Fangirling Chinese Novels

Really, Really Miss You (很想很想你) – Chapter 23



I have a favour to ask of everyone.  By show of hands (comments), how many people read the song translations?  Are they helpful? Just nice to have?  I have tried to translate nearly every song that makes a proper appearance in the story, but do they add to your reading enjoyment? Just curious to see if  people would miss them if the lyric translations decreased. (Not saying that’s what I’m planning, but they are my greatest nemesis in this translation project… :p)

It’s confirmed where the insider information on Sheng Sheng is coming from.  One of my favourite “moves” by Toupai is in this chapter. So high profile!

Chapter 23 – Spicy Crispy-Skin Fish (1)

She heard the alert indicating there was a private message.

Lifting up her head, she saw the screen was being inundated with comment after comment of love declarations. The senior manager of Qiang Qing Ci’s YY channel was there, working continuously to maintain order. “Calm down, calm down. You can’t spam the screen on someone else’s channel, eh….. Alright, kids…… If you keep spamming, I’m going to have to come back tomorrow with gift in hand to apologize T T……” Her eyes seemed as if they were seeing everything in a blur, mainly because there were so many online users. If each person made even only one comment, there was no possible way to keep up.

“How come DaRen isn’t saying anything? ( ⊙ o ⊙) AH! Maybe he’s having a private chat session with Sheng Sheng?……”

“They must be private chatting…”

“What do you think they’re talking about?”

“I heard that they had their in person meet-up today????”

( ⊙ o ⊙)

( ⊙ o ⊙)

How did somebody know that???? I just got back to the school not that long ago, you know? T T

Gu Sheng was already starting to feel she could not hold up any longer. Suddenly, she remembered that her private message window was still flashing. She thought it might be her association president or Zou Diao’er or someone like that, but it unexpectedly turned out to be Toupai.

Toupai: My phone’s battery is dead, so I just dropped by here to say a quick hi.

Gu Sheng: ^^Okay.

Toupai disappeared from the channel very shortly after.

So many Toupai fans were still there. She truly was having a hard time digesting this all, and tearfully, she begged Zou Diao’er to take over for her. Inspired by his idol and god, Zou Diao’er immediately got onto his microphone, and Gu Sheng fled the scene right away. Indeed, getting to Toupai’s status had its disadvantages: everywhere you went, a group of kids would follow you around and, in an instant, they could flood the screen of someone else’s channel with comments…

Her mind in a whirl, she exited out of YY.

She began to organize the things she needed for class tomorrow. Geng Xiaoxing was sitting with a radiant smile on her face in front of her own desk, and seeing from the corner of her eye Gu Sheng climb down from the bed, she suddenly said into her headset microphone, “Sheng Sheng’s getting off her bed now.” When she finished saying this, she pulled her headset plug out of the jack to allow the audio to come through on her speakers, deliberately letting Gu Sheng listen in.

Jue Mei’s voice quickly came back through the computer speakers. “Hmm, Toupai’s gone off to take a shower. Those two are truly in sync with each other.”




Gu Sheng bared her teeth menacingly at Geng Xiaoxing, mouthing a silent threat: “You are so dead.”

Jue Mei Sha Yi’s voice was heard again shortly. “The video game promotional video we did the dubbing for was just released.”

Geng Xiaoxing put on her headphones again. “Let’s carry on. I type, you talk, though. Otherwise, Sheng Sheng will hear what I say…”



Fine. She was thin air.

However, Gu Sheng was still rather curious about that promotional video Jue Mei had mentioned. Large-scale type promotions such as this one usually generated extremely high-quality productions and were definitely worth collecting. And anyways… she remembered that Toupai had said he had participated in it as well. While she was opening up her computer, she cast a guilty glance at Geng Xiaoxing, who was enthusiastically rattling away on her keyboard.  A question suddenly popped into her mind that piqued her curiosity: Jue Mei Sha Yi had hung out in this online show business for many years now, so how was it that he ended up getting reined in by a girl from outside the entertainment circle?

This world was truly remarkable.


She switched on her computer again and headed over to Toupai’s Weibo page. Sure enough, an official video had just been posted.

Oh, so it was that video game.

She looked at the official channel of the game and saw that a series of couple-focused videos had been released.

It was truly a series.

Toupai had retweeted the one he had worked on. When she opened it up, she instantly heard the soul-stirring background music, a very desolate, sorrowful tune. An ink and wash painting gradually transformed into the story’s male and female leads whom Mo Qingcheng and Dou Dou Dou Bing had provided the voices for. Their two voices, coupled with images taken from the video game, created an atmosphere that was completely different from the fun, cheery setting of this afternoon.

From when the two leads first met to how they both grew to have feelings for one another to finally… their separation.

The character Toupai had voiced walked from the light into darkness.

The girl rushed after him and told the retreating outline of his back, “I will wait for you to come back.”

In the video, the man, his garments fluttering in the wind, gave a very light “mm.” Then, without turning to look back, he disappeared into the darkness.

The music in the background was simply too mournful and caused this parting to feel…

Gu Sheng blinked her eyes rapidly. Her nose was tingling.

From behind her, someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and looked at Geng Xiaoxing with red eyes. “Yes?”

“What’s the matter? … Friend Sheng Sheng…” Geng Xiaoxing had originally intended on asking if she wanted a to have a late night snack or something, but when she saw the look on her face, she was alarmed. “Had an argument with Toupai? No wonder you got off your mike so quickly…”

“What are you talking about? …” Gu Sheng slapped away her hand gloomily. “I must play this video game. This trailer is so touching… But, it’s a tragic ending… And it’s that kind of tragedy where you’ve got a mouthful of blood that’s stuck in your chest and you can’t spit it out or swallow it back down…”

That’s the most painful type, you know? T T

Geng Xiaoxing was thrilled about this. “You actually got all red-eyed after watching the promotional video dubbed by Toupai?”

She did not want to admit to this, but the video was still open and right there on her screen… There was no way she could deny it, k?….. Geng Xiaoxing was immediately gleeful. “Ah, ‘tis true love, indeed… Ah, true love…”

“You are not allowed to tell Jue Mei.” Gu Sheng still managed to remember her dignity.

“He’s listening in already.” Geng Xiaoxing pointed at her computer. “I told him only you and I are in our dorm room. He said, since we all knew each other anyway, might as well just turn on the mike…”



“Can you please shut off your mike first?” Gu Sheng felt extremely depressed.

Geng Xiaoxing quickly clasped her hands together and bowed, then turned her microphone off.

“But it’s no big deal.” Geng Xiaoxing put on a show of solemnness. “Supposedly, many, many girls shed tears tonight after watching the video. Jue Mei even said, Toupai really knows how to choose his projects, doing a tragic story, unlike him where the character he provided the voice for is completely unromantic.”

Toupai seemed to be someone who loved deeply and steadfastly. And his low voice especially showed that…

Jue Mei, on the other hand…

Gu Sheng unashamedly mocked him silently. Jue Mei was indeed suited for those unromantic, insensitive roles. Who else could possibly compete with him on those?…

With her head resting in her hands, she sat there and watched the video over and over again.

After watching it several times, she was already able to hum the melody of the video game’s theme song. She was even starting to consider rearranging the accompaniment to the song as a gift to Toupai… And if he could sing a cover of it, that would be soooo wonderful.

While she was still lost in her thoughts, her WeChat alert beeped. It was Toupai: I can finally turn on my phone again. I just reposted the promotional video for a video game.

Gu Sheng was still immersed in the tragic atmosphere. Seeing Toupai’s message made her think of the silhouette in the video that had gradually walked further and further away into the darkness. Without even thinking, she replied to him with her idea: I saw it. I want to rearrange the song… as a gift to you. Such a touching video.

After she sent off the message, she grew somewhat antsy.

Certainly, the number of people who wanted to arrange a song and invite Toupai to sing was so many that the people were probably all falling over one another… As for her, she was just an unknown. Who knew if her arrangement would be good enough for Toupai’s standards?

Toupai sent back a simple, “Sure.”

Only then did she settle down.

It was nearly time for bed, but she still could not bear it and opened up the promotional video one more time.

By the time she was finally about to shut down the webpage, Toupai’s Weibo surprisingly had a new post. It was a PaPa[1] upload, and the photo used was a nighttime shot of her university’s library. Her heart unexplainably leapt a few times. She clicked on the photo and listened.

Toupai spoke rather leisurely:

“Just a little while ago, a girl cried after watching the promotional video. She said she wanted to make a new arrangement of the song for me. It made me remember the song I listened to on repeat when I was preparing to dub this video to get me emotionally prepared.”

What song was it?

She grew increasingly curious.

Toupai did not continue speaking and instead, began to sing. It was only three or four lines.


Sleepless this night, watching the lights as they wane
Singing a song, sheng sheng man [slow, long, drawn sounds]
My feelings are still warm, though we have parted
Alone, in thin, cold garments

Alright. Everyone, good night.”

She clearly remembered the synopsis for this song, “Bai Shou” [A Head of White Hair]. As someone who shared his love for song, she could even share the same feelings he must have had before he provided the voice acting, when he was listening to this song. In the promotional video, she had said she would wait for him. He agreed, and then never looked back as he stepped into the darkness.

It is not important whether, after this parting, we can meet again. I understand your yearning. Even if I should be alone as my hair turns white, I will not feel lonely.


Even now, as she thought about this again, her eyes once more started tingling with tears.

Oh no. Going to cry again. T T It honestly sucks to be a voice lover …


[1]啪啪 ‘PaPa’ is a social networking app that integrates photos with audio recordings. Users can take a photo and then attaching audio directly to that photo, which can then be shared with friends or uploaded directly to Weibo, WeChat, QQ, and other social networking sites. See or


Additional Comments:

Hope you all understood what was going on at the end with the song and the way I did the translation.  Toupai chose a song where the words, 声声慢 “sheng sheng man” were embedded in the lyrics. “Sheng sheng man” means a slow, drawn-out sound or voice, and in the case of this lyrics, it is saying, “A slow tune was sung with long, drawn-out notes.”

The song is called 白首 “Bai Shou” [Head of White Hair].  It is actually the ending theme song from a radio drama called 墨印 “Mo Yin,” which is based on a BL novel of the same name.  Hence, that is why the song is a duet of two male voices. I honestly don’t know anything about the story. Song synopsis and lyric translation below.  Lyrics are color-coded for each singer so you can follow the story of the song more easily.  (Red for 墨, blue for 印, and green when they are singing together.)



To hold that hand until your heads are white. Several fleeting decades, yet upon looking back, they seem only a moment.
An instant that can compare with eternity.
That night, he stood before the lake for a long time. What or who he was thinking about, no one knew.
The only thing that was known was that, the next day, his head of hair had turned white.
Eternity is merely an instant.

On the Chinese parasol tree, light rain drizzles, night so cold
A night lake, a promise
A bottle of unfiltered rice wine should have been filled with love and tender attachment
But we are not fated to be together

Sleepless this night, watching the lights as they wane
Singing a song in a long, drawn voice
情尚暖 人已散
My feelings are still warm, though we have parted
Alone, in thin, cold garments

Splendid as the orchid cactus, which blooms only briefly
Blossoming in the moment that we turn around and part our ways
Do you know my heart is drifting chaotically?
The string of my heart has broken with the falling of a tear

Our gazes meet through the curtain, but we do not let ourselves greet each other
And we can only fault fate that we met each other too late
I am already stopped beside the Naihe Bridge[a]
How can I offer you any promises?

The moon itself has no shadow, but its cold glow creates slanting shadows
Leaves protecting the flower will eventually wither away
逝去的 仍牵绊
What has passed away still seems to entangle and impede
And turning back to look, my gaze is filled completely with things of the past

Only dimly discernible, like the mists of our past
Lingering and encircling me for so long
Do you know how my heart is longing?
A single ink stamp has branded itself onto my heart

Let me alone bear
The punishment from Heaven for the deep love that was short-lived
Trying in vain to hold back the passage of time
But in one night, the passing of many years has left its mark

Separated by the distance of a river
Remembering your gentle smile
晓梦残 梦难断
Dreams at dawn are incomplete, yet the dream will not break off
I cry out with a hoarse voice and in exhaustion

Waiting beneath the nighttime’s lake for our reunion (Waiting on the nighttime’s lake for our reunion)
The swiftly passing time is like an arrow
I know you understand my yearning (I understand your yearning)
Even if I should be alone as my hair turns white, I am not lonely


[a] 奈何桥. In Chinese folklore, after someone dies and enters the netherworld, he/she must pass over the Naihe Bridge. On this bridge, Old Lady Meng serves every soul that crosses the bridge a soup that erases all memories of the previous life and allows the soul to enter into the next incarnation.



48 thoughts on “Really, Really Miss You (很想很想你) – Chapter 23

  1. hm to be honest i always skip over the song lyrics since songs, especially in foreign languages, sound non-sensical when you read them.

  2. Thank you Hoju!

    As for answering your question, yes, I do read the lyric translations, but if it is a burden to you, I could do without them. A song summary might be nice in place of the lyric translations, but in such cases as this post, it was nice to have your lyrics translation because the song was so pertinent to Sheng Sheng’s emotional reaction and Toupai’s song choice at the time. ^^ Hope that makes sense. I could definitely see how song translations are much harder since they tend to be more poetic, a few characters and one line could take a paragraph to explain (okay, maybe exaggerating a little too much here)!

    I LOL when GXX told Sheng Sheng that the mike was on and that Jue Mei heard their conversation. Poor Sheng Sheng! No privacy at all! Open for Jue Mei’s teasing. Oh Toupai, he’s a sneaky one! He just let the world know that she (or a girl) is going to rearrange the song for him! Way to dedicate his posting to Sheng Sheng Man.

    • Thanks! Besides the fact that some of these translations really pushed my translation ability, I got thinking about this a bit more because MBFB removed all the real songs and put in her own made-up songs/lyrics. New readers would not have an existing song to read lyrics for and listen to. While I think the songs themselves set the atmosphere for me, I was wondering if it did the same for others.

      LOL. Makes you wonder if GXX has done that to Sheng Sheng before and Jue Mei has secretly turned on the speaker on his end for Toupai to listen to.

  3. i didn’t really skip the lyrics.. especially the meaningful ones..🙂

    ouh, Toupai really knew how to make a way.. such a player :p

    the best part of this chapter is “Just a little while ago, a girl cried after watching the promotional video. She said she wanted to make a new arrangement of the song for me. It made me remember the song I listened to on repeat when I was preparing to dub this video to get me emotionally prepared.”
    if i were shengsheng, i would definitely fly to the moon!!! *blushing*

    ah toupai.. see ya on saturday..😀

    thanks Hoju.. Fighting ^^

  4. I also read the lyric translation ^^, but if its too much for you I’m happy without it as well. The feature song is actually one of my favorite songs, it always reminds me of the TVB drama I watched 人龍傳說 “Dragon Love”. Thank you for the chapter

    • Thanks for the feedback. 🙂

      You are right! This would be an awesome song for Dragon Love. Wow, I nearly forgot about that drama. It’s been a good 15 years or so. Did you listen to this version of the song? Or a cover?

      • I listened to the instrumental version that they had featured in the drama. So no lyrics, it was nice to listen to the version you link and read the lyrics

        • Oh my. It’s been a long time since I last watched that. I didn’t realize the melody of this song is that old. Can you tell me which scene? I’m curious if I can find it.

        • I don’t remember which scene since there were quite a few but I found the OST link

          Listen from 0:39 you’ll hear the melody

        • Yes! Now I really want to go dig through the drama and find this. And see if I can find a male/female cover of the song. Makes me wonder if this song was written for Dragon Love in the first place since the lyrics are so appropriate for their love story as well, especially that line about the blooming cactus orchid.

        • I’m not sure if it was written for them, but every time I re-watch the drama with my sister, we would shred tears when they were torn apart and coupled with this tune in the background it just fitted the mode so well.

        • Check this out:

          The title is said to be 人龙传说·作茧. The lyrics are different from Bai Shou. These ones are specifically written for the leads in Dragon Love. You can see the lyrics on the left side of the page. Looks like the lyrics were written recently with the original drama in mind. I must say, I love the boy/girl duet!

        • Oh yeah I can see what you meant the lyrics written for the drama in the link you shared. Thanks!

  5. I also read the lyrics translation🙂 but dont push yourself, okay! Sometimes I quoted the lyrics translations and put it in my fb page. Haha (that’s when i couldnt control my kyaaaahhh kyaaaaaahhh-need to share though). Jue Mei and GXX pairing is so cute! Hope they end together hahaa. Thank hoju!

  6. I read the lyrics

  7. You’ve been nominated, hoju! I have answered your question about the translation of the lyrics here:

    • Mel, welcome back! Have you caught up on all of the Toupai goodness yet?

      Thank you for the nomination.🙂 And thank you for the feedback about the song translations, too.

  8. Thanks so much for this chapter! I really appreciate your hard work, but I mostly skip over the lyrics, so I wouldn’t miss them if they were gone🙂

  9. I skipped the lyric for first reading (bcoz I can’t wait to reach the end of each chapter) but I read them slowly in my second time (I usually read twice or more) hahaha…fighting hoju!! dont push yourself too much, I’m really appreciate your effort to give the best in this translation ^^

    • That sounds like me. My first read of the novel, I only skimmed through the lyrics and what I really wanted to know was what Toupai and Sheng Sheng were doing/saying. Then I went back and more carefully read the lyrics that were in the text. Then, when I clued in that i could look up the song (duh!… silly me), I listened to the song at the right place in the chapter, and that changed my entire reading experience.


  10. I do love to read the lyrics but if its a hassle, I can make do without it.
    Thanks for all your efforts.

    • Thank you for the feedback. Not necessarily a hassle, but since they are ancient-style, a lot of them are more poetic… and after humming and hawing over the word choice, I still feel like I don’t do them justice at all.😉

  11. Hi there – I am a silent reader here. I really enjoy your translations and the story is super sweet.

    I do read translations of songs’ lyrics. They help set up the mood and Toupai has a knack at singing the right songs at the right moment. So smooth. Such killer moves.

    Thank you for your hard work and commitment.

    • First off, welcome Bella! Thank you so much for reading! I’m glad to hear that you are enjoying the story.

      Thanks for your feedback. Toupai knows exactly how to use his voice to win over Sheng Sheng…. and me!!

  12. I read the lyrics sometimes but what I mostly read is just the one inside the chapter, not the translated one below. If it is such a hassle, it’s okay to just translate atleast the lyrics mentioned in the chapter and a few information about the below, it won’t be such a big deal to do without ’em.

    Toupai is awesome as always, but I always want more of him. I never feel satiated, I swear. I want more of him all the time. If he’s a food I’ll be obese.

    • Thank you for the feedback.

      I promise to always translate any lyrics that are within the story proper. I would never consider taking those ones out since they are part of the story.

      LOL. Toupai is like candy! Or maybe chocolate… Mmm….

  13. Hoju thanks for the update🙂 well i also read the lyrics but not focus like i read the main translation hehe. By the way when we get to val’s day chapter haha

  14. Nobody can fault me for having tried resisting, waiting….unfortunately I failed. I can’t get enough of Toupai….twice weekly is leaving craving for more and more….Hoju, you’re killing me softly and slowly. And that soulful song….omg….I suspect there’s a hidden agenda, you’re here for a specific purpose, right??? To torture people like me at the end of every chapter….and counting the days to the next chapter.

    The best thing about this book (well, at least so far) is there’s no angst. Just reading about how they literally like grow on each other, more and more, day by day, chapter by chapter.

    For the record, I read the song translation too. I could just imagine how difficult it is to translate them, definitely makes their romance more meaningful and special given their background job. Most importantly, you spent so much time translating them, I will reciprocate my time reading them.

    Thanks again…and now…..sigh….back to the “torture” chambers again….

    • I know what you mean. It’s best not to start. I’ve only followed a novel once as each chapter was being written, and it was absolute torture. I kept telling myself I should wait until a few more chapters were complete before I went to read, but I didn’t have the self-control. (BTW, Xinn, it was a very sweet uncle story by MBFB. ;)) So I would never intentionally try to torture you guys. 😛

      My angst tolerance these days is… well, nil; hence, that’s why I love this story!

      Thank you for the feedback! Knowing the songs completely made a different reading experience for me, so I’m glad you think they are useful.

      Well, I’m pushing out another “torture” in a few hours… LOL

  15. I can’t stop reading this novel… I only started yesterday. ☺️ I usually don’t start reading any c-novel translation until it’s completed for fear that the translator will stop 1/2 way through the project but I’m so hooked with this one. I love the songs that you included in some chapters. I’ve never thought I’d love ancient theme songs. Thank you for your hard work…


    • Hi Sian,
      Welcome to the RRMY love! I love hearing when people share my love for this novel! We are about 75% of the way through, and I solemnly promise that I will not abandon this project. Pinky swear.

      I am such an ancient-style song lover now, too. My playlist hasn’t had any other type of song for months now. Glad the novel introduced you to some songs you now love.🙂

      Thanks for commenting!

      • Thanks for your pinky swear promise to not abandon this project 😃 I’m so looking forward to finishing up reading this novel. Awesome songs…

  16. Pingback: Really, Really Miss You (很想很想你) – Weibo Random Scenes and Storyline Song | Fanatical

  17. I read it while listen to the music to know the song better….thx u for ur hard work…I have in love with this novel as I can listen the song that mentioned in book n knew the meaning as well…thx u

    • This novel made me a huge fan of ancient-style songs. Now, those are what make up most of my playlist. I’m glad you enjoy the lyrics.🙂

  18. in Reply to your question I do read the lyric translation. I even played the song while reading the translation. it gives me the feel to the story. I dont 7nderstand chinese at all and I would l9ve to know what the song it all about to get the better understanding of the story. All the song is so beautiful and it makes me fall in love with the story and the character. Thank you so m7ch for translating it. I really appreciate that. it is essential to the story.

    • Thank you for letting me know.🙂 I love how these songs are woven into the story, and fell in love with ancient-style songs because of this. I’m glad you have been enjoying the lyric translations and the story.🙂

  19. Im super late in joining as a fan of this novel. Thankyou for your translation. Its so nice n refreshing no love triangles. Love it all started with their voice.

    Although i understand mandarin and cantonese. Deep words are not available in my limited vocabulary so your lyric translation really helps. Thankyou for the linkd too. I enjoy cartoon or drawings of the leads t oo. Helps with the visualizing.

    A note with our male lead. Although hes a bit too smooth, i like his type of pursuing. Active but not stuffy, if you get what i mean

    • Tehe, welcome to the fan club. I❤ this novel so much, my go-to if I need a pick-me-up.

      A fellow person who knows Canto.🙂 I'm glad the song translations have been helping.🙂

      *sigh* I love Toupai and his courting style. He's… awesome.❤

  20. My heart can only bear so much omg. The song is so beautiful.
    Hoju, thanks a lot for the translation~

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