and see what he wants.”
“Go lah.”
“Okay lah, I will give face to Si Ying.”
“What is Xiao asking Xiao Bei?”
“I don’t know. They are so secretive.”
“Help yourself with some fruits.”
“No need to serve me. Take good care of your body.”
“I am fine, very well. You seldom come to my house so it is an honour.”
“Hahahaha. Go, hubby, go, go, let’s go home!”
“You have just come and are leaving so soon. Don’t you want to stay for dinner?”
“No, I am not eating. I am already full with laughter. You quickly go and see your husband.”
“That bitch!”
“What is the matter? What did both of you talk about?”
“I I…….”
“It is okay if you don’t want to tell me.”
“I asked her, if there is a time that she does not let Lao Mei touch her!”
“She said yes! I asked her when is it? She said that few days each month and when she was pregnant! I also asked how about other days except that few days and when she was pregnant? She looked at me from top to bottom and said yes! I quickly asked when! She patted her stomach and said when her husband cannot work! That woman is so petty, knowing what I’m asking yet have to babble.”
“Then what do you want to ask?”
“Si Ying, why don’t you let me touch you?!”
Xiao, I knew you wanted to hug me to keep me warm because you treasure and cherish me but I have wilted, on the verge of falling.

12.18: In late September, some tree leaves have already begun to fall in the street. I rarely went to the doctor for further treatment and did not intend to do chemotherapy. Xiao could understand my thoughts, so what I have decided he would acquiesce. Day by day, I grew weaker. Deafness occurred from time to time, blurred vision, paralysis, lethargy and coma but I no longer felt scared, because each time after I regained consciousness, I would be in his embrace. I would like to part in this way.

12.59: Rrrrringggg!!!
“Okay, I know. Goodbye!. Hello! I am having my dinner. I don’t have time. We’ll talk later. Good bye!”
“Big Boss Xiao! It is not easy for us to manage to come out for dinner together so can your business be stopped for a while. Si Ying, in this case, you can question him who called and sent him sms. You have that right, so do not be too nice! Quickly ask lah!”
“Who has been looking for you?”
“Haha….Nothing! A bored woman!”
“Mr Xiao, who is the bored woman you mentioned!”
“I said it is you!”
“How am I bored? When I meet an old friend, I just want to say hi. Whereas you look so cold and indifferent! I miss you. When can I see you again?”
“You are sick, sitting in the middle of a married couple and openly seduce people’s husband! Witch, quickly get lost!”
“Xiao, am I a bored woman?”
“You are now!”
“Xiao, I have won over you once only but you have countless victories over me. When is next time?”
“Both of you really make me feel sick!”
“Si Ying, wait for me in the car first! I will come very soon.”
“Why, Si Ying, we are going to sit here and see what they can do!”
“Please, let’s go!”
“Xiao Bei, this is chosen by me and Xiao together for your twins. Take it!”
“Dolls! Oh, very heavy! If Xiao Huan does not show up within three minutes, I will take these two dolls and smash a hole in their heads, each person one.”
“He is here.”
Are you still human who actually dare to call your wife to wait outside?!”
“Where is that witch?”
“She has gone and will not appear again in the future.”
“Are you tired? Let’s go home!”
“Okay, Xiao Bei, bye bye!”
“You still won’t ask? You are not curious as to what I talked to her?
“I trust you.”
“Hahaha…..look at this silly girl, not grown up yet.”

15.37: “Hahaha, you are still laughing!”
“Only a few words and they can already make you happy. What have I done before?”
“Si Ying, all these years, I have never told you about my life outside. I never tell you but you also do not ask. You do not know anything, but also do not want to know anything. Thus, there is no way I can give you my heart.”
“I am sorry.”
“Si Ying, you should not be the one to say this word. This is because I desire excitement. Being with Luo Qing or other women is to seek pleasure, do you understand? I was really happy! But after feeling happy, I felt empty. I can go and admire those smart and even opinionated women for a day or even a month and even be conquered by their charm, but it is by no means forever. I would not consider getting married with any of them and would also not consider leaving you……”
“Xiao Hun!”
“I used to think that love requires equality because a love without mutual admiration will not last. Just like me and Luo Qing, we are both so arrogant. We think we see through this world. We play with each other and even cheer for each other cunning ways. We laugh at people of the world, deeply obsessed with that kind of solidarity feeling of reaching great height. However, Si Ying, when I look at you, I feel regret. I regret this stupid insistence, I really regret it. Do you believe me? Si Ying, I have everything but does not have pureness. I get everything but miss tranquillity. I look at you, look at you like this, really regretful!”
“Why do you want to tell me all these?!”
“I know you want to ask me if this is compassion or love. I don’t know and also do not care. I just want to treat you well now until I wish I can dig out my heart to show you.”
“Haha…Xiao, you are really not cut out to sweet talk. Don’t tell me Miss Luo has never laughed at you before!”
“It is the first time that I say such thing! During my university days, I read a lot of books. I remember I did not understand a saying all along, but I understand now!”
“What saying?”
“You have to promise me you will not laugh.”
“It is ……”
“I told you not to laugh! It is very profound and meaningful!”
“Okay, I will not laugh!”
“Because of love you love is God! Because you are loved you love is mortal.”
“Okay, my God, let this mortal carry you home!”

18.58: Rrrrrrringggg!!!!!
“Big brother’s wife!”
“Xiao Bei cannot come so I got them to keep you company!”
“All of you, why still don’t take out your presents!”
“This is from me. Hope big brother’s wife will like it.”
“Thank you.”
“Oh, I feel bad for taking your presents since today is not my birthday, anniversary day or festive day.”
“Big brother’s wife, this is my kind intention so please take it!”
“Such a beautiful knife with the inscription ‘Struggle for Half a Lifetime. Turn Back as Before (Die)'”
“Big brother’s wife, do you like it?”
“You still dare to ask! I told you not to bring something which will make her sad!”
“No, I like it. Xiao, don’t be like this!”
“Si Ying ……”
“Take out your hand.”
“Actually my present…..”
“Wah, such a beautiful ring. Xiao Cheng, you are so blessed.”
“Miss Cheng Si Ying, are you willing to let me take care of you for life?”
“My hubby, I am willing.”

20.11: In early November, I was admitted to the hospital and fell into coma frequently. After Xiao Huan arranged the company’s affairs, he stayed closely beside my bed to keep watch over me.
“Xiao, are you tired?”
“I am not tired!”
Rrrrrringggg !!!!
“I am going out to pick up a call and will return immediately.”
“Mrs Xiao, your husband treats you so well. Your lifetime can be considered worthy. I will take my leave first. If there is anything, call me.”
“Si Ying, how come you are awake? Don’t stand at the window or else you will catch a cold.”
“I want to eat something!”
“Okay, I will go and buy for you! What do you want to eat?”
“Just porridge la! I do not want anything oily.”
“You quickly go and quickly return!”
“What did you say? If you dare, say it again.”
“Mr. Xiao, Xiao Li is new, so he doesn’t know anything but he has kind intention. Anyway this is a hospital so please control your temper and don’t argue!”
“Get lost!”
“Xiao, what is the matter?”
“Give me your hand.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Yes, it is painful!” Actually, I have no feeling.
“Where is my porridge?
“I told the nurse to go and buy for you!”
“Are my hands cold?”
“No, they are not cold!”
“Why are you laughing?”
“Do you know there is a secret in the white woollen sweater I bought you?
“You take a look. I embroidered this.”
“Cheng Si Ying, why did you cut it off?”
“I did not embroider it well!”
“Give me!”
“I am not giving!”
“Give me!”
“I am not giving! I’ll give you something else to commemorate me!”
“Let me think ……”
“You still need to think!”
“Yes, I want to think about it……”
“What did Dr Li say to make you angry? He has been taking good care of me for a long time. You losing your temper like this, it will give me grievances ah!”
“He talked nonsense!”
“What did he say?”
“He said ……he said you are in the final radiance of a setting sun and will leave any time. He told me not to go anywhere. If I want to buy something, just get the nurse to do it!”
“So this is the final radiance of a setting sun ah. I have always been very curious, but I do not feel anything special ah! I just feel very quiet, relax and painless. Actually, this is the final radiance of a setting sun.”
“Si Ying!”

22.43: The time I really left was November 23, late autumn, the season for parting.
“Xiao Hun, how is Si Ying?”
“She is still like that.”
“Will she…….?”
“No, she won’t……,ah, she just woke up, do you want to say a few words to her?”
“No need lah. I…….”
“Oh! Okay! Whatever you want.”
“Please take good care of Si Ying.”
“Okay, good-bye!”
“Is it a call from Xiao Bei?”
“Yes, she said she is in the middle of doing her check-up and will call you back later.”
“Please open the windows.”
“Nurse! Nurse! Open the window.”
“Why so fierce, crazy ah! Hmph!”
“Such a fierce nurse!”
“Just ignore her.”
“I blame myself for not studying hard when I was young so grew up to become a fool. I obviously have a lot of things to say to you, but I do not know where to start!”
Cough! Cough!
“Are you cold?”
“When I was very young, I read a poem. I cannot remember very clearly and do not know who wrote it. It probably says something like this ……”
“Si Ying! Si Ying! Si Ying! Si Ying……….!!!! Si Ying! Sing Ying! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Si Ying!”
At that time, I was still thinking did I finish what I wanted to say. But I’ll never know ……
“Si Ying! Si Ying! Si Ying…………………!!!”

That poem says this:

If I leave you behind in the mountains,
I want to come back,
Pass through tangled forest,
Transform into a lark,
Return to your side!

If I drift away from you in the sea,
I want to come back,
Surf across rampant waves,
Change into a sea gull,
Return to your side!

If I get lost in the prairie,
I want to recover your footprints,
Transform into an elk,
Travel over many hills and rivers,
Return to your side!

But my dear,
Unfortunately I was in the middle of,
Holding your hands when I left you,
I can only say to you:
Hope in this lifetime,
Forget me forever!

9 thoughts on “Falling Leaves Without Trace (叶落无痕) Radio Drama with English Subtitles (Part 2)

  1. Always own you a lot, dear :3
    Haha, I love the female lead in here. She’s just a simple girl who wants simple happiness by her loved one. Just like that. She doesn’t want richness, success or anything like that… just a simple life (like ancient Chinese poets who find far-way place to live ^^) – somehow like me. However, I’m not suffering from sickness like her, therefore, I won’t be that obstinate with that kind of man 😦 I think that her stubbornness comes from she knowing the fact that she won’t live long *crying*

    The male lead -_- he just doesn’t know what is the most precious thing in his life, hah XD don’t like him XD

    The music in here is so nice, hah ^^

    • I feel Xiao Hun isn’t that bad if you read the novel in full. I can’t say I like him but at least he tried to make amend and stayed with her throughout her illness when he could have left. Nobody is perfect. Part of the reason why he didn’t treat her well at the beginning of their marriage is also partly the fault of Si Ying as she is too weak and accepting.

      The radio drama actually cut out a lot of the impt bits in the novel but it is nicely produced with appropriate and nice music, plus good dubbing, The trailer for another new radio drama is out & it is not as good.

      • I read the novel first, that is why I don’t really like XH. But I actually dont hate him either.
        I think SY is not weak, she’s accepting, but not weak, I even feel she’s strong in her own way ‘cuz she knew her illness from very soon ^^ XH wanted to have a good chance to develop, that’s why he chose to marry SY, but that’s not SY’s fault, she loves him, of course she’ll accept this marriage. She wants a normal life, but just because her father’s rich, XH treat her badly =”=

        The voice in here is very nice,hah? I just love SY’s voice ❤

  2. I cried. And cried. And realized. That since I didn’t listen to the radio drama, I didn’t even get half of the story. But the poem at the end really struck home.
    So, please reimburse me for that box of tissues.

    • Can u understand Chinese? There are links in SSB for the full story & also the audio book. I recommend u to listen to the radio drama bcos it is very well done. I cry like a baby whenever I listen to it 😦 The songs are also good !!!

      Phong is the one who owes u the tissues not me 😛 You don’t need tissues, go & read the other short story Checkmate Your Heart, to dry up your tears 🙂

      • I was right about not listening to it. I cried, rewound, cried, rewound, curled up in a ball and cried. More tissues…!

  3. Whoa… Such a sad story. First time I listened to a radio drama. It was short enough to keep me interested. I love the songs… Thanks for your translation, Peanuts!

  4. TToTT What the heck, why is it so sad?!!!
    Why the heck did she have to die?!
    That stupid guy!!!
    I hope Si Ying get reincarnated as Xiao Bei’s daughter.

  5. So sad I am gonna die from crying *sniff* *sniff*

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