Fangirling Chinese Novels

Wipe Clean After Eating (吃干抹净): Chapter 11


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Thank you very much to atsu for translating this chapter for me. She did it a few months ago and after that had gone AWOL. She may have been scared away by the amount of work involved in translating, lol. Anyway, atsu has done a good job as she is proficient in Chinese as well as English. Atsu, if you are still lurking around and reading this, please come back and help me with more translations:)

There are a lot happenings in this chapter and you may even see shades of Shan Shan and Feng Teng in one of the incident:P Actually, I find this even more hilarious and interesting. Quickly go to read and you be the judge:P

Chapter 11: Airport Pick Up (translated by atsu & edited by peanuts)

On a very small and narrow wooden bridge, I hang onto Lu Jun’s arm as we saunter forward. On the opposite side, Sen Yu Ming is holding a beautiful woman by the waist as he walks in our direction. In such a small world, you often run into the most undesirable people.

Sen Yu Ming says, “Get out of the way!”

Lu Jun says, “You get out of the way!”

Sen Yu Ming gestures to the beauty at his side and says proudly, “I’m in a hurry. My fiance and I are on our way to the church to get married.”

Lu Jun points to me and says even more proudly, “We are in even more of a hurry. We are on our way to the hospital to have our first child!”

I look down only to see that my stomach has grown large, round like a pregnant woman. A wave of soreness courses through my abdomen, as if something wants to rush out between my legs.

Sen Yu Ming and his beauty immediately step aside, nodding obsequiously, “You guys are more urgent. You guys are more urgent.”

I smile victoriously, but then for whatever reason, my stomach suddenly swells as if something is going to rush out. I collapse with great difficulty on the bridge, crying out, “I can’t do this! I’m having the baby now!”

Amidst the pain, I open my eyes only to find that the intense pain is actually because of bathroom urgency! Ehhh…

After taking a trip to the restroom, I feel as if my whole body is light and free. Sometimes when you have to go, you have to go!

Thinking about the dream, I have a thought: Based on Lu Jun’s status and looks, he is a good deal better compared to Sen Yu Ming’s qualities. If I take Lu Jun to my class reunion, everyone would admire him jealously and nobody would bring up the fact that Sen Yu Ming had dumped me.

My eyes begin to sparkle and immediately, I hustle up to the general manager’s office, planning to use all of my abilities to convince him to accompany me to the class reunion.

But there isn’t even a shadow in the general manager’s office. I find out from a co-worker that while I was recharging on the sofa, he had boarded the plane and is now mid-flight, and that he wouldn’t return from his business trip until the 8th.

Darn! The class reunion is on the evening of the 7th, and you don’t get back until the 8th. What a way to pick a time!

Close to the end of my working hours, Lu Jun sends me a text message: Open the book cabinet in the office.

I open the cabinet suspiciously and discover that there’s a pretty bag. Inside the bag is an ornate box, and inside the box is a beautiful skirt.

It is love at first sight. Although there’s the old saying that beggars can’t be choosers, this time, being the beggar is definitely worth it!

If Lu Jun gave me an expensive, flashy skirt that would be the envy of everyone, I would treasure it dearly. But I would put it away carefully and wouldn’t wear it. However, this light blue, knee-length skirt with its delicate and refreshing design and its simple appearance, it can still showcase the girl-next-door without being overly princess-y. I love it.

I take the skirt and head home happily. I try it on when I get home and it fits as if it was made for me.

Viewing myself in the mirror, I begin to realize that Lu Jun’s taste is the best of all.

Before going to bed, I think and ponder for a while before I finally decide to give Lu Jun a call.

The phone rang three times before it is connected, and the leisurely voice directly asks, “Is there something going on?”

Caught off-guard, I mutter, “How did you know there is something?”

His tone is just as confident as before, “Then you would make a long- distance call for nothing?”

I am flabbergasted. That’s right! I think and ponder over whether to make the call because of the long-distance call fee.

To save my phone bill, I cut to the chase and ask, “General manager, can you come back a day earlier?”

He sounds amused, his happy tone of voice mixed with a bit of playfulness, “What, I just left today and you already miss me?”

In order to please him, I hurriedly answer, “Yes! I promise to cook for you. Can you come back on the 7th?”

He replies casually, “I really want to taste your cooking.”

I grind my teeth and continue to flatter him, “Alright, I will cook for you. Can you come back on the 7th?”

He continues, carefree, “Also, the rooms in my house need to be cleaned.”

I grind my teeth once more and give in again, “Alright, I will clean your house. Now, you should be able to come back on the 7th, right?”

Lu Jun: “Nope.”

I: “…..”

Can somebody pinch me?

Tonight, in order to persuade Lu Jun to return a day earlier, I put aside my dignity and ego and even paid the expensive long-distance telephone fee. Hanging onto my phone, I tearfully relate my sorrowful and tragic experiences, and how I was dumped by my jerk of an ex-boyfriend, how I want to look better at the class reunion, and how I need someone who is accomplished and handsome like him to restore my dignity…..

After I finished my tearful revelation, I ask him hopefully, “General manager, now can you come back on the 7th?”

“I see…” he seems thoughtful and after a brief silence, says seriously, “Then I definitely can’t come back.”

I quiver, “You’re joking, right?”

He is serious, “I never joke.”

In the end, all of my efforts were for naught! In the spur of the moment, I decide to save my expenses and hang up the phone!

Usually, under such doleful and sentimental happenings, 99% of people would become sympathetic. But he, Lu Jun, happens to be the 1%!

My heart aches, my head hurts, I’m sorrowful, I waver… the whole slew of negative feelings cause me to almost have a breakdown.

For the next few days, I continue to go to work, and everyday I still beg Ai Li for mercy, begging her to allow me to continue to hide away. But that bad- tempered girl is determined and never leaves me any room for retort.

Just as I prepare to be the laughingstock of the class reunion and the center of gossip, as I prepare to die before the treacherous Sen Yu Ming and his girl, Lu Jun comes down from the heavens! (airplane)

I never thought that he, Big Boss Lu would keep his word. Since he couldn’t come back on the 7th, to return on the 6th, shortening the seven days trip to a five days one.

Under the influence of such a great change in feelings, my well-tested theory proves true: You can’t take that fox Lu Jun’s words literally ah!

4:00 in the afternoon on the 6th , I, whom Lu Jun has appointed as the general manager’s secretary, head to the airport to pick him up.

I especially ask my co-workers and the previous secretaries, all drove the company car to the airport. Thus I begin to fret. Sen Yu Ming taught me how to drive but because I am lazy, I didn’t take the driving test. Hence, initially I wanted to take a taxi to the airport. But the manager from the Resources Department told me that since the company provides a car and if I won’t use it, it would be my problem. Thus, I would have to pay the taxi fare myself. Therefore, I decide to ask her for the car keys.

Having not driven for half a year, it feels strange but I strictly follow all of the traffic rules, keeping the right speed and distance, carefully reminding myself to stop at the red and to drive on the green. Finally, I arrive safely after half an hour later at a place 100 meters from the airport. Perfect timing.

I see the airport up ahead and breathe a sigh of relief. The car stops at the red light ahead and although I calmly await the light to reach 0, I lose my calm the instant I see the man and woman by the side of the road.

He is almost the same as before, still tall and inscrutable, still fine featured and mature. The only thing that is different is that the woman beside him is no longer me. That’s right, only the graceful lady nestles up against him like a small bird can match up to his aura, isn’t that right?

Because the car has black windows, so I can see him, but he is unable to see me. However, just briefly, as he raises his hand, I see a silver object. That old watch is not very bright, but it pricks my eyes and makes them sore. He must have worn that watch for about four years now? Four years ago, I was still a college freshman, and he was just a young man who had just started taking over the family business. I remember on my 19th birthday, he used his first salary to buy silver couple watches. We put them on for each other, as seriously as if we were exchanging rings in a church.

I had long taken off my watch and stored it in a deep corner of my closet but he still wears it on his wrist. Could it be that every time he lifts his hand to check the time, he would feel just a tad bit sorry for me?

“Dong dong dong,” the sudden sound catches me off guard. I turn around, surprise to see a traffic control police knocking at my window!

I can’t be this unlucky, right? Really, whatever I’m afraid of comes straight at me!

My heart pounding in my chest, I pull down the window, only to see that forty something years old policeman say without any expression, “Please get off the car, Miss.”

Due to the fact that I don’t have a license, I begin to panic as I hurriedly explain, “What makes you think I’m driving without a license?”

A look of understanding crosses the policeman’s face, “Miss, initially I didn’t know that you didn’t have a license, but now I can confirm the fact that you don’t have a license.”

I break out in cold sweat, my gaze dull as I ask, “Since you didn’t know that I don’t have a license, how come you asked me to get off the car earlier?”

The policeman answers seriously, “Because even though it’s no longer a red light, your car is still stopped here, which is blocking up the traffic in the back.”

My heart tugs in pain. This policeman had no intention of asking for my license. Well, as the saying goes, this is looking for trouble.

Thus, because I don’t have a license, the car and I are detained. I have to pay a two thousand dollar fine, this ridiculous price that can crush me!

At last, with no solution in sight, I call Lu Jun for help. He picks up immediately, his tone so gentle that it gives one goosebumps, “Up until now, I’ve waited for you for 33 minutes.”

I suddenly shiver, hurriedly I begin to repent seriously, “General manager, I didn’t do it on purpose. I can’t go to pick you up because I met some troubles on the road…”

He clenches his teeth a little, “Xia Ye, don’t tell me you got lost.”

My voice is full of flattery, “A little more serious than that. General manager, can you lend me some money?”

He is silent for a bit, then asks, “You hit someone with the car?”

“Not that serious,” I lower my voice and plead, “General manager, I really need two thousand dollars in cash…”

“Du du du.”

Without even waiting for me to finish, just as I said ‘two thousand dollars,’ he hangs up the phone!

Darn, it doesn’t mean I won’t return it! What kind of person is this?

At the detention center, I pick up my cell phone, conflicted. When Ai Li was at the pharmacy in the sales department, things were pretty tight, and besides that, this half year, I have borrowed quite some money from her. All of the times amassed together would be about a thousand dollars or so. How could I ask to borrow money from her now? Moreover, two thousand dollars is not a small sum ah……

If I call my mom for help, she’s famous for being miserly. Even if she pays on my behalf, when I go home, she would probably lecture me until my ears fall off, so I probably shouldn’t count on her…

I don’t really know my co-workers, and I don’t have their cell phone numbers either…

As for old classmates, besides Ai Li, after I was dumped by Sen Yu Ming, I retreated and didn’t keep in touch with anyone. If I contact anyone now to borrow two thousand dollars, nobody would even think to lend it to me!

After thinking about it for a long time, I couldn’t think of anyone to ask, what sadness!

Just as I am feeling lonely and pitiful, a fellow in a green hat walks over and tells me, “You can go, Miss.”

My eyes bug out in shock as I look appreciatively at this adorable public servant, tears swimming in my eyes.

The green hat fellow is scared by my expression and quickly points, “Don’t look at me like that. He paid the fine for you.”

My eyes follow his finger and see Lu Jun, carrying a suitcase and files, looking tired and weary but still very handsome!

After leaving the detention center, I suck up to him and offer to carry his suitcase and files. Then, I follow beside him, stars in my eyes.

I follow him carefully while asking sweetly, “General Manager, how did you know I was at the detention center?”

He seems hot, carrying his suit jacket in his hands, sweat pressed against his light grey shirt. He turns to me, looking at me as if I am an idiot, and asks me meticulously, “On your way to the airport, you didn’t crash into anyone and nobody crashed into you, but you need two thousand dollars in cash, and just by coincidence, driving without a license in this city is two thousand dollars. If you weren’t in the detention center, where else would you be?”

As I sigh over his super observational skills, I ask in surprise, “So you hung up in a hurry earlier because you knew where I was so you were in a rush to get to where I was? You were in such a rush that you are covered in sweat now?”

As if I call him on it, Lu Jun stops suddenly and then quickly picks up his steps and doesn’t answer me!

Sitting in the little car that has just been retrieved by Lu Jun, we arrive at his apartment complex. I put down his files and suitcase and is just about to leave.

Just as I turn around, he suddenly says, “I am hungry.”

In truth, I am by nature a very lazy person. But thinking of tomorrow night’s class reunion and how I need to use him as backing, and how he is both my boss and my moneylender, I very reluctantly enter the kitchen. As I turn around, I smile like a sweet and obedient little serving maid, daintily saying, “Alright, I will go shopping right now.”

“Wait,” as I am about to leave, he calls me.

Is there a change of plan? As I turn around, using my shining eyes to look at him, I ask him with a gentle voice, “What is it, general manager?”

He looks outside the window and tells me, “It’s almost dark outside. The wet market should be getting ready to close.”

I let out a sigh of relief, happily continuing the thread of conversation, “So I won’t go shopping. Should we go eat at a restaurant?”

“I am reminding you to hurry up. It’s best if you run.”

I: “…..”

34 thoughts on “Wipe Clean After Eating (吃干抹净): Chapter 11

  1. 😀 they are so funny couple… cant wait for the class reunion.. and thank you again

  2. Hahaha the last part had me lol-ing so hard. Thanks atsu and peanuts

  3. Thanks atsu and peanuts 🙂 hope atsu want translate againto help ms peanuts 😀 so we can read more Lu Jun wuhuu. Lu Jun so sweet want comeback earlier 🙂

    • Haha, Hanny, you are still following. I tut you cheated & finished reading google translate already lol? Last week I may post a new story which you can’t google translate:P

      • haha well i do cheat long time ago with google translate lol but everytime i read again still want read more i even try google translate again yesterday what happen when they go meet her ex bf lol seem never enough for Lu Jun hoho. Wow you have new story good peanuts i will be waiting ,haha why i can’t google translate there is no link in ssb to read ?

  4. Hahahhaa, i dieeeee of laughter. I can’t believe this couple, they’re so freeeeeaking funny. I love XY’s narration, so much humour.
    I like the part of the guy in green hat scared at her expression…LOL. And the last part, that killed me. LOL forever…..

  5. Oh, almost forgot. Thanks atsu and peanuts. Hugs and kisses…mmmmwah!!!

  6. ROFL… only her can have a dream like that.
    and the last part is so crazy. Looking forward to the reunion.
    Thank you both for sharing.

  7. hahahahaha… hilarious.. i love him so much!!!! *ups, of course after Yi Cheng dan Lu Li Cheng, hihi

    cant wait for the next chapter.. aiyoo.. what a mood booster la..

    thank youuuu for translating this hilarious novel..!

    • Haha, he is better than Feng Teng, right? I think WC has not acted in a comedy b4. If I’ve money I’ll adapt this into a drama & cast WC lol.

      • i’ll help you! haha.. so i have to work hard, earn money then adapt this novel into a drama.. but when i already save money, WC gets older.. LOLs *then my dream fails*

        eh.. just realize, yu cheng and lu li cheng = WC..

        Feng Teng? aaahh Shan2’s man? not my type *you know i have an extreme taste.. LOLs

  8. Funny! I was just thinking that I wanted to try my hand at translating a novel and wanted something relatively simple like this one! Perhaps i can start by translating one chapter to see how it goes? Let me know how I can help!

  9. Woah with the dream sequence… it seams that she subconsciously have already fallen to foxy Lu Jun’s trap 😛

    I always love their phone conversations since it always start with Xia Ye thinking that she could outsmart the fox (Lu Jun) and it always end with her belatedly realize that he one-up her again.. 😛 And the way Lu Jun answers seems like he is(definitely) flirting with her and she does not even notice since she is fixated with her ideas. Poor girl..

    This is really a fun read. Thanks for the update..I will try to be patient in waiting for the next one. (I’m really not good at it :P)

    • Well, I think Lu Jun will get the better of Xia Ye in most of the novel except next chapter so stay tune, lol. If I get a helper to translate with me, you may get faster update but after it finishes fast, you’ll feel sad:(

  10. Thank you peanuts. I’m actually not currently reading up on this novel or your recent posts. But I’m grateful for your hard work. You are much too prolific and productive. You write faster than I can find the time to read novels. Don’t you go on vacation, peanuts? Or do you do translation work on vacation too? 😛

    • You are welcome. In case you didn’t notice, I am not the only translator here. There are hoju, yingniang, lidge & hui3r which is why you’ve been under the wrong impression that I am so prolific & productive lol. I only translate a chapter or 2 a week.

      Yes, I love to go on vacation and I do that about twice a year. Haha, I don’t do any work during vacation. Ok, I’ll take your advice & go slow with the translation fr next week onward:P

      • I did realize there are multiple contributors, though I didn’t know the exact number until you listed them above. It’s just that you are quite diligent with your written replies too. And then there must be some research time to study accessories etc. of the series you write about too. Additional time to create/post pics, etc. ( My bosses would give me many additional projects to do if they see me posting more than 50 words a month on the internet. )

        Like Dree above, I wouldn’t mind helping with occasional translation too, but I do want to “share with someone else”. A bit afraid I might run into novels where some chapters might not be to my liking, making it hard to do or continue with the translation work.

  11. I like this novel. Can’t wait for next chapter :). Warm regards from Netherland

  12. LOL love this one…. XY is funnier than SS. Thank you for translating! Greetings from Los Angeles.

  13. omg.. i love this novel… great job at picking this novel~~~ *thumbs up*

  14. Can’t wait for this too to get together lol

  15. These two together are so funny hahaha.
    Thank you, atsu and peanuts~

  16. I’m sorry, but this young lady is an idiot

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