Fangirling Chinese Novels

Wipe Clean After Eating (吃干抹净): Chapter 2



Thank you everyone for the overwhelming response:) Hence, you get chapter two translated with koala’s speed in record time, lol. This is a very simple book with an obvious male lead so no divided affection. It is also a funny and happy novel so no need to search for spoilers as the ending is they live happily ever after. What you need to do is just sit back and enjoy your journey with my translation. But a word of warning, read it in public at your own risk:P

 Chapter 2: Fall into Enemy’s Hands

I am sitting uneasily in the waiting area and watching the candidates being called in one by one into the interview room. When I see each one of them come out with a dejected look on their face, I am of two minds. On one hand, I am glad that they didn’t get hired so the position is still available. On the other hand,  I realize since even they failed to get hired, I am afraid there is even less hope for someone like me who has just offended an interviewer!

When a woman in the interview room, calls my name, suddenly my level of nervousness rises to the highest point. I take a few continuous deep breaths before finally feeling a little more at ease. Then I notice everyone around me are staring at me and the woman who just called my name is becoming a little impatient. Hence, I quickly take my bag and run into the interview room.

I see seven interviewers sitting inside the room. The one sitting in the middle is the main interviewer, whereas the others sit evenly on the left and right sides of him.  The moment I step into the room, I immediately feel that I’ve time traveled back to ancient times. It feels like I am being put on trial, without the noisy shouting only. I look in front of me and right away I see that distinctly handsome, refined and extremely elegant man sitting in the middle as the main interviewer.  On the tabletop in front of him, there is a card with his name on it: Lu Jun.

He has changed into a light blue shirt, appearing even more sexy, refined and handsome. When I am coming into the room, he is typing on the keyboard of his computer. However, when I am approaching the table, he immediately stops typing on the keyboard and leans casually on his rotating leather chair.  Then, he picks up a pen, fiddles with it lightly and taps it gently on the tabletop. He calmly looks at my ill at ease face and seemingly gives me an enigmatic smile.

I am starting to have pins and needles in my feet, so I quickly hand him my resume with both of my hands and sit down on a small chair across from him. He lowers his eyes, quickly glances at my resume, immediately looks up, raises his eyebrows and asks: “Miss Xia, are you ready?”

I straighten my back to sit upright and nods my head earnestly. “Very good, then we’ll start asking questions now.” He nods his head slightly, looks at me without even blinking his eyes and uses a very formal tone to ask: “Miss Xia, please truthfully and in detail, tell us about your experience before coming to the company.”

“Huh, experience …… truthful and in detail …… ” I try to think about my own experience and immediately reply very earnestly: “Before I came to your company for the interview, I finished eating my breakfast at eight o’clock. Then I took a taxi from home but there was a traffic jam on my way here so I was delayed for about ten minutes. I took about thirty minutes to reach your company. In addition, I fell down on the stairs when ……”

“Okay.” His calm, collected, graceful and handsome face becomes dark and he firmly interrupts me. Then, he also very firmly lifts up a pen to record down: “Completely lack of work experience and behave carelessly.”

I: “…… = =”

In the midst of silent, I can see that the other interviewers are having difficulty, containing their laughter ……

I’m angry! Where got people like you, so sloppy in making judgement!? This is not fair! (Anger is useless …… what people wrote is true.)

After finished writing, Lu Jun looks up again, ignores my protest, smiles gracefully at me and says: “Now, we proceed to the next question.”

I take a deep breath and nod my head.  I have learnt my lesson just now, so I am determined that this time, I must not expose my shortcomings again. Instead I must try to show my strengths la!

This time, he looks at the content of my resume fairly carefully, then slowly starts to talk: “Miss Xia, tell us which part of your resume do you feel most proud of? ”

“Most proud of …… ah, the borders for this resume look very nice! I used an hour to make it personally.” I am full of confident and point at the design on the resume cover. Having the ability to personally  design such beautiful and intricate pattern should be regarded as a strength, right?

Unexpectedly, I barely finish talking here, his sexy pursed lip starts to twitch. Then, he looks at me in silent. After a while, he only starts to look normal again. He looks at my resume again and unbelievably says: “One hour? Such simple pattern, usually four or five can be done in twenty minutes la.” While talking, he picks up his pen and records again: ” No personal strength at all and inefficient.”

I: “…… = =”

I guess they cannot control themselves anymore, as all the interviewers start to laugh. I clench my teeth and hold back tears. Sob, sob, you can make four or five in twenty minutes but that doesn’t mean I also can ah!

“Next question.” He has a smile that gives me goosebumps on his face. He raises his eyebrows slightly and asks: “If you are hired by the company, what kind of personal characteristics do you hope your manager will possess?”

When I hear this question, I immediately remember my unpleasant recent conversation with him, so I quickly say: “I’ve no other requirements except, I hope my manager can be tolerant, forgiving, is not petty and lastly will not hold a grudge. Not only, he will not retaliate on those who have offended him, but he is also magnanimous enough to forgive them. Being able to empathize with them and treat them well will be perfect!”

When I barely finish talking, he begins to record again: “Simple-minded and like to fantasize about the impossible.”

I:  …… = =”

The pampered big boss of the big company, the young and promising general manager who does not have to worry about clothes and food! You are clearly ruining my chance to earn a living! If this kind of evaluation is spreaded around, which other company will still hire me ah?

After three questions, I ‘ve already completely given up hope, so I don’t want to continue with the interview anymore.  I collapse back on the chair and I am sure I look like a defeated cock. (Hen?)

When I am feeling very down and disappointed, that man who is sitting opposite me seems to be very satisfied with my dejected expression. He looks very relaxed and pleased.  Then, he gracefully rests his chin on his hand and starts to make his concluding remarks: “Miss Xia, you have no work experience, is careless, has no personal strength, is inefficient, is simple-minded and also like to fantasize the impossible. I am afraid a person like you will be unemployed for a long time as it is very difficult for you to find a job.”

I consciously and knowingly nod my head: “Yes …… I understand. I’ll leave immediately.” Then, I stand up without much energy, turn around and is about to leave. It is at this moment, suddenly a refined and nice voice calls me from behind.

“Miss Xia, congratulations, you are hired by the company.”

I look flabbergasted and froze on the spot.

Hired, hired , hired …… The word keeps repeating itself continuously in my mind. Obviously, I am not the only one who is shocked as an interviewer sitting on the left side who is resting his chin on his hand, has just dropped his chin on the table. Whereas, the eyeballs of another interviewer who is sitting on the right side, nearly fall out.  Anyway, the situation now is that everyone are unanimously shocked and stared at the unperturbed boss.

Apparently Big BOSS Lu also realises that thing is a little out of control, so he clears his throat and in all seriousness, says: “Didn’t the company set up a charity activity to assist the long-term unemployed university graduates? I believe Miss Xia is very qualified to receive such assistance.”

I: “……”

Consequently, all those previous comments that hurt my self-esteem have now become the reasons for my employment? I …… Should I feel honoured ah? = =

At this moment,  several other people are starting to look normal again. One of them who is puzzled, weakly asks: “General manager, when did this charity activity begin? How come I do not have any recollection?”

Big BOSS Lu very calmly taps his keyboard and quickly prints a few papers. With calculated unhurried steps, he distributes them to everyone. Then, with a calm demeanor, he announces: “This is the activity plan which I have just written and will be formally implemented from now onward.”

Everyone: “…… = =”

Suddenly I realise, he was writing this activity plan when I came in just now and saw him busy typing away! Since he has already decided to hire me at the beginning, why did he still criticise me for being useless ah! I am furious! But then again, if he did not use this method to prove that I will be unemployed for a long time, then there is no reason to hire me ah.

Did he criticise me in order to hire me or was I hired just so that he can continue to criticise me in the future?

Momentarily, I am confused and need to ponder about it ……

31 thoughts on “Wipe Clean After Eating (吃干抹净): Chapter 2

  1. You’re so fast this time. Haha my poor Xia Ye, she left her brain at home. Can’t wait for the next chapter ! *apples*

    • Wah, first to comment again:P Either you like this book very much or you always lurk around my blog, lol. Yah, I am really fast with this bcos I truly enjoy myself when I am translating it plus I don’t need to wait for my editor:P I didn’t do word by word translation like in GM’s books but it is very close to the book. I changed something here & there to flow better as well as to make it even more funny. Don’t you think so, lol?

  2. Welcome to the lion’s den Xia Ye LOL Next chapter wpuld be more interesting I guess ^^

    • This chapter not interesting meh? I like the interview answers and records, lol. Poor thing, got hired out of charity, lol.

      • it is interesting of course that’s why I read it and the next would be more interesting for sure. Seems that a lot of people like and respond well to this translation, good job peanut for picking this novel😀

        • Haha, I’ve to admit I’ve an eye for funny novels, lol. Actually this novel is not popular in China and didn’t even get published:(

  3. wow, so great🙂 i like, thanks for your translation

  4. LOL, her answer are ridiculous😀
    Damn the boss is smart. Never imagine he’ll use this kind of trick to hire her!
    thanks for the speedy chapter, peanuts!

    • I am normally slow, this is a one-off only:P In this kind of funny novel, usually the female lead is slow & the male lead is smart so that we can laugh at their silly antics. I think this female is tolerable bcos I’ve read some really dumb ones who annoyed me.

  5. lol her response to the interview questions made me laugh so hard. She’s pretty shameless, but I have a feeling I’m gonna love that about her

  6. Wow chapter 2 , thanks peanuts .looking forward for chapter 3🙂

    • Haha, you are welcome. Chapter 3 has to wait as I really need to finish chapter 4 of Silent Separation. I am not very motivated bcos there is a lack of Yi Chen, lol.

      • haha ,yah i will be waiting for silent separation too:) but it’s ok i still can wait:) greetings from Finland:)

  7. Hahahahahaha! I recognise this novel.🙂 So glad you picked it up and giving it lots of love <3333

  8. Thanks Peanuts! Such a funny story, haha.😀

  9. Many many thanks for your hard work in translating!

  10. I think if you’re too nervous, this could REALLY happen. Hahaha! I remember once I flunked an interview because I was too honest and just answered what immediately came to mind. It was only after the interview that I realized how stupid and self-destructive my answers were. (-_-‘)

  11. OMG…haha…next time..I am not going to eat while reading your translations…I nearly choked 2 times, because I was laughing so hard…Thank you so much for this chapter!

  12. hahahaha…. it’s hilarious. i’m surprised that chapter 2 is more funny than ch. 1.

  13. this is so funny… i laugh till i tear up xD

  14. Very stressful days at work. So I returned this blog to read this very enjoyable novel over lunch. I am now smiling, so it provided definite stress relief. Thank you for the translation!

  15. So hilarious! Enjoying it way too much, thanks!


    This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day. I already ship them so hard

  17. LOL!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
    Thanks for the warning. Good thing im reading this while im idling at home.

    Hilarous. Usually im not fan of dumb heroin. But im this case, she’s so adorable.

  18. wa…the warnings of not reading in public was so late…i am laughing at what i am reading…good thing i am still at my office..OMG.

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