I listened to this cute and short radio drama and like it enough to also read the short story. When I told bongsd about it, she requested me to translate it into English since she can’t find a Vietnamese translated version. Both of us are a fan of this author’s dry and cold humor. Hence, I painstakingly translated the short story as well as the radio drama to give a more complete story. I even added a few words of my own which I think you should be able to spot, LOL.
A story about a sick cat and a jerk especially to thank bongsd who has helped me tremendously in screen capping Boss & Me:) She generously asked me to share this adorable short story with all of you so do you like it? Since we’ve been serving gourmet meal, I feel a change in diet is needed so I am serving you fast food:P It is a bit too short but still very sweet and funny so don’t miss it. The song is also nice and cute.
UPDATE: Lidge found the Viet translation for bongsd so I did this translation for nothing:( But bongsd said if her search skill isn’t poor then my blog’s readers will not get to enjoy this short story:P
If you want to listen to the radio drama: http://www.ximalaya.com/1346706/sound/2189146
Xin Xin: Heehee, I’ve finished engraving – Cheng Yan & Yu Xin Xin.
Cheng Yan: Yu Xin Xin, what are you doing?
Xin Xin: Nothing.
Cheng Yan: Yu Xin Xin, don’t you know that wutong trees are protected trees?
Xin Xin: Cheng Yan, I…I like you. We….we…can we date?
Cheng Yan: Sorry, I don’t date.
Sorry, I don’t date….Sorry, I don’t date….
(Ringing of mobile phone, waking her up)
Xin Xin: Hello!
Friend: Xin Xin, it is Lulu’s birthday today so let’s go out to celebrate tonight.
Xin Xin: Don’t talk about going out. My mum has just imposed a curfew on me. If I am not home by 10pm, she gonna beat me up.
Friend: What did you do to make her angry?
Xin Xin: Why would I make her angry? I’ll be very happy if she stops making me go on blind dates.
Friend: Then you aren’t coming tonight?
Xin Xin: Aiya, I am not going. Wish Lulu happy birthday for me. I’ll give her the birthday present later. My mum ordered me to go home for dinner tonight.
Yu Xin Xin is 25 years old and has worked for two years after graduation. She has been forced to go on blind dates no less than ten times. It is because members of her family such as her father, mother, brother and sister-in-law are ‘poisoned’ by those popular match-making programs on tv, so they decided to use her as a guinea pig. Is she not young anymore?
Yu Xin Xin’s mum tells her that their next door neighbor, although a year older than her and doesn’t look as good as her, got married two years after graduation to a handsome university lecturer. Also, another neighbor who is two years younger than her but is married with a 2 years old kid! Yu Xin Xin questions in her heart, whether the only path in life for a woman is marriage and give birth? Since she doesn’t have any support at home, she dares not argue with her mum and can only resist in silence.
Sister-in-law: What do you think of this?
Brother: Not bad, but don’t you think he is a bit short?
Sister-in-law: Ya, the height should be at least 180 cm to match Xin Xin. Hey, Xin Xin, where are you going?
Xin Xin: My colleague just called and said I need to finish the project I am involved in so I am going back to the office….. Mum, I am going back to the office.
Mum: Hey, wait. Yu Xin Xin, did you listen to what I just said? Later, your Auntie Man Ying will be visiting us. Do you still remember her?
Xin Xin: Aiya, I really has something on.
Mum: You can’t go even though you’ve something on. Your Auntie Man Ying looked after you when you were a kid. She lived in a foreign country for more than 10 years. It is not often that she comes back so am I unreasonable in asking you to meet her?
Xin Xin: Can’t I meet her on another day?
Mum: Do you think you are the leader of the country who needs appointment to meet? Sit down! Auntie Man’s son will also be coming. You used to play together as kids so you should stay back to meet him. You are so blessed if he takes a fancy to you. Your Auntie’ Man’s son is…Hubby, which university did Cheng Yan graduate from?
Dad: Yale University.
Mum: Yes, yes, Yale University. He is good looking and highly educated. After he returned to the country, he set up his own business and it is flourishing. Whereas what kind of university did you attend? I’m embarrassed to tell Auntie Man Ying. Work wise, after two years, you’ve only been promoted to be a little supervisor.
Xin Xin: Mum, am I your biological child?
Mum: Don’t argue. Sit still, I’ll go and wash the dishes first.
(Ringing of mobile phone)
Xin Xin: What? You are injured? I’ll come over immediately, so wait for me. Mum, my friend had an accident so I need to go. I can’t meet Mr. Yale today. If there is a chance, I’ll meet him next time. I am going….
Mum: Hey, Yu Xin Xin.
Brother: Mum, I remembered that Cheng Yan seemed to have rejected Xin Xin before.
Dad: Then there is no hope.
Sister-in-law: Oh, poor Xin Xin.
Yu Xin Xin breathes a sigh of relief, then sees a shiny car parked in front of her. A plump lady and a handsome driver get down from the car.
Xin Xin thinks: Porsche, rich people ah.
Yu Xin Xin takes one glance, then turns around and pretends to be a passerby. The handsome driver looks at this passerby, frowns slightly and shouts: Yu Xin Xin…
Xin Xin grits her teeth, turns around and gives a fake smile: Huh…..are you calling me?
The handsome driver raises his eyebrows and gives a smile that is a lot more sincere than Xin Xin: Yes, where are you going?
Xin Xin: Walk around aimlessly. She is about to walk away but is stopped by a voice.
Auntie Man: Are you Xin Xin? You’ve changed a lot until I almost could not recognize you. How come you are leaving? I am Auntie Man. I have not seen you for a long time. Come and bring me to your home.
Xin Xin: Auntie…I..
Auntie Man: Let’s go.
Xin Xin: Auntie, this way please.
Auntie Man grabs hold of her hand and drags her back to the house. Is she sensitive, because she feels that the handsome driver has been staring at her back?
(Ringing of door bell)
Xin Xin’s mum is beaming from ear to ear when she looks at Auntie Man and Cheng Yan. But when she looks at her own daughter, she still doesn’t look like a real mum.
Mum: Oh, both of you’ve arrived. Are you tired from travelling? Xin Xin, quickly go and make some tea for Auntie Man.
Sister-in-law: Xin Xin, I’ll help you…….Xin Xin, that handsome guy is very good looking, right? Do you want to try to get him again?
Xin Xin: Sister-in-law!!!
Sister-in-law: He is really handsome, mixed-blood, right?
Xin Xin: Mixed blood my foot, at most mixed the blood of north and south China.
Sister-in-law: Oh, his mother is from the south, no wonder Auntie Man has such youthful and delicate skin. At night, I must apply milk mask.
Someone says from behind her: I can drink coffee.
Xin Xin: Sorry, my house doesn’t have coffee.
Cheng Yan: Then, plain water will do.
Xin Xin pours a glass of water for him but he says: I only drink water around 20 degree, this is too hot.
Xin Xin: Okay, wait a minute. (Is this fellow trying to cause trouble?)
Xin Xin suppresses her annoyance and gets a bottle of water from the refrigerator to give to him. The other party shakes his head and says: This is certainly too cold, so drinking it will hurt my stomach.
Xin Xin: You are so troublesome!
Usually Xin Xin behaves like a sick cat but once she is offended, she’ll lose her temper.
Mother Yu heard what she just said and chastises her: Yu Xin Xin, how can you speak like this to little Yan? Don’t you know how to be polite and courteous to your guest!??
Xin Xin is on the verge of tears when the gentleman beside her speaks up: Auntie, it is all right. When Xin Xin and I are together, I will slowly teach her…..
Mother Yu and Xin Xin are both stupefied!!!
Mum: What do you mean?
Cheng Yan gives a gentle smile and says: Auntie, Xin Xin and I are not young anymore. Since, both of us have feelings for each other, I intend – if you have no objection, I’ll marry Xin Xin by the end of the year, okay?
Both mother and daughter say simultaneously.
Mum: No objection.
Xin Xin: I object. Are you out of your mind???
Mother Yu stares dagger at her daughter and says: Shut up!
Then she turns and smiles at Cheng Yan to say: Little Yan, why don’t you go outside and take a sit, as I’ve something to say to my daughter.
Cheng Yan smiles and replies: Of course..
Mum: What did you just say?
Sick cat lowers her head to reply: Nothing……
Mum: Do you agree?
Xin Xin: I don’t agree.
Mum: Do you want to kill me?
Xin Xin:…….Mum, I am not your biological daughter, right?
Mum: Yes, I found you on a ship. In order to repay my kindness for bringing you up, you’ve to agree.
Xin Xin: ……
Xin Xin is dragged by her mum to go outside. In this chaotic day, Xin Xin has become engaged, bringing more chaos into her life.
They were a couple who grew up as childhood friends. Then the girl chased after the guy but the guy said sorry, I don’t date. Hence, they parted ways. Later, the guy said I’ll marry you. What is happening???
Xin Xin: Cheng Yan, are you there? Fine, pretend you are dead. What are you up to? Just because you look handsome, went overseas before and have your own business, you think you are a big shot? (Oh no, what did I write?) Anyway, I’ll not agree to what you told my mum today. Are you there? After you’ve read this, reply quickly.
Cheng Yan: I was busy just now so didn’t notice your messages. What is the matter?
Xin Xin: You did that purposely?
Cheng Yan: No. Do you’ve time tomorrow?
Xin Xin: Why?
Cheng Yan: I want to ask you out on a date.
Friend: I truly feel Cheng Yan is very good. Didn’t you have a crush on him during high school?
Xin Xin: Yes, I did have a crush on him. I was even crazy enough to confess my love to him.
Friend: Because he rejected you before, now you want to tell him a good horse will never return to graze on grass it has already passed by?
Xin Xin: No, I want to tell him even if I am a horse, I’ll choose my grass.
After 2 weeks, whenever Xin Xin recalls this melodramatic turn of event, she will be overwhelmed by emotions. She’ll endure until she finishes work. She is at the office’s entrance and wants to call her best friend out to have a big meal to give vent to her emotions. Then the phone rings with a familiar number, it is from someone who has been calling frequently these days. Whenever he calls, he’ll either ask if she has finished work or got out of bed. After that, he’ll stay silent. If Xin Xin is not scared of her mum, she would have undoubtedly put this boring guy on the blacklist.
No matter how busy Cheng Yan is, he’ll still call Xin Xin twice a day. He knows she’ll take a long time to pick up the phone so he’ll flip through his documents to wait patiently. Finally, when she picks up the phone.
He’ll smilingly asks: Have you finished work for the day yet?
Xin Xin: …..
Cheng Yan: When can we see each other?
Xin Xin: …..
Cheng Yan: Since you’ve no idea, then I’ll go to your place to pick you up tonight?
Xin Xin: …..
Cheng Yan: Okay, see you tonight.
He puts down the phone, smiles and continues to flip through his documents.
On Xin Xin’s end, “I want to exterminate him.” No, if he really wants to be with me, I’ll seize the opportunity to ‘do’ it with him…..heehee….to ‘do’ it with him.
Yes, to ‘do’it with him.
On the same night, that handsome gentleman Cheng Yan picks up Xin Xin to go to his residence in the city center. He had just returned from aboard but has already set up a base? While looking at his luxurious apartment building, she compares it to her sparrow’s nest and fiercely curses the rich in her heart.
She is about to ask him why did he bring her here? But he is already offering her a glass of red wine. Xin Xin accepts the drink and wants to tell him to say what he wants to say quickly but he is already giving her a toast. Xin Xin stares at him and wants to ask him to say them now but he offers her another glass of red wine. In her heart, Xin Xin says ‘I am not afraid of you’. Hence, she drinks them, one glass after another.
Cheng Yan: Xin Xin, come in. Do you want to watch Legend of Lu Zhen?
Xin Xin: No, I don’t like to watch that drama.
Cheng Yan: Do you want to drink red wine?…….Cheers……Do you like the food tonight?
Xin Xin: Not bad.
Cheng Yan: One more glass?
Xin Xin: Okay.
Cheng Yan: Xin Xin, one more glass?
Xin Xin: Mr Cheng, by bringing a single girl to your apartment at night and making her drink so much wine, what are you up to?
Cheng Yan: Xin Xin, you are drunk.
Xin Xin: I am not drunk. Cheng Yan, I tell you I can drink a lot without getting drunk. Quickly, pour more for me.
Cheng Yan: You are really drunk so don’t drink anymore. Be good.
Xin Xin: Who do you think you are? Do you think that my mum made me marry you, I’ll marry you?
Cheng Yan: Don’t you want to marry me?
Xin Xin: When I confessed my love to you, didn’t you tell me to go away? Fine, I went away. Now you want to ask me to come back but sorry, I’ve gone faraway.
Cheng Yan: Xin Xin, I didn’t ask you to go away.
Xin Xin: Yes, you didn’t ask me to go away but you said you don’t want to date me. That is similar to asking me to go away. Later, you even went overseas. Even though, you were gone, you still haunt my dream. Why are you in my dream? Cheng Yan, I hate you very much.
Cheng Yan: I know….I know….
Xin Xin: Cheng Yan, why did you reject me previously?
Cheng Yan: I…..
Xin Xin: Cheng Yan, why did you come back? I’ve already forgotten about you. Why did you still come back? I hate you very much, sob sob…..Cheng Yan, what are you doing? Are you trying to bully me?
Cheng Yan: Xin Xin, isn’t it good that I came back?
Xin Xin: Not good.
Cheng Yan: Isn’t it good being with me?
Xin Xin: Not good.
Cheng Yan: Isn’t it good that we are getting married?
Xin Xin: Not good, not good, not good….
Cheng Yan: Yu Xin Xin, do you still like me?
Xin Xin: Cheng Yan, don’t try to make me confess. This time, I definitely won’t be the first to say I like you.
Cheng Yan: Then I’ll say first. Yu Xin Xin, I like you so can we date?
Xin Xin: Cheng Yan, have you gone crazy or am I drunk?
Cheng Yan: Xin Xin, I like you. Can we be together?
Xin Xin: Cheng Yan, I warn you. If you still say you want to be together with me, I…I’ll ‘eat’ you.
Cheng Yan: Who taught you to say that?
Xin Xin: Heehee, my friend. Heehee, how? Are you scared?
Cheng Yan: Yu Xin Xin, when I wasn’t here all these years, what kind of friend have you made?
Xin Xin: Why you bother about me?
Cheng Yan: Yu Xin Xin, you said that so don’t regret later.
Xin Xin: Yes, I said that, so what? Hey, Cheng Yan….Cheng Yan….behave yourself….
Cheng Yan: Yu Xin Xin, shut up.
In the end, Xin Xin really ‘did’ it with the handsome gentleman Cheng Yan, thoroughly and brutally. The early morning sun is shining on young master Cheng who is slowly putting on his fine quality business shirt. But it can’t cover the love marks on his body. Thus, making Xin Xin who is still dizzy and hiding under the quilt, flabbergasted……
(Ringing of mobile phone)
Xin Xin: Hello!
Mum: Yu Xin Xin, you didn’t go home last night?
Xin Xin: Mum….mum…
Mum: You still know I am your mum? Where are you now?
Xin Xin: I….
Cheng Yan: Auntie, Xin Xin is at my place. Yesterday, I invited her to my place and it was late so she slept at my place. It is my mistake for not informing you and making you worry.
Mum: Oh, little Yan, it is you. I am not worried anymore knowing Xin Xin is with you. Have a good time. Bye.
Cheng Yan: Goodbye, auntie.
Xin Xin: That……I didn’t make them, right?
Cheng Yan turns around, glances at her and says softly: It was my first time.
Xin Xin: It was also my first time but the problem is why it feels like I was the one who started it? Obviously, he was the one who got me drunk!!! Moreover, I’ve forgotten all about the specific process that happened last night. Therefore, can’t say precisely who started it!?
Friend: This is a hard question to answer. Wait, I’ll get an expert sister Mou, who is proficient in all kinds of H knowledge.
Sister Mao Mao: Both of you bad girls, long time didn’t come to chat with me.
Friend: Sister Mao Mao, Xin Xin has something to consult you.
Sister Mao Mao: What is the matter?
Xin Xin: Mao Mao, if we ‘did’ it when we were both drunk, who should take responsibility? The guy is more advantageous, right?
Sister Mao Mao: NO, the girl!
Xin Xin: ……(Author: Hey sick cat, you asked the wrong person╮ (╯_╰) ╭)
Sister Mao Mao: Hehehe, who’ve you forced yourself on? Tell me, tell me…
Xin Xin: I didn’t ‘force’ myself on him.
Sister Mao Mao: Aiya, you’ve already done it so why you care who started it? Happy? Ecstatic? Did you feel like you were in heaven?
Xin Xin: …..Hell.
Sister Mao Mao: Impossible, according to my research—-Aha, that person is very strong, right? Heehee! In this case, the first time is more painful but in the future you’ll experience ecstasy, heehee.
Xin Xin who is blushing scarlet: Sorry, I went to the wrong chat room.
Mum: Yu Xin Xin, there is no more soya sauce so go and get me a bottle.
Xin Xin: Okay.
Sister-in-law: What is wrong?
Xin Xin: Nothing.
Mum: Hey, Xin Xin, you’ve not gone out yet? Go quickly, don’t let little Yan wait long.
Xin Xin: Mum…
Mum: Little Yan, have you waited long?
Cheng Yan: No, auntie, how are you?
Mum: I am well. Yu Xin Xin, quickly come over.
Xin Xin blushes when she meets young master Cheng who is immaculately dressed like a gentleman but with a black heart. A well-dressed beast, an absolute beast!!!
Cheng Yan: I can’t contact you recently so I asked auntie to ask you to come out.
Mum: Aiyo, already engaged, why you still call me auntie? Little Yan, call me mum.
Cheng Yan smiles politely and asks: Okay, mum. Can I bring Xin Xin out for dinner?
Xin Xin: My family gonna have dinner soon.
Mum: Yes, why cannot? I didn’t cook dinner for her so both of you go and have dinner.
Xin Xin who is being pushed out, looks at the sky and laments, mum should have left her on the ship.
Cheng Yan smiles warmly and says: Let’s go.
Xin Xin: …..Cheng Yan, let me bite you, okay?
He raises his eyebrows slightly, lifts up his hand and says: If there is blood, you’ve to lick them clean.
Belly black (outwardly kind but inwardly evil / two-faced) male ah. The sick cat takes a bite and it starts to bleed. Ss! Ss! – shallow down, raise the head and wipe the mouth.
Xin Xin: Is it painful?
Cheng Yan: Yes, happy now?
Xin Xin: Yes, happy. Let’s go and have dinner.
Cheng Yan follows from behind, smiles and says: You are still the same, have not changed at all.
Xin Xin: Cheng Yan, don’t you know how to be more articulate? At this time, you should say something like you are getting prettier or gentler.
Cheng Yan: Hahahaha…..
Xin Xin: Cheng Yan, stop laughing.
Cheng Yan: Xin Xin!
Xin Xin: What?
Cheng Yan: Let’s get married!
Xin Xin: Huh!
Due to the pushing by their families, after 2 months of dating, they start to prepare for their wedding which is 4 days after Valentine’s Day. The couple tries on their wedding dress today. A staff curiously asks, “Mr. Cheng, the scar on your hand…..”
The bridegroom smiles warmly and says lovingly, “It is nothing. SM by my wife.”
All the staff: “…..”
Xin Xin in her wedding gown, comes out of the fitting room: “…..”
On the wedding day, the bride tells the bridegroom: “Unless, you tell me 100 times I love you within 30 seconds, otherwise I’ll not agree to marry you.”
Mother Yu is furious and all the guests jeer.
The bride is waiting in anticipation as to how he gonna finish saying 100 times I love you.
Even if he fails (Xin Xin is certain he’ll fail because she tried unsuccessfully before), at least……she gets to hear him say I love you to her.
The bridegroom thinks for a second and records with his mobile phone: “I love you.” Then he keeps replaying it….
The guests roar with laughter.
The humiliated bride runs away in tears and no longer believe in love ~~~~(>_<)~~~~
Isn’t sick cat’s love story baffling? When she was in her teen, she shyly confessed her love to that jerk but got rejected. But when he has now returned, he wants to marry her immediately, if this is not baffling then what is?
Xin Xin: Aiya, such a tiring and tortuous honeymoon.
Cheng Yan: Wifey, I’ll cook you dinner so what do you want to eat?
Xin Xin: Sweet and sour fish, vinegar braised pork and home style tofu.
Cheng Yan: Okay.
While watching tv, she finally plucks up the courage to ask him.
Xin Xin: Hey, Cheng Yan.
Cheng Yan: What’s up?
Xin Xin: Tell me why did you marry me?
Young master Cheng Yan does not even bother to turn his head to answer: Because I love you.
Xin Xin: As if I believe you! Didn’t you previously say you don’t like me?
Young master Cheng turns around, glances at her and says eloquently: If we started dating so young, it is easy to get into trouble.
Xin Xin: …..
Young master Cheng continues to slice the vegetables and says: If I made you pregnant in high school, your mum will kill me.
Xin Xin: ….You are supposed to be my mum’s biological son.
Cheng Yan laughs and says: Then we are having an incestuous relationship. Uh, If it is with you, I don’t mind.
Xin Xin: You drop dead.
Cheng Yan: Haha, if I am dead, who’ll give you happiness?
Xin Xin: Cheng Yan, what are you doing? Are you still cooking?
Cheng Yan: Cook what? Eat you first!!!
Xin Xin: Cheng Yan!!! Indeed, beautiful and pure love only exists in novel!!!
Cute song from the radio drama with cute cartoon
Same cute song from the radio drama with cute Hu Ge & Ariel