Our Cheng Zheng finally makes a bold move in revealing his feelings. We’ve seen what both leads feel about each other so how would dear Yun Jin respond?
As some of you may know, You Are Still Here has 2 versions in circulation. One is the original which I’m translating and the other is the revised edition that has roughly the same plot but follows a more complex timeline with additional scenes. Most of us who have read both versions feel that the original version, despite its deficiencies, is nonetheless the better one. Since this is the original online text, it has some missing pieces here and there. But Peanuts will fill in the gaps in accordance with the original published text. Thanks, Peanuts!
Naturally, Su Yun Jin was oblivious to Cheng Zheng’s internal turmoil. She was consumed with worry over her father’s health; he had liver disease and was deteriorating day by day. His condition was so bad that he had significant weight loss and couldn’t even teach anymore. When she had spoken to her mother over the phone, the sniffling on the other end caused Yun Jin’s heart to sink even deeper.
Yun Jin had asked to return home to visit her father but her mother had choked back her sobs and refused. She reasoned that it was during the critical examination period and Yun Jin should focus on acing it.
Yun Jin was despondent. Not only was she unable to be by her father’s side during his time of need, she wasn’t even able to boast good results to cheer him up. She was a complete failure!
After the phonecall, she felt restless during the evening self-revision session. She couldn’t pinpoint if it was bodily discomfort or heartache. Suddenly, she felt a gush of warmth between her thighs. She had forgotten it was that time of the month again.
She forced herself to concentrate until the break when she then fished out a sanitary pad. However, she was annoyed that her entire uniform didn’t have a pocket large enough to hide the pad to make it less conspicuous. She then had a brilliant idea! She stuffed the pad within the pages of a textbook before heading straight for the ladies.
As her head was bent low and she was in such a mad hurry, she didn’t see where she was going and bumped head-on into someone at the classroom exit.
“Su Yun Jin! Are you in a rush to reincarnate or what?”
When she heard the familiar sound of Cheng Zheng’s annoying voice, she felt even more woozy. She desperately wanted to pass him but he deliberately blocked her path.
“Woaaah look at you. You look so pale. Did you see something unclean?”
“Could you step aside? I need to go to the ladies.”
“Why are you carrying your textbook to the toilet?!”
Yun Jin’s face became even paler. Without responding, she managed to slip past him through the gap between him and the door.
Cheng Zheng saw that something was up and snatched the textbook.
“You’re so weird. Who brings a textbook to the toilet? You must …” He hadn’t even finished speaking when Yun Jin lunged wildly at him, startling him. He utilised his height to his advantage and deftly avoided her. Alas, Yun Jin was set on getting her book back and with both of them grabbing at it, the innocent book on idioms fell onto the floor dramatically and a white pack fell out from between the pages.
Cheng Zheng stared at the object dumbfounded for a full five seconds as Yun Jin stared unwaveringly at him. Shocked, embarrassed, furious, coupled with all the indignation she had suffered and suppressed all this while, plus the bodily discomfort she was experiencing and the worry she had for her father … all the negative emotions erupted in her like a volcano. She slowly bent over to pick up her sanitary pack, dusted the dirt off and right before everyone’s eyes, smashed it right into Cheng Zheng’s face and yelled “ Here, if you want it so bad I’ll give it to you!”
The classroom was stunned into a deafening silence.
When Cheng Zheng finally came to his senses, that poor packet had already slid down his chiseled nose and past his slightly parted lips and had fallen onto the floor a second time. The perpetrator had already fled the scene with the speed of an athlete.
Acting on impulse, Cheng Zheng picked it up and raced after her.
Yun Jin wasn’t heading to the ladies but to the female dormitories. As it was located a distance away, Cheng Zheng was able to catch up to her midway. He grabbed firmly at her sleeves, forcing her to stop. Yun Jin levelled a look at him breathlessly with messy hair and a tearstained face.
Cheng Zheng was taken aback by her tears. He didn’t know why he had chased after her but he had felt that he should say something. Or rather, he must! But with her only standing mere centimetres away with tears coursing down her face, he was at a complete loss for words. After wrecking his brains over an agonizing period, he managed to eke out “… This .. Uh … I hear … You girls can’t undergo strenuous physical activity sometimes else you’ll have stomach cramps…”
Yun Jin shook her head, completely aghast at the mad person in front of her. Her tears flowed even faster and more furiously.
“Cheng Zheng, what do you want from me?” She was now a much calmer than earlier. She was thoroughly exhausted from both trying to recall an instance when she had offended him and being extremely tolerant of his ways. She was puzzled as to why he was so relentless.
“Why … Did you turn around and look at me in the hallway back then but later act as though you’ve never seen me? Tell me, why?!” In the heat of the moment, Cheng Zheng blurted out the question that had been tormenting him all along.
Yun Jin had no idea what he was saying. “I’ve never met you prior to being classmates!”
How is it that one had obsessed over a person but the latter had felt nothing in return? Cheng Zheng had never encountered a situation like this before. He had seen with his own eyes that she had glanced backwards that day. If she had not seen him, who could she have been looking at?
As it was their evening self-revision session, there was no one else on the pathway. The glow from the streetlamps elongated their shadows. A night breeze blew past ever so often, swirling up fallen leaves with a soft rustle that did nothing to hide their quickened breathing from all the running.
Yes Cheng Zheng, what is it you want?, he thought to himself. Before his brain could come up with an answer, his lips had already landed on her eyelids. He kissed her tears away before moving on to her lips, clumsily twisting either way. Only when his inner thigh sent him signals of pain did he pull back.
Yun Jin wrestled free from his grasp and forcefully wiped her lips. She was in disbelief. She had no idea what to say in such an awkward situation and could only think of continuing on her way back.
This time, Cheng Zheng didn’t chase after her. He stared as her figure grew smaller in the distance before saying “Yun Jin, I don’t want anything. I just want you to notice me.”
He wasn’t sure if she heard him but he felt liberated!
When he returned to class, he was met with curious stares including that of Zi Yi. Zi Yi slung his arm around Cheng Zheng’s shoulders and asked in a low voice “Bro, you didn’t sock her in the face or anything right?”
“What nonsense!” Cheng Zheng smacked his arm off his shoulder and couldn’t be bothered with such a lame query. Zi Yi smiled dryly before saying “Pardon my saying this but don’t take it to heart. Any guy would feel embarrassed in such a situation.”
“Mind your own business!” Cheng Zheng smiled as he strolled to his seat. He was basking in his reverie and couldn’t stop thinking of Yun Jin’s sweet lips. As his thoughts and heart were elsewhere, he was oblivious to the looks of pity his classmates were sending his way.
Zi Yi mumbled behind him “This fellow must be under some dark voodoo. He was humiliated by some country bumpkin yet he’s smiling so radiantly. He can’t have been angered till he lost his marbles right?”
Even when self-revision session concluded, Su Yun Jin did not make a reappearance. When the teacher on duty came to take attendance, Mo Yu Hua covered for her by reporting her unwell.
Cheng Zheng stared at the empty seat in front of him and couldn’t calm his wildly beating heart all night.