I huff and puff to rush this out for you lucky fans:) Unfortunately, Yi Chen is still sick in the hospital so he has no energy to appear in this chapter, but next chapter will be good with plenty of interactions between Yi Chen and Mo Sheng. Although there is no sign of the current Yi Chen, the young Yi Chen will appear to give Mo Sheng a surprise first kiss, lol. Also, we learn even more of the depth of Yi Chen’s love for Mo Sheng. I like the ways Yi Mei described them, especially these lines – “He can continue to wait year after year in an almost hopeless situation, whereas I cannot. I didn’t lose to you, but I lost to him.” For your information, the cover picture is chosen by lidge out of three choices:)
Chapter 5: Reminiscence (translated by peanuts and edited by lidge)
0.31: For the next few days, Mo Sheng continuously traveled to take pictures so she did not hear anything more about the interview with Tao Yi Jing. She already spoke to Lao Bai to change jobs so she would not have anything to do with it anymore.
The shooting completed relatively smoothly that day. Thus, Mo Sheng returned to the office rather early. When she was washing her hands in the toilet, she was pulled aside by Ah Mei and several female colleagues to gossip.
“Ah Sheng, your elite men’s interviews might not go ahead.”
“Tao Yi Jing did not even get to meet her famous subject and was rejected immediately. She is made a laughing stock now. Initially, she talked with so much arrogance but is now humiliated.” Ah Mei’s tone sounded a little like she was rejoicing in other people’s misfortune.
“Yes ah, I heard she called the law firm, but it was answered by his assistant, who gave the excuse that lawyer He is sick.”
“Sick?” Initially, Mo Sheng was about to walk out, but when she heard this, she stopped walking, “Is it true?”
“It is certainly false. I saw him on a TV program yesterday.”
Such program was usually recorded in advance. So was Yi Chen really sick?
She still felt uneasy while sitting in the office. Then, she laughed at herself. Zhao Mo Sheng, in what capacity can you show concern for him now? Mo Sheng ridiculed herself over and over.
“Ah Sheng, your call!” Lao Bai transferred the call to her, “This person seems to have called twice in the morning.”
“Okay, I’ll answer it.” Mo Sheng picked up the phone: “Hello, how are you?”
“Are you Zhao Mo Sheng?” The gentle voice of a man echoed from the other end of the phone, “I am Xiang Heng.”
1.37: She met with Xiang Heng in a cafe called ‘Silent World’ which is situated in the eastern side of the city.
After briefly greeting each other, Xiang Heng said: “It is not easy to look for you, but luckily Yi Chen mentioned you work as a photographer in a magazine publisher.”
Seeing Mo Sheng looking at him with a stunned face, Xiang Heng smiled: “What kind of expression is that? Is it very strange for Yi Chen to mention you? Actually, Yi Chen did not say anything, but it was Lao Yuan, a middle-aged gossipy man. Hence, a bit of information was dug up……” For some reason, Xiang Heng became uncomfortable.
The waiter came and handed them the menu.
After ordering drinks, Xiang Heng started to talk about the main topic: “You probably feel very strange that I asked you to come out.”
Indeed, very strange. Although Mo Sheng knew this elegant and polite man in front of her, he was not a close friend. For a very long time, her impression of him was just as “Yi Chen’s roommate.” She did not even remember his name clearly. Until one day, she followed people from his dormitory to eat hot pot. It was a must to bring a partner to the gathering. In the end, only Xiang Heng came alone. There was a person who teased him by saying: “Xiang Heng, even He Yi Chen is taken, how long do you want to remain single?”
Xiang Heng sighed and said: “It is easy for you to say, but where do I find a courageous and indomitable Zhao Mo Sheng to take me?” Xiang Heng glanced at Mo Sheng and said it in jest.
Unfortunately, Yi Chen made the situation worse by saying: “If you want, then I will give her to you so my life can be more quiet.”
She was sitting beside him and felt sorry for herself. She did not even say anything, yet a disaster descended from heaven (unexpected adversity). This group of people was from the Faculty of Law, all of them infamous for their poisonous tongues.
Thereafter, she remembered Xiang Heng.
3.06: Seeing Mo Sheng a little dazed, Xiang Heng suddenly spoke: “Actually, I have always been puzzled, why you could become Yi Chen’s girlfriend during university. You should know back then, there were many girls who were prettier, smarter and more outstanding than you that also liked Yi Chen.”
Mo Sheng did not know why he suddenly mentioned about the past so she remained quiet and listened to what else he had to say.
He started to reminiscence: “At that time, one of the entertainment in our dormitory was gambling on which girl will eventually be able to get Yi Chen. One night after the lights were off, we started to gamble noisily again. Someone bet on one of the prettiest girls in our faculty. Someone else bet on a talented girl who took part in the debate competition with He Yi Chen, and I think I bet on a girl from the Faculty of Foreign Languages.”
He smiled and recalled the frivolous days of being young: “Yi Chen always implemented a ‘three don’ts’ policy on this kind of activity, which were ‘don’t approve, don’t pay attention and don’t participate.’ He would read his books, sleep and let us make jokes and noise. However, one time, after we have put our bets, he suddenly said – ‘ I bet on Zhao Mo Sheng,'” Xiang Heng looked at her, “That was the first time I heard your name.”
That was the reason why afterwards, someone started to spread around that she was his girlfriend. Yi Chen never mentioned this.
“You can imagine how curious we were about you. Later, we were even more surprised when we met you. Yi Chen always had a steadiness and calmness beyond his age. In our impression, his girlfriend should also be mature and sensible, but you…..” Xiang Heng said implicitly, “were not what we expected.”
“Honestly speaking, in the beginning I was not optimistic about your relationship, but gradually Yi Chen was just like any normal twenty years old big boy. He often was mad because of you. He also could be so happy and would do what we asked and washed everyone’s clothes in the dormitory. Hmmm, that happened on his birthday ……”
This kind of thing happened on Yi Chen? So unbelievable.
4.34: On the day of his birthday, she searched throughout the city yet she could not find a satisfactory birthday gift to buy. As a result, she could only appear at ten something that night, looking dead tired at the downstairs of his dormitory to wish him happy birthday empty-handed.
Yi Chen asked her with a straight face: “Where did you go today? Where is my present?”
Naturally, she could not produce a present. Yi Chen fiercely glared at her for a long time and finally said in defeat: “Forget about it. Close your eyes!”
She closed her eyes. Then, he bent his head down and kissed her. It was their first kiss.
She could still remember after she opened her eyes, she foolishly asked him: “Yi Chen, today is not to celebrate my birthday.”
Mo Sheng’s hand holding the coffee cup shook a bit, and she put it back on the table.
Why did this man want to mention so many things of the past? Could he stop talking ah?
“The matter you said I need to know is this?” She interrupted him.
Xiang Heng paused, his face pale. He looked at her for a long while, slowly shook his head and said: “Zhao Mo Sheng, you are really cruel.”
Yes, ah, she can be cruel to everyone.
Xiang Heng didn‘t say anything anymore. He took out a pen and paper to write two lines then handed it to her. Mo Sheng took the paper with the name of a hospital and ward number written on it.
“With his working style, premature death is not surprising, not to mention the ‘unimportant’ stomach bleeding.” Xiang Heng’s voice was always mild and gentle but now turned cold, “I’ve given you the address of the hospital. Whether to go or not is your business. I do not know what happened between both of you, but Zhao Mo Sheng!” His voice was full of condemnation, “A person cannot be too selfish!”
5.55: After he finished talking, he paid the bill and left. Mo Sheng sat there, shocked by this piece of news. She tightly squashed the piece of paper in her hand into a ball. Although her fingernails were not long, it was still quite painful when they pierced into the flesh, but she was not aware. Stomach bleeding, hospital, Yi Chen …… because of her ah? Indeed, because of her?
The coffee was already cold. Mo Sheng pushed open the door of the cafe, and she did not know when it started to rain outside. How could it rain at this time lah? In particular, it was a heavy downpour.
Surprisingly, she managed to flag down a taxi easily. The driver was someone too enthusiastic. After hearing where she wanted to go, he began to constantly ask questions.
“Miss, is your friend sick?”
“Miss, are you still studying or working?”
Mo Sheng replied “ah” and “oh” and looked out the taxi’s window. What the driver said fell on deaf ears since she did not pay attention. The outside scenery one by one flashed before her eyes, but she did not see anything. Surprisingly, there was no red traffic light along the way so she arrived at the hospital very quickly. She also found Yi Chen‘s ward very easily. When she was standing in front of the door, her hands felt very heavy, she could not lift her hands to knock.
But should she leave? Her legs also felt very heavy, she could not lift her legs to move.
There was one moment, she actually thought she would stand there forever, dare not get close but also could not bear to leave. Even when the universe is flooded, the seas run dry and the stones go soft (until the end of time), she would forever stand outside his door.
But how could there be a forever? If it was meant to come, it would eventually come, no matter what a person would do to avoid it. The door was pulled open from inside, but she was not able to dodge on time so she stood facing that person.
7.37: There are people we are destined to meet, moreover the reasons are always the same, such as Yi Mei and her.
Later, Mo Sheng always wondered, how did this gentle as water and exquisite as poetry girl feel when the man she loved introduced her to others, “This is my little sister”? At that time, she was thick-skinned and introduced herself, “I am your brother’s girlfriend”. Yi Chen did not refute it so how painful it must have been for her.
She saw her and actually smiled gently at her. How much unknown sorrow and grief behind that smile?
Hey! Yi Mei, Yi Mei, long time no see.
“Mo Sheng, finally meeting you again.”
Yes ah, finally.
“Are you here to visit Yi Chen ah?” Yi Mei asked, “He just fell asleep. If you have time, can you accompany me to his house? I want to help him get some daily necessities.”
Mo Sheng hesitated for a moment, then nodded her head: “Okay.”
“He …… is alright?”
“Yes. The doctor said all will be well, as long as there is plenty of rest and to pay attention to his diet.”
“That’s good.” Mo Sheng said in a low voice.
They talked about their current situations while on the way to Yi Chen’s house. Yi Mei said: “Actually, I wanted to look for you earlier, but suddenly my company sent me traveling so I have been very busy. It is not easy for me to make a trip back, but Yi Chen suddenly fell ill. Aiya, I finally experience the suffering of a career woman.”
Mo Sheng said: “I did not expect you to become a successful career woman.”
“Aren‘t you also the same? At that time, you would use your camera to simply take pictures of anything. I did not expect you to become a photographer.”
Mo Sheng started to laugh: “I still simply take pictures of anything now.”
9.05: Yi Mei also laughed: “If your boss heard what you said, she will be angry …… We have arrived, it is right here.” She stopped walking and took out the keys to open the door. Mo Sheng also stopped for a moment and followed her inside.
Yi Chen’s home was located on the 12th floor of a premium residential area in the western side of the city. The house was very big but looked very empty. There were no unnecessary things but only a few open magazines on the coffee table, which made it look like someone was staying here.
“In recent years, everyone is busy so we only occasionally get together.” Yi Mei talked while packing his things. When she opened the refrigerator, she helplessly shook her head, “There is really nothing inside. He is probably the most incapable person to take care of himself in the world. The last time I came, I actually saw him eating instant noodles. That was the last straw so I dragged him to the supermarket, but I did not expect to meet you there.”
Yi Chen had always been like this. How would Mo Sheng not know lah? He always had something even more important to do than eating. The only way to deal with this type of people would be: “You don’t eat, I also won’t eat.”
“Oh, yes.” Yi Mei suddenly said, “I’m getting married soon, do you know? The groom is my supervisor, the story is like Cinderella.”
Mo Sheng was stunned and stared at her: “You are getting married?”
“Yes, I am getting married.” She smiled, nodded her head and lamented, “In the past, I was ignorant to say those words to you. Afterwards, I only found out there are some things we cannot fight for. Regarding Yi Chen, I‘ve long given up hope.”
10.23: “Probably because I cannot wait as long as him. He can continue to wait year after year in an almost hopeless situation, whereas I cannot.” Yi Mei was silent for a moment then said, “About three or four years ago, when Yi Chen won a big case, I went to celebrate with a few of his colleagues. He was drunk so I sent him back. When I helped him to clean after he vomited, he suddenly hugged me and kept asking, ‘Why won’t you come back? I am prepared to abandon everything, why do you still refuse to come back?'”
Yi Mei paused with a bitter smile: “If those words were not enough to let me give up hope…… you come with me.”
She took Mo Sheng into the study room, simply picked out a book, turned to a certain page and handed it to her: “This is something I’ve stumbled upon, not only in this book ……”
Mo Sheng stared at the poem written messily on the page of a book. From the illegible handwriting, it was possible to imagine that the mood of the person at the time of writing must be very irritable and dejected.
After the book was closed, she no longer paid attention to what Yi Mei was still saying.
In her mind, the melodious and laughing voice of a young girl seemed to travel from a distant time and space. “He Yi Chen, you still do not know my name! I am called Zhao Mo Sheng. Mo means silent and Sheng is a type of musical instrument (free reed mouth organ, with wooden pipes stuck into a gourd). My name even has an origin. It comes from Xu Zhimo’s poem …… ”
11.46: “When we were young, Yi Chen’s mother often carried me and said it would be good if she had a daughter while my mum beside her would say do you want to exchange the two kids. From young, Yi Chen had always been smart and sensible. My mother probably likes him more than me.” On the way back to the hospital, Yi Mei talked about past events, “Until now, I can still remember how auntie looked like, unfortunately ……”
“…… How did his parents die?”
Yi Mei shook her head and said: “I don’t really know since I was only nine years old at that time. I think it was an accident, uncle slipped and fell from the fourth floor. Auntie’s health was always poor so due to excessive grieving, she also passed away not long later.” Yi Mei seemed to have thought of something, paused for a while then said, “I heard my mum unintentionally mentioning it once that after auntie’s death, it was found she did not take the medicine in the drawer that she needed to take. Hence, it can also be considered suicide.”
“Suicide?!” Mo Sheng was astonished. At that time, Yi Chen was only ten years old so how could she have had the heart to do it!?
12.30: Yi Mei nodded her head:. “Auntie probably loved uncle very much.” She seemed to be thinking and continued to talk, “Actually, Yi Chen is very similar to auntie ……”
While talking, they reached the hospital. They met the nurse, who knew Yi Mei, at the hallway and she kindly said to her: “Your boyfriend just changed his IV and is sleeping again.”
Yi Mei thanked her and explained smilingly: “He is my brother.”
When they were at the door, Yi Mei suddenly gave everything in her hands to Mo Sheng: “You take them in so I won’t go in la.”
There were not many things, yet Mo Sheng felt these things in her hands were too heavy for her to hold.
“Mo Sheng.” Yi Mei said, “I did not lose to you, but I lost to him.”
Mo Sheng saw her gradually walking away, but she was unable to say anything to make her stay.