Fangirling Chinese Novels

Really, Really Miss You (很想很想你) – Chapter 46



So, what is the first thing that Toupai wants to do now that he has closed the 2-D world chapter of his life? And, not only Sheng Sheng, but I got educated by Toupai, too.🙂

Hmm… can’t say I’ve ever had rum-flavoured ice cream.  I have had Irish cream-flavoured and it did give me a little headache. (I don’t drink alcohol at all… don’t like the taste.) I am told that I was rather giggly after that pint of ice cream. And if you’re scratching your head wondering why I’m talking about alcohol flavored ice cream, just read the chapter. :p

Chapter 46 – “Splendid” Rice with Pickled Vegetables and Pork (5)

“These last few years, because of work, I have had to turn down all kinds of proposals. Some were from old friends, some from new people. I believe it is difficult for a person to be able to always treat everyone equally and fairly. The ways of the world are unavoidable and will get in the way. So,” Qiang Qing Ci chuckled, “tonight all I want to say is, hereafter, I hope my old friends will let me off the hook, new people will give other CVs a chance, and you can all gradually forget about me.”

His words had been spoken very discreetly and mindfully, but they were also very heartfelt.

But… how could they possibly forget him?

Even though any sort of entertainment circle will have its ups and downs during its establishment, those will not prevent it from becoming better and better. And those people who arose with the circle in the very beginning and became famous in it will also be written into the first volume of this entertainment circle’s history books.

Although Qiang Qing Ci had been very tactful, he was also very clearly stating that, because of his work, he would not be accepting any more invitations to work on online projects. In the future, if you wanted to hear his voice, it would have to be through the mainstream platforms.

And perhaps… the opportunities to hear him on those mainstream platforms would be less and less, too…

Gu Sheng was also feeling a deep sense of sadness, as if tonight, they were bidding farewell to that era that had once had Qiang Qing Ci.

A sudden, simple love confession that had come like a secret being uncovered followed by words that were bidding farewell to the entire online entertainment circle. Her heart was following Toupai, like it was suddenly being flung up and then unexpectedly being dropped back down — even more exciting than riding a roller coaster…

She thought he would do as he always did and turn off his microphone and then leave.

But unexpectedly, background music began playing. Unlike normally, on this night when he was giving his farewell, he presented this song to the listeners without any warning.

There were no opening pleasantries, no unnecessary remarks at all.

These last ten years, he had always been as such. No need for debate or hype, everything said with just the voice…

When his voice made its appearance in their ears, it seemed so ethereal and elusive that it caused people’s hearts to palpitate. This was completely different from the other songs he had sung before:

“Like morning dew on the orchid cactus [epiphyllum], so near, yet so far.
It is said, the Yellow River meanders, but in the end still flows eastward.
An 8000 year old jade suddenly fades overnight.
I ask Heaven, what is the purpose of this life?
Where the wind blew last night, who can count the petals that fell?
Under the vastness of the heavens, I dance with my shadow in the wind.
Who can share in everything with me?
Beneath the age-old Big Dipper, in a palace of beauty but cold with solitude,
It is better to be a loving couple, wandering the world together for all our lives.”

This was “Cha Na Fang Hua Qu” [A Song of Fleeting Beauty; more accurately A Song of those Fleeting, Most Beautiful Years].

His voice was grand and majestic, rising above this heartrending song, as if he truly had seen “an 8000 year old jade suddenly fade overnight” and “danced in the wind with his shadow under the vastness of the heavens”……

A moment of fleeting beauty…

Such a suitable song for him.

This last decade of his most beautiful years were merely a moment, like the snapping of fingers.


“So beautiful I’m crying! Bowing on my knees! Toupai DaRen… oh my, I’m Feng Ya Song’s diehard fangirl, ah!!!! How come one song has made me change camps T.T?…… Toupai, begging to marry you!!!!” “(○^~^○) DaRen, no problem if you retire from the CV circle! The ancient-style music circle welcomes you!!!!” “Awesome idea! Begging Toupai Sama to march over to the ancient-style music circle!”…… “⊙.⊙ Anyone notice the line, ‘Better to be a loving immortal couple, wandering the world together for all our lives? This is the true song that Sama is using to give his love confession, right?……”

As the song was nearing its close, Toupai, for the first time in history, used his administrator’s authority and prohibited comments and flowers on the public comment screen.

Quiet was restored to the comment box for a few seconds.

Very soon, a few words appeared. In a distinctive color text, he said: Thank you, everyone. Goodbye.

And then, he very quickly exited the room.

This was… the first time he had ever left a comment on the YY public comment screen, and it was to say goodbye.

The time he went offline was eleven o’clock at night. Later, that night and all the way through the entire day of the following day, everyone felt that it was very surreal. This was because simply too many artists, old and young, big names and unknowns, friends of his and random fans of his … as if they had all collaborated together, were, one after another, drawing farewell pictures to him.

There were all sorts of styles, from chibi drawings to aesthetic style pictures, Japanese manga style to ancient-style brush ink paintings.

Without exception, each one was clearly marked with the three words, “Qiang Qing Ci.”

And also without exception, when each picture was released, the artist would describe how he or she had felt in that first moment of hearing Qiang Qing Ci’s voice.

Gu Sheng watched as, in Weibo and Tieba, the art and drawings continued to pour in. She sincerely felt that he was truly a perfect legend. After he faded out of the spotlight, perhaps his fans would also gradually leave the entertainment circle, or perhaps his voice gradually would not seem as beautiful as it had been at the start …

But Qiang Qing Ci would surely be a name that would be difficult to surpass and one that would never be forgotten.


Since there was no library sorting work that needed to be done next week, she did not go back to campus.

Tuesday happened to be his day off, but he had some recording work that needed to be done to wrap-up his work for the video game. That meant he would be sacrificing the entire daytime of his hard-to-come-by day off and could only meet her when it was nearly dinnertime.

This was her second time at this recording studio, but the two girls working busily at reception were already treating her like she was a familiar presence there. When she was waiting in the main reception area with nothing to do, the girl who knew her and Toupai’s true identities even pulled out from the freezer an ice cream that was normally for employees only and insisted on giving it to her.

She bit down on her plastic spoon, wordlessly refreshing Weibo.

When the search term, “Qiang Qing Ci” was entered, countless visually appealing pictures and drawings appeared.

It’d be nice if she saved all these artworks and then printed them out in an album for him to keep as a momento, hmm?

This thought had just flashed into her mind when she saw the latest news released this morning on Toupai’s fanclub’s Weibo… They had already started on such a project. Sure enough, fans’ strength was always the most formidable…

“What are you looking at?” a low voice asked as a pair of hands pressed against the couch back behind her.

“Huh?’ She tilted her head up to look at him. “I’m looking at those things all the illustrators and artists drew for you… I had wanted to make an album for you as a momento, but your fans love you more than I do and have already started on it.”

He smiled, his gaze shifting to the ice cream in her hand.



Don’t do it. One of your true, official fans is blatantly staring in this direction and watching, ah T.T. Don’t think that just because you’ve retired, you can do whatever you want, ah, my Toupai DaRen

And not just your fan, those people hanging around the reception desk are obviously also watching you, ah…

But that feeling of having your food stared at by a gorgeous guy was too uncomfortable as well…

She hesitated for quite a while before finally steeling her mind. Completely ignoring the knowing looks coming from all around them, she scooped out a spoonful and brought it to his lips. The creamy brown ice cream was taken into his mouth, and he even seemed very satisfied as he savoured the taste for a moment. His words were somewhat unclear as he told her, “Rum can be considered a hard liquor. When they make this particular flavour of ice cream, they will more or less mix some alcohol into it. Its flavor is really quite good.”

If this naturally alluring voice was recorded, it could definitely be used in an advertisement to endorse this ice cream…

She actually did seem to recall that his favourite flavour of ice cream was, indeed, rum and his least favourite was chocolate.

He seemed to have mentioned this in an online radio interview a few years ago.

Now that they mentioned it, what a coincidence it was that the flavour they happened to be eating today was rum…

He leaned over and continued casually chatting with her. “There is one thing that’s a little inconvenient when you eat this. There really is alcohol in it, and after eating it, a police breathalyzer test can detect the alcohol content in your breath.”

“You’ve come across such a situation?” So remarkable!

“No. One of the new graduate students at my workplace saw me eating this particular flavour of ice cream, so he told me that he did an interesting experiment that tested for what types of things could cause you to be mistaken for ‘driving under the influence.’”

“What sorts of things?” She was honestly curious…

“Mouthwash, Huoxiang Zhengqi Shui[1]. And also this: rum-flavoured ice cream.” He reached back slightly in his memory. “But, the effect lasts only for a few minutes and then the alcohol content in your mouth will decrease, so really, it was just strictly an experiment. No one would actually have such bad luck where they would be eating ice cream and getting tested at the same time.”

She dug out another spoonful for herself, put it in her mouth, and nodded.

Increasing her knowledge.

“Teacher Mo, do you like it?… I mean, this ice cream?” The girl who had had her ears pricked up the whole time to listen in had taken advantage of the opportunity of pouring herself some water to saunter up next to the two of them. Her stance was completely one where her hands were covering her heart. “There are lots more in the freezer. I specifically bought this flavour. You can eat as much as you like.”

*cold sweat*

So obviously an abuse of power, making the entire recording studio eat rum-flavoured ice cream along with him…

“Thank you. It tastes very good.” This man, who caused jealous, envy, and hate in people, however, only answered her in an exceptionally polite manner.

Gu Sheng gnawed on her spoon and gave him a very, very, very meaningful look.

Toupai DaRen.

I swear, even if you’ve retired from the entertainment circle, your fans’ eyes and heart only have room for you. Even if they only stare at the three words, “Qiang Qing Ci,” they will be perfectly content and think of nothing else…

“I thought of something.” He suddenly lowered his head to look at her.


“What are you doing for the May Day holiday[2]?”

“May Day? Haven’t thought about it yet.” Honestly, this second half of her fourth year in university was no different than if she had been given a half a year holiday. Only people who actually had to work would think about that holiday… She really had not considered it at all T.T…

“These last few years, I haven’t taken any of my vacation time. I finally was mercifully granted some vacation time-off, but the duration is very short so I can’t go too far.” Mo Qingcheng put on a look of musing. “We can choose any island in Southeast Asia, how about that?”

Travel? With her boyfriend?

She gently reminded him, “My parents are pretty conservative…”

He pondered briefly.

Although she really wanted to go, the instant she thought about her dad and mom’s teachings, she decided to call off the idea.

“I’ve thought about that, too.” He very considerately dismantled her doubts and crushed them to pieces while offering up a plan. “I’ll first arrange to have my parents meet your father and mother. Once we make our relationship official, things will be a lot easier.”

( ⊙ o ⊙)


She gazed up into his eyes, unable to find any valid and feasible excuse to refuse him, particularly since his fan was there staring unblinkingly at them with a mushy expression like pink hearts were going to explode off the charts. It was obvious she had overheard the entire conversation.

How was she supposed to refuse him in front of his diehard fangirl T.T? Toooo hard…

But, they had only been together for two months. Were they really going to have both sides’ parents meet each other so soon, and then just like that, nail down the question of whom they will belong to for the latter half of their lives? …


[1]藿香正气水. Liquid medicine used to treat various ailments, which I’ll be honest, I could not completely comprehend with the Chinese medicinal terms, but included dealing with symptoms such as headaches, chest tightness, abdominal swelling and pain, etc.


[2]五一假期. Literally, the “five one” holiday, or the holiday on the first day of the fifth month. More officially known as Labour Day holiday. May 1 is International Labour Day, which is a nationally recognized holiday, and then in China, an additional couple more days off are given as a national holiday.


Additional Comments:

The lyrics to the song 刹那芳华曲 ‘Cha Na Fang Hua Qu’ [A Song of Fleeting Beauty/A Song of those Fleeting, Most Beautiful Years] were actually presented in their entirety in this chapter already.  I will just include the Chinese lyrics with timing points in case anyone wants them. There are tons of good female recordings of this song, but the one I linked is the only male cover that I like. (Sorry that the Chinese opera video might be visually jarring to the story, but it’s the only video of this version of the song on YT.)

[0:30] 朝露昙花, 咫尺天涯,
Like morning dew on the orchid cactus [epiphyllum], so near, yet so far.
[0:38] 人道是黄河十曲,毕竟东流去
It is said, the Yellow River meanders, but in the end still flows eastward.
[0:52] 八千年玉老,一夜枯荣,
An 8000 year old jade suddenly fades overnight.
[1:02] 问苍天此生何必?
I ask Heaven, what is the purpose of this life?
[1:16] 昨夜风吹处,落英听谁细数。
Where the wind blew last night, w
ho can count the petals that fell?
[1:26] 九万里苍穹,御风弄影,
Under the vastness of the heavens, I dance with my shadow in the wind.
[1:31] 谁人与共?
Who can share in everything with me?
[1:35] 千秋北斗,瑶宫寒苦,
Beneath the age-old Big Dipper, in a palace of beauty but cold with solitude.
[1:44] 不若神仙眷侣,百年江湖。
It is better to be a loving couple, w
andering the world together for all our lives.
[1:54] 不若神仙眷侣,百年江湖。
It is better to be a loving couple, wandering the world together for all our lives.

[2:08] 朝露昙花, 咫尺天涯,
Like morning dew on the orchid cactus [epiphyllum], so near, yet so far.
[2:16] 人道是黄河十曲,毕竟东流去
It is said, the Yellow River meanders, but in the end still flows eastward.
An 8000 year old jade suddenly fades overnight.
[2:34] 问苍天此生何必?
I ask Heaven, what is the purpose of this life?
[2:43] 昨夜风吹处,落英听谁细数。
Where the wind blew last night, w
ho can count the petals that fell?
[2:52] 九万里苍穹,御风弄影,
Under the vastness of the heavens, I dance with my shadow in the wind.
[2:57] 谁人与共?
Who can share in everything with me?
[3:01] 千秋北斗,瑶宫寒苦,
Beneath the age-old Big Dipper, in a palace of beauty but cold with solitude.
[3:10] 不若神仙眷侣,百年江湖。
It is better to be a loving couple, w
andering the world together for all our lives.

[3:18] 昨夜风吹处,落英听谁细数。
Where the wind blew last night, w
ho can count the petals that fell?
[3:27] 九万里苍穹,御风弄影,
Under the vastness of the heavens, I dance with my shadow in the wind.
[3:33] 谁人与共?
Who can share in everything with me?
[3:37] 千秋北斗,瑶宫寒苦,
Beneath the age-old Big Dipper, in a palace of beauty but cold with solitude.
[3:45] 不若神仙眷侣,百年江湖。
It is better to be a loving couple, w
andering the world together for all our lives.
[3:54] 不若神仙眷侣,百年江湖。
It is better to be a loving couple, wandering the world together for all our lives.

27 thoughts on “Really, Really Miss You (很想很想你) – Chapter 46

  1. Lol, Toupai really knows how to move fast🙂 They’ve been together for only 2 months

  2. lol..that two month make me feel they together for 2 yearsss alreadyyy..heehee..daebak..

    • I know! But a lot of that is an illusion because of my translation speed. Read it from the beginning and see if it still feels that long….

  3. southeast asia??? just come to my house! i’ll treat you Dr. Mo and Sheng sheng😛

    aaahh.. the ice cream scenes.. aiyoo.. in this cold-rainy season, talking about ice cream, aiyoo.. but everything’s gonna be warm if Dr. Mo sits beside me. LOLs.. his eyes, smile, look.. warmth!

    thanks Hoju🙂 really really love this!

    • One. The rainy season in SEA is not cold. I think I’ll be dying with jealousy if both of them came really. Do you want to too?

      • Yes. aiyoo.. but he better brings his friend, poor us who accompany this sweet-lovely couple.. full of jealousy, lols..

        i just want this novel to be adapted into drama now! so we can see the live action of our Dr. Mo and Shengsheng🙂

      • Ice cream in the rain is better than ice cream in the snow where I am.😉

        Ah, that’s a tough one. Would I want to watch them and die from jealousy? Probably not, but to see real, live Mo Qingcheng!!

        I thought you wanted a movie? Now you’re getting greedy and want more hours of Dr. Mo? I still am uncertain whether this book will translate well to the screen, with all the online stuff. They’d have to pick a pretty awesome actor to make sitting in front of the computer with a headset on for half the show interesting to watch. BTW, Yui, who out of your harem of favourites would you want to play Toupai (and Sheng Sheng)?

        • you know that i love love love Wallace Chung, Huang Xiao Ming, Ethan Ruan, Eddie Peng, and some other ‘mature’ actors, but non of them suit Dr. Mo character.😀

          im not familiar with mandarin young actors. i will skip zhang han, im sooo sorry ZH’s fans, no offense! i like him. but he’s not the one on my mind now😀

          Just visited avirtualvoyage and saw Yang Yang, he’s quite handsome. haha.. Chen Xiao? but havent watched any of his projects. But William Chan is pretty good looking also. i enjoyed watching his performance with zhao li ying.

          And for sheng-sheng, emm.. i like the girl from my sunshine who played as young mo sheng. her acting skill is good for me. if i were a director, i probably would cast her. lols.
          fyi : my fave actresses are ariel lin and chen qiao en but too mature to be sheng sheng.😛

          how about you?

        • Eddie Peng is not that “mature.” I remember when DMY’s cast was announced, most people were screaming how he was too young-looking to pull off Huo Qu Bing. Now, he’s a mature actor? LOL. Toupai is 26-ish years old, so an actor in his early thirties isn’t too unreasonable. In contrast, I actually don’t think Chen Xiao looks mature enough to pull off Toupai. Nothing against his acting chops, just that Toupai is so serious, introverted, and mature the way he deals with things that Chen Xiao’s baby face doesn’t click with my image of Toupai. Eddie Peng does have the height and body to play Toupai.

          You know my fave actor is Wallace Huo, right? I know he’s pushing the limits on age at 35, but he still looks quite young. Actually, it’s WH’s overall feel that reminds me of Toupai, not because I want my fave actor to play my fave c-novel male lead. He’s serious, introverted, and quiet but still can pull off the confident, devoted guy, warm doctor side of Toupai. The only thing is his height because Toupai is suppose to be quite a bit taller than average, and that’s something WH does not have.

          Still thinking about Sheng Sheng. I do like Wu Qian, the actress of young Mo Sheng and think she could capture Sheng Sheng’s innocence…

        • Wallace huo was my teenager crush. At the dolphin bay and twins then phone love story (i kinda forget) and perfect couple.. I rarely watched his dramas since then but i agree with you, he has the baby face!
          Ehhhh.. So Dr. Mo is 26? I think he’s only 23-24.. My bad!
          So then Eddie would fit the list! Handsome, tall, baby face, and good in acting!

          I think william chan would be nice also.. Not biased hehe..

          But i’ll approve if william and zhao li ying as and shengsheng. Zhao li ying has a baby face also.. Yang mi also but she already has a baby.. So pass!

        • Perfect Couple is a pretty new drama. LOL.

          I don’t watch modern dramas, normally. (Boss and Me was an exception because it was so cute and My Sunshine was an exception because I was doing recaps). So, that means I have not watched a single one of WH’s modern dramas, although the stills of him in his doctor’s coat for Inspire the Life has forever made me picture him as all my favourite c-novel doctors. (I LOVE c-novel doctors… all my favourite male leads are doctors.)

          Ah, I totally forgot about Zhao Li Ying. She would make a good Sheng Sheng. I actually think Ariel Lin would do fine, despite her age, because of her baby face. Yang Mi looks young, but I’ve found that she has stopped displaying the youthful vibrancy she used to have. So, nah, I don’t think I’d like her as Sheng Sheng. Nuh-uh for William Chan. He doesn’t look mature enough to play Toupai’s serious side.

        • LOLs.. i forgot when i watched Perfect Couple, haha.. i have a bad memory😀

          I’m okay with all C-actors, but i just wish they wont import the K-actor. Even TOP or Woobin, no no no for this character😀 except, the kdrama adapted from this novel, hihi.. but i prefer Cdrama😀

          Dr. Mo is a perfect character, and if i were the producer, this ‘homework’ would be so difficult also..

          it’s easier to find an actress to play sheng sheng, but Dr. Mo.. aiyooo.. I try to imagine about Eddie as Dr. Mo but.. *sigh*.. i need to watch more C-dramas to find Dr.Mo haha

  4. Two months… then meet the parents already, if its true life, i would definitely say no, but if its toupai, he won’t need more than a second to get my yes. Haha. Not like its me hes asking. T.T

    • I met my hubby’s parents after two months of dating and he met mine after 1.5 months. But the official parents meeting parents didn’t happen until probably half a year in.

      Ah, you’re just like Sheng Sheng. Yes to everything Toupai says, even if you want to say no.

  5. Once again, I have to ask: Does Toupai have any flaws? >_>

  6. Toupai really is moving too fast with meeting each other’s parents. Now that he’s retired from the 2D world, all his attention is with Sheng Sheng. Lucky gal!

    • I must be weird. I feel the vacationing together is more the “moving too fast” part than the meeting the parents. Sheng Sheng’s got all the luck anyway. All she did was hum and then she got Toupai out of it!!!

  7. Thank you Hoju for the translation and hard work! truly appreciated! Can’t wait for the next chapter… yes.. agree… I hope that this is adapted into a drama soon… Love the lovely couple, Toupai and Sheng Sheng. Because of this novel, I have started listening to Chinese Ancient Songs too and is appreciating the music that I dont normally listen to.

    • I am completely an ancient-style music fan, all because of this novel. I’ve never taken a particular fancy to any genre of music, although I guess you could say I like mando and canto pop. But when I heard Shang Ye, it completely struck a chord with me.

      Unfortunately, although there are tons of c-novels that are on the list or rumoured to be adapted to the screen, this one isn’t one of them. Now, there were plans for a radio drama, so I’m really, really, really hoping those go through!

  8. Thanks for the chapter!

  9. Happy Birthday! Thanks so much for all your hard work in sharing with this mono- lingual reader. If I could have a super power it would be to understand all the languages in the world. You open up a new world for me and I truly appreciate all you do.

  10. I actually teared up a bit on Toupai’s farewell… It is really bittersweet.
    Thanks a lot, hoju~

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