Fangirling Chinese Novels

Your Humble Servant is Guilty! – Chapter 5



This is the escape from the palace chapter. Will Ling Shu end up with Yan Xiao Wu? You’ll find out in March as I’ll try to wrap up the translation next month. However, no promise and don’t ask me to hurry up.

Chapter 5 

Before I catch my breath, I have already recovered my composure.

Liu Xi is hugging and kissing me.

This makes me frightened to death. Grandfather who is six feet under must be cursing again. He said that Yan Xiao Wu is more reliable than little Liu Xi, so he made me keep a distance from him. What grandfather said is unreasonable. After little Liu Xi became the emperor, even if I want to keep a distance, I may not be able to do so. If the ruler wants his vassal to die, then she …… she does not want to die …… (the actual proverb is she must die)

After hugging, kissing and molesting me, Liu Xi contentedly says: “You don’t need to wait too long before I can let you come and live in the palace.”

This sentence makes me frightened to death again.

However I dare not show it, trembling with fear, I leave meekly.

He must be drunk to mistaken me for his imperial concubine, right? Give you a piece of sugar to eat, promise you spouse’s status and a future, but I do not want to be his imperial concubine at all.

I absent mindedly return to my own tent. Yan Xiao Wu said: “Did you eat crayfish? Your mouth is swollen.”

I look at him sluggishly and say: “Yan Xiao Wu, you’re right this time. I’m really going to die.”

Yan Xiao Wu’s complexion changes and he looks serious: “Could it be that you accidentally swallowed poison?”

“More or less ……” I sigh and say, “Can you take me out of the imperial palace? I feel that I can’t stay in this place anymore.”

Yan Xiao Wu scratches his head: “But isn’t your Song family bound by the deceased emperor Gao for life? If you don’t get an amnesty from the emperor, you are breaking the law if you run away like this. Don’t tell me you want me to wander around with you to avoid getting killed?”

“Isn’t your nickname Come One Stab, ranked among the best on the martial arts expert list, also known as the world number one idiot? It is not difficult to flee with me, right? We can go to Southeast Asia. When we arrive there, it’ll be beyond the reach of Chen country!”

Yan Xiao Wu says in distress: “A man away from his native place is worthless so I don’t want to leave the country. What kind of mess did you get yourself into?”

“Yan Xiao Wu, my grandfather saved you and I brought you up. You cannot walk out on me!” I tug at the sleeve of his garment and bawl, “If you don’t do as I say, I’ll not let you get away with it easily, even if i am dead! ”

“We still don’t know who will die first ……” Yan Xiao Wu scowls miserably and sighs in despair, “In that case, when are you leaving?”


“No!” Yan Xiao Wu shakes his head, “I still want to go hunting tomorrow!”

“Yan Xiao Wu, why don’t you go to hell!”

In the end, I give in and let him go hunting. I do not expect the accident which should happen to happen.

When it is hunting time on the next day, I do not know where Yan Xiao Wu had gone. I follow and hang around the troops from a distant. Suddenly, Taxue shudders, and immediately, it kicks up its hooves and breaks out into a wild gallop. I turn from a lady into a shrew, looking dishevelled on the horse. My left foot is still stepping on the stirrup, but the right foot has already loosened. My body flips over and is thrown off the horse. The upper body is being dragged on the ground, but the left foot is still in the stirrup. I can clearly feel the cranking sound on my ankle. My back and my ankle are very painful as if being slapped to death by the big waves. I am really glad that my head hit a rock at that time and I fainted. Hence I lost consciousness.

I think it must be my grandfather poking a voodoo doll with a pin because he is angry at me for not listening to what he said, being unable to let go of Liu Xiao Xi. I really intend to let go this time round. I do not know whether it is too late at night …… to dream about mountain of swords and deep fryer, tour eighteen layers of hell several times, Ox-Head and Horse-Face (guardians of the underworld in Chinese mythology) come to take a look and say: “Add more firewood, the oil is not hot enough!”

Too inhumane …… I fume with rage between gritted teeth. When I am groaning in the deep fryer, I hear continuous bawling like the sound of ghost howling.

Suddenly a gust of cool wind blowing, dispersing a little of the heat. In the midst of the mist, a slender figure comes and says in a sweet-sounding voice: “All of you can leave now.”

In a short while, that voice fades away. The Ox-Head and Horse-Face have also gone away. Only that figure is getting close and squatting down in front of me. He gently caresses and strokes my forehead and face with his cold hand. I sigh softly and feel a little more comfortable. I want to move closer, but someone comes and summons: “Judge (mythological underworld judge), the King of Hell is calling you.”

That trace of coldness is withdrawn, I see mountain of swords and deep fryer again.

Probably after ten lifetimes long, I finally climb out from that kind of nightmare. However, to discover to my sorrow that reality is even more cruel.

I am lying on one side, with my foot hanging up in the air. The piercing pain has eased a lot. I do not know what kind of medicine had been applied to my back, making me feel numb and itchy. My face feels painful and my head also hurts ……

“Ah ……” I want to speak, but cannot produce any sound.

I look around carefully. This should be the servant room in Lin Shui Palace, but it looks like there is a little more stuff.

At this moment, someone pushes open the door and locks eyes with me. After a moment, he finally shouts out for joy: “Imperial physician Song has woken up!”

I sadly think about the reversal of my position. As an imperial doctor, I have actually become a patient with serious illness. When I was unconscious, I wonder if Liu Xi said this to the other imperial doctors, “If she suddenly dies, I want all of you to be buried with her!”

Yan Xiao Wu comes in a short while later. With a pair of very red eyes, he walks up to me, knees down and says: “You beat me la!”

I say: “Water ……”

He quickly pours a glass of warm water for me.

After moistening my throat, I ask: “What happened?”

He replies: “Taxue’s horseshoe was broken on that day. As a result, a nail pierced through the horseshoe, making the horse lost control and galloped wildly. You grazed your feet, back and hands. You also bumped your head lightly and was in a coma for almost half a month.”

“Oh ……” I drink another glass of water, thinking what a coincidence.

“His Majesty had sent people to investigate, but cannot find out anything, so it is considered an accident. His Majesty had asked the people in the imperial hospital to take good care of you.”

“Oh ……” I continue to say. I could not help but want to reach out and scratch my back.

“Don’t move.” Yan Xiao Wu grabs my hand, “After applying the medicine, you’ll feel a little uncomfortable, but it won’t leave any scar.”

I stare blankly for a moment, then subconsciously touch my cheeks. Yan Xiao Wu grabs my other hand and says: “As for your face……it should also not leave any scar, so don’t worry.”

“I don’t need to rely on my face to make a living!” I purse my lips and say, “I’m hungry. I want to eat century egg and lean pork congee.”

“Okay!” Yan Xiao Wu follows my order and goes out.

I look at the doorway for a long time before slowly pulling up the quilt to cover my head. Why me? I make a wild guess. Could it be that the real target is Liu Xi? They believe I am the only one who can cure his illness, so killing me is tantamount to killing Liu Xi? It is not easy to kill Liu Xi, might as well let me meet with an accident.

Will they be so devious?

I heave a sigh. Anyway, let it be since it has nothing to do with me as I have decided to run away.

The ankle injury is less painful now. The back is just numb and itchy, mainly because the stomach is hungry. I wait for a long time for Yan Xiao Wu to come back.

“Why are you so slow ……” I complain.

“It can’t be helped ……” Yan Xiao Wu wipes away the sweat, “Not enough manpower.”

“Not even a palace maid available?”

“All went to Xihua Court.” Yan Xiao Wu says, “It seems imperial concubine Hua is not feeling well. She keeps on complaining of stomach pain. The imperial doctor said her fetal position is not upright or something. His Majesty had also gone over to take a look. Oh, I still have not told His Majesty that you’ve woken up.”

“No need to tell.” I stop him and say, “Since there are only a few people around now, let’s go.”

“Ah?” Yan Xiao Wu looks foolishly at me, “In such a hurry?”

I snappily glare at him, “If we had left a day earlier, I would not need to lay here now.”

Yan Xiao Wu feels guilty and scratches his head, “Okay, I’ll listen to you.”

After eating the congee to regain some energy, Yan Xiao Wu packs light luggage and says to me: “Let’s use the tunnel which can lead directly to the outside of the city.”


The tunnel entrance is under the rockery in the imperial garden. From that place, you can see Xihua Court. I caught a glimpse of a bright yellow figure flashing past. My heart feels numb and painful like the feeling of suffering a fracture on the ankle and don’t know whether it has been set back properly in place. After being set back properly in place and a few months of rest, can run and jump as usual.

I am smiling, so Yan Xiao Wu asks me why am I smiling. I say: “One is bound for good fortune after surviving a great disaster.”

Yan Xiao Wu is carrying me on the back and has walked for a long time in the tunnel. I take a nap while lying on his back. When I wake up, we are already on the ground.

“Yan Xiao Wu, you scoundrel who pilfer.” I look up at the sky outside the city, then look at him with disdain, “How do you know about this tunnel?”

“It’s a secret.” Yan Xiao Wu laughs and says, “Your injuries are not completely healed yet but I’ve brought along all the medicine. Let’s find a place to stay first until your injuries are fully healed, then we’ll leave.”

I say: “No! We’ll leave immediately! Otherwise, what are we going to do when the soldiers give chase?”

“What do you know? The most dangerous place is the safest place! Moreover, you think too highly of yourself. You’re merely a small imperial physician, so do you really think there will be pursuing soldiers?”

I freeze for a moment. Yes …… maybe, people simply do not care? If there is no pursuing soldiers, will my quiet fleeing seem too embarrassing ……

Yan Xiao Wu is right. We have stayed outside the city for three days. Not to mention pursuing soldiers, not even a sound comes through from the palace. It is like missing a nameless small palace maid who no one cares.

As it turns out, I think too highly of myself. I start to laugh.

Actually, I have told Liu Xi a long time ago that, I do not want to be an imperial physician. “This is my life ah, nothing can be done about it …… I don’t want to be grandfather’s granddaughter! I don’t want to be an imperial physician!” While I was tearing the medical books, I was crying into the air.

He said: “I also don’t want to be the emperor’s son. I don’t want to be a prince.”

I winked and said: “Then you can become the emperor. After you’ve become the emperor, you can grant me an amnesty. Thus my son, my grandson and I will not need to become imperial physician in the future!”

He smiled, the dimples at the corner of his lips appearing faintly, like a spring pond that has been caressed by the breeze. “It is not easy to be an emperor. I don’t want to be a prince. I also don’t want my child to be like me in the future. I don’t want my wife to be like my mother.”

I was momentarily stumped for words and mumbled to myself: “Then you don’t be like your father in the future, to take so many wives and give birth to so many kids. My situation is different. My grandfather, knowing clearly that I’m not suitable to be an imperial physician, also had to force me to study medicine. If I can’t heal someone, that would be a crime of “deception of the emperor”, and I’d be beheaded. My child will also have to inherit my sad fate in the future. Thinking about it, I also don’t dare to give birth ….”

Liu Xi smiled. “You think too far ahead.”

“Otherwise, you go and become a vassal king. Then ask the emperor for me so that I can leave here. After that, you set me free ……” I was elated thinking about a bright future.

He looked at me for a long time with his calm eyes before gently nodding his head and said: “Ah.”

In the end, he became the emperor and really set me free. Liu Xi, I’ve wronged you. In fact, you are a good man, so good until I want to cry. You are so good, making me look bad ah! If I had known earlier, I would have left earlier! There is no need to wait until now! Seeing that you’ve married and settled down, taken some wives and you’re going to have a kid, my good deeds have culminated into a successful conclusions and I’ve finished what I started.


5 of 7 Main story segments

28 thoughts on “Your Humble Servant is Guilty! – Chapter 5

  1. I want her to be free and happy but what about the emperor? What about his happiness? Cant they be happy together?

  2. Thank you for the update. It’s such a shame she didn’t fall for the emperor.

  3. I’ve tried so many terms in order to find the title.

    Originally, I thought it would be “奴才该死” since dramas always have this.
    And then I realized that your interpreted title was Your Humble Servant is Guilty!, and not Your Humble Servant Deserves to Die. So then I tried 奴才有罪. It still didn’t work so I tried 女仆有罪 which also didn’t work. I feel dumb.

    Anyways, thanks for the chapter.

  4. Oh, you are not dumb. In fact, you are pretty close but nothing is easy in Chinese 😛

    Aiya, be patient la, the last chapter & the title will be revealed soon. Heehee, I m just trying to train the readers to be more patient since this is only a short story 😛

    I hope you’ll feel better if I tell you the ending should be to your satisfaction 🙂

    • it’s a really sweet ending, but damn if the MC isn’t incredibly thick lol

    • Are you trying to train us like the emperor did to Imperial Physician Song? “Give you a piece of sugar to eat, promise you spouse’s status and a future?” I’m just trying to figure out which part of the story is the sugar . . .

  5. So many words in Chinese are similar but have subtle differences. 我不甘心啊! Still, I’ll wait patiently for your translation.

    I do feel better now that you tell me that the ending should be good. Thanks again.

  6. Thank you for the chapter peanuts!

  7. Thanks for the chapter! I don’t think the emperor is quit as complacent about her departure as she thinks.

  8. Thanks for the chapter. Seriously, I don’t think she can escape so easily.

  9. Thank you for this chapter, peanuts!

  10. Thank you….she has not been captured after 3 days…

  11. Thankies for the update~

    I’m relieved you commented ‘the ending should be to our satisfaction’. After seeing/reading ancient palace stories, I share Ling Shu’s fear of becoming an Emperor’s wife. It’s never easy. The worst thing that could happen is to be handed a poisoned wine by your husband himself… That’s too cruel.

  12. Dear Peanut
    Thank you very much.

  13. woo found the chinese raws

    it’s amazing how many ways there are of referring to youself as ‘your humble servant’ in chinese -。-

  14. I google translated once with FTBFTY. Never regretted it but a part of me just kind of shrivelled away and died at the alphabet soup. So yes, I felt awful proud when I found the chinese title, but I’m gonna take heed of your advice and stick with your translation 😛

  15. Thank you so much!! 😘😘😘

  16. Thanks for translating. After reading some heavy stories about life in the palace, this is a welcome relief with a dull witted female lead, who just wants to be happy. I hope she finds happiness.

  17. I been wondering for a while but does she even love him??? Even a little? Or is this self denial since there positions have a big gap? Or maybe she hates dying so much that she overlook love?? Lol either way the emperor has a long way to go to capture her heart… Poor guy… I am really curious how this will end in next 2 chapters lol

  18. Thanks again for your time – I’m wondering now what exactly the servant is guilty of . . .

  19. It is hinted in this chapter that Ling Shu has feelings for the emperor.
    Also, 3 days and they still haven’t been captured yet? The emperor wouldn’t be this calm, unless this is a part of his master plan for them to both leave palace life and live happily ever after outside, or, to somehow make Ling Shu his empress and one and only wife?

  20. Ling Shu really stick with the emperor and subject social hierarchy, would be tough for her to break that barrier. the emperor will have a lot of work trying to capture his maiden

  21. Thank You:)

  22. @Reishiki, it’s been hinted that they like each other since chapter 1. You just have to remember that she is an unreliable narrator. For example, when the emperor was being lovey-dovey with the concubine, she runs out b/c it was too stuffy inside. That is her being really jealous and unable to watch the two being together. And her thoughts of other concubines wanting to stab the pregnant concubine reflects her desire to stab the concubine.

    I can’t pinpoint why she denies her affection. I can identify a few factors that play into it but can’t be the root cause: 1. She fears him for some reason. I guess it comes from the fact that he had been somewhat cold to her until very recently from when he became emperor. She thinks he has changed and that she needs to maintain proper decorum with him now. 2. Her grandfather wants her to be with the martial arts but since he is more reliable.

    I don’t think she hates palace life. She only stated that she doesn’t want to be the Imperial doctor. She probably wants to leave because of that and her broken heart from the emperor.

    Thus i predict that she will end up staying with the emperor in the end.

  23. Thank you very much for the chapter. Really like this story, it makes me smile. She’s so single minded and funny. And thank you for saying that the end is a happy or good ending, I love those. 😀 . Read you again soon.

  24. I hope Yan Xiao Wu will have someone, too :p
    Thanks again, peanuts~

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