Wipe Clean After Eating: Chapter 3

March 17, 2014 by peanuts 59 Comments

How many of my readers like apple? Do you like the Apple or an apple, get my drift, lol? Anyone know French except bongsd:P? This novel is even more funny if you understand Mandarin as the joke is based on similar sounding words. Hence, you need to be careful with the pronunciations or else you may end up being misleading or misled, inadvertently or intentionally:)

Chapter 3: Losing Out

Although the interview process to get hired seems a little bit abnormal, (it is completely abnormal! = =) at least I was successful in gaining employment. As a result, I am very happy and look forward  to start my job soon.

After getting the job, of course the first thing I do is to share the good news with my dear mother. Thinking that once the old lady hears the good news, she will be so ecstatic until she will personally cook a delicious meal to reward me. Unexpectedly, in order to celebrate that she no longer needs to use her life savings to look after me anymore, my mum decides not to cook tonight! Hence, before the sky is dark, she leisurely goes to her mahjong buddy’s house to have dinner as well as play mahjong, Whereas I am left all alone to cook instant noodles to eat at home.

Initially, I think mum will engage in a bloody battle with her mahjong buddies until at least midnight or even overnight but surprisingly she comes back early.  However, the moment she steps into the house, she angrily sits at the dinning table and slams her fist down on the table: “What kind of people are these ah! I am really mad at them!”

I am scared by her roar and started to shiver. Then, instinctively I move over to her side and ask: “Mum, what happened ah? Aren’t you playing mahjong with your buddies? How come you are back so early ?”

“Will you be willing to play mahjong with a person who shows off after winning some money but becomes angry after losing money ah?” Mum finishes talking in a low voice and an expressionless face. Following which, she looks at me with anticipation.

Actually it is like that so no wonder mum came back so early and panting with rage! I shake my head firmly: “Of course, I am not willing la! Who will be willing to play mahjong with such a person ah!” While talking, I gently stroke her back and comfort her: “Mum, don’t be angry. It is not worth your while to be angry over this kind of people!”

Unexpectedly, after my mum listened to my comforting words, her facial expression not only is not calmer, instead is more resentful in glaring at me. She says in a sorrowful and hurtful tone: “Even you are not willing, so no wonder they are not willing to play with me ah.”

I: “…… = =”

As it turns out, the person with the unsporting behaviour is actually you ah! My dear mother, what else can I say?

On a sunny morning, my long-awaited working life has finally started so I change into my one and only suit which I wore during the interview. Before leaving home, mum did not forget to give me a few pointers: “In the company, you must behave gently and friendly. Try to foster a good relationship with your colleagues, especially the male colleagues. It will be good if you can bring back a boyfriend to let me see as early as possible. Aunt Liu’s elder son is still waiting for my response ah! ”

My whole body starts to tremble and immediately my head is very painful. Mum, you still have not given up hope on match making me with Aunt Liu’s elder son Xu Jin Song ah!? Aiya …… It seems that before I find a boyfriend, she will not give up on Xu Jin Song, this big tree!

I catch the seven thirty bus which is during the rush hour. Thus, the inside of the bus is hot and stuffy, crowded with people that it can even flatten a fat person to become thin. When I finally arrive and get off the bus, my hair has become messy. However, there is no time for me to comb my hair, before I go into the building.

When I arrive at the company’s personnel department, a forty years-old middle-aged uncle looks at me and asks: “I am Liu Rong, the head of the department here, may I know who you are?”

I quickly smile: “Hello,  supervisor Liu. I’m here to report myself for my first day at work!”

“Oh.” he nods his head in understanding. Then, he says with certainty: “You should be the new cleaner.”

Immediately, my face turns black. Hey, are you blind or what ah? Do I really look like a cleaning lady?

Keeping in check my discontentment, I politely say: “My name is Xia Ye, who is the new secretary to the general manager.”

“Are you really the general manager’s secretary?” Immediately, supervisor Liu is astonished and size me up once again from head to feet and again from the feet to head. It seems the more he looks, the more confused he becomes and finally he mutters: “How can leh? The general manager’s former secretaries have all been very pretty ah!”

I am angry. What does this mean! Am I not pretty, not pretty!? (To observe a moment of silence for you. = = )

“Ah! Miss Xia, please come with me. I’ll take you around to familiarize yourself with the company!”

Obviously, he saw my darken face,  so supervisor Liu quickly changes the subject. Okay lah, consider you quick-witted.

After, bringing me to walk one round and getting familiar with everything, supervisor Liu starts to tell me the daily job responsibilities of a secretary to the general manager.  Lastly, he brings me to a desk situated outside the general manager’s office.

Supervisor Liu with his business-like look, asks: “Miss Xia, you are going to work here.  You’ve remembered what I’ve just said, right?”

I nod my head repeatedly: “Yes, I have remembered them!”

He nods his head with satisfaction: “Then, start doing your work now.  If you have any need or question, come and look for me anytime.”

After saying that, he turns around and leaves. After, he left my line of vision, I quickly sit down in front of my desk. When I look at my own office equipment, I feel very excited. The desktop feels so cool and smooth, and also smells like sandalwood incense. I am sure I will feel cool and comfortable sleeping on it. (Can’t your brain think of something else = =) This chair should be made from leather, right? Also, this computer ……

“Beep beep ……”

Suddenly, the sound of a sharp and clear ringtone frightens me. I find out that the sound comes from the phone, so I quickly answer it: “Hello! This is the general manager’s office, I am ……”

“Come in.” That refined and pleasant to hear voice sounds very familiar. Oh, it is the voice of my current boss.

I quickly get up and open the door to go into his office. Lu Jun is being buried behind a stack of files.  The top two buttons on his shirt are opened,  so you can see a little bit of his firm and muscular chest. His fine and thick eyelashes cover his black and bright eyes. He seems to look a bit like a cultured scholar. I don’t really want to admit this, but when he is working seriously, he looks very elite and charming.

I am a little nervous when I step forward a few steps and ask softly : “General manager, what do you want me to do?”

Lu Jun only raises his head after signing a document in his hand and looks at me: “Xia Ye, do you know French?”

Immediately, I feel a little ashamed and shake my head lightly: “No……”

He smiles and nods his head: “It is good that you don’t know.”

I: “…… ?”

He smiles at me gracefully and suddenly asks again: “Then, how are you placed with your work today?”

At this moment, I am even more ashamed: “This, I have not started yet …… I will go and do them right away!”

He shakes his head: “No need.” While talking to me, he takes a piece of paper from the printer, gives it to me and instructs me: “Stop all your other work first. Your task for this morning is to recite from memory the French on this piece of paper. I have helped you to translate them into Chinese in accordance to the pronunciations. After you have memorized them,  go to the cafe opposite the office at two o’clock.  Then, you recite it fluently to the guest on table number 13.”

I take the paper and and look at it. One paragraph of hard to pronounce Chinese is printed on it. Suddenly, I recall an incident in the past. When I was in high school, the teacher wanted us to recite an English essay. I also translated that into Chinese sounding words to bluff my way through! (Why she sounded so proud of herself? = =)

When I am about to nod my head, I suddenly realize I’ve a question: “That …… general manager, when supervisor Liu told me about my daily job responsibilities just now, I don’t think the task you wanted me to do is included in my job responsibilities ……”

“Well …… ” Lu Jun gracefully rests his chin in his hand and ponders for a while, then looks at me and an idea struck his mind: “This task will be considered your additional workload and you will be rewarded on its successful completion.”

When I hear this, I am very surprised.  My eyes light up instantly: “Really? What kind of reward?”

He blinks and suddenly asks: “Yes, what kind of mobile phone are you using now?”

I am somewhat at a loss and reply: ” Nokia 6300, so?”

“Oh, such an old model la.” He raises his eyebrows and sighs.

I suck up to him at once and agree: “Yes ah, yes ah!”

Big Boss Lu who looks calm and unruffled, nods his head and says something which makes me feel very excited: “Well, the reward …… will be Apple’s third generation la.”

See, see, what is being generous? This is what is called generosity! Worthy to be called the leader of a large company. Worthy to be a well-off capitalist ah! Give such a stylish reward casually to a little employee!

With such a rich reward as the driving force, my enthusiasm for this surpasses by far my high school days of reciting English essays. For the whole morning, I muster all my strength and immerse myself in reciting hard. Finally, I manage to memorize and recite fluently this mouthful of Fench before two o’clock.  According to Big Boss’s Lu’s instruction, I arrive on time to the cafe across the office. Then, I see the guest who is sitting on table No. 13 is a real eye-popper. Such a beautiful French beauty ah! Can she be the company’s foreign customer?

I keep staring at her soft blonde hair and green eyes. When I see her returning my stare unhappily, I quickly recover my  composure and smile politely at her.  Then, I sit down on a chair across from her and recite fluently those French words I’ve committed to memory.

Unexpectedly, after listening to me, she glares at me and says something which I can’t understand loudly and rapidly. She seems very angry. I am puzzled, can it be me that I have recited some parts wrongly?

Before I have time to understand what is happening, the French beauty suddenly stands up and angrily storms out of the cafe.

Suddenly, I tense up.  I am finished, finished. It is unlikely I have offended this foreign customer, right? It is okay if my salary is deducted as a result of this. But if I get expelled on my first day at work, my mother will strangle me! Thinking about this, I quickly get up and want to give chase, but is stopped by a waiter: ” Excuse me Miss, you’ve not paid your bill yet.”

I have no other option but to take out money to pay for the French beauty’s drink. It costs 99 yuan, what kind of coffee is so expensive ah!

I feel uneasy about this and return to the office. I report the situation at that time to the general manager right away. I am prepared to beg for forgiveness.  However, never in my wildest dream will I think, not only he does not blame me, but smiles at me and keeps nodding his head in approval.

I look at his relief expression gloomily and can’t help secretly crticising him for being eccentric in my heart!

After all, I’ve done my duty. I am over the moon and beaming with joy when I look at big boss Lu who seems to be glittering brightly.

“General manager, where is the reward you promised me?”

“Oh, it is ready.” Big boss Lu actually keeps his promise. He looks calm and nods his head. Then, slowly he takes out three bags of bright red apples from behind his desk. He gives me a very gentle smile and says: “Well, this is the reward I promised you, so take it la.”

I: “……”

This is truly genuine three bags of apple ah! (In Chinese, bag and generation are pronounced as ‘dai’. When Big Boss Lu said apple 3 dai, he meant apple 3 bags but Xia Ye heard, Apple 3G.) In the morning, when he asked me what type of mobile phone I use, he deliberately misled me to misunderstand, right? But what can I say ? After all, although he mentioned about the mobile phone before, he did not explicitly say how it will be related to my reward. It is my own understanding that the mobile phone will be my reward!

I wasted countless brain cells memorizing and reciting French ah. Also, the 99 yuan coffee money which I paid ah. This scoundrel who bullies the staff and exploits ordinary civilians, such a scoundrel ah !