Fangirling Chinese Novels

Stewed Squid with Honey (蜜汁炖鱿鱼) — Chapter 4



At least she’s learned some stuff about gaming… kind of. LOL

Chapter 4 – Pro Gamer \(^o^)/

That entire match.

Tong Nian and her monitor both stayed under the blanket together. Obediently, she kept her eyes fixed on the screen, not daring to move her mouse in the slightest…


At six o’clock in the morning, Soy Milk was wakened by her phone call, and the excited tone in her voice was like she had been asked for her hand in marriage.

“… So, you really gamed with him?” Soy Milk yawned.

“Uh-huh!” Tong Nian’s girly little heart was spilling over far and wide. As she held her phone and called to mind everything, she even now felt a little shyly embarrassed. “I reckon he knew that I don’t really know how to play. He wouldn’t even let me come out of the brush and was especially protective of me…”

“……” Soy Milk had nothing he could say in response to that.

Even though he sucked at gaming, too, he still knew the basic concepts. In this type of game, you needed to keep on killing and keep on earning gold before you could buy items and before you could win the game.

So, there was no talk about “protecting” anyone. It was not like that guy was Lei Feng[1] [selfless person who was always willing to serve people].

He’s obviously snubbing your bad gaming skills, you know, my little missy? …

“But having him always protect me isn’t good either, right? Will I be too much of a burden?” Tong Nian began, of her own accord, to fall into self-criticism.

“… Uh, right… Uh… Supposedly, in this sort of game, there’s a support role.”

“Support role?”

“It’s… it’s one that helps people.” Soy Milk did not know whether this was correct or not and was arbitrarily making things up.

“Really? Like to help add HP [health points/health pool]? Or add MP [magic points/mana points]?” Tong Nian had only occasionally heard these mentioned by her other friends who played online games.

“More or less.” Soy Milk gave an “mm-hmm” and said again, “For sure, it should be more or less that. You go read the guide.”



And so, she hung up this phone conversation that had seemed like it had exuded pink bubbles of love.

Then, she began to prepare her gaming schedule for today.

Afternoon. Not there?

Fine, wait until the evening, then… Still not there?

Um, okay, she’d wait until the middle of the night, then…

She took advantage of this opportunity to go on the official website and study up on her Loli who rode around on a big cat. To her surprise, not only did the character have eight different attacks, she also had many other supplementary abilities… Grabbing a notebook, she began, with all seriousness, to record every capability as well as the various recommendations by people in the forums until the odds and ends she had jotted down filled several pages.


At three in the morning, the alarm beneath her pillow suddenly began to ring.

She sat up abruptly, scrambling to turn off the alarm. Then, hugging her blanket, she crawled over to the monitor and, with practiced movements, covered herself together with the monitor. Turn on the computer, log into the game, search… He’s there!

And furthermore, her invitation and his acceptance of it went unexpectedly smooth.

Very familiarly and easily now, she went into the character selection screen and found the Loli girl riding the big cat. Somewhat nervously and excitedly, she waited for the remaining nine people to make their selections. All of a sudden, there was a system message:

1 player has left the match. Please wait for a new player to join.

Huh? What happened?


A new player came to fill the spot.

The game screen loaded.


Tong Nian eagerly surveyed all around and discovered that he was by her side. Suddenly, in the open view of everyone, grunt’s body emitted a red nimbus, which disappeared after a second.



All her teammates fell over in surprise.

What in the world was going on? A system bug? The game hadn’t even begun and someone was already starting to use healing?

That couldn’t be right, that couldn’t be right… This wasn’t some online RPG [role-playing game] game, ah. This was a frickin’ eSport game, ah! Why would anyone need healing? … At the beginning, you brought along your own health potion. Later in the game, who even cared about HP or healing. Just kill, kill, kill, aaah!


When her spell had faded off, Tong Nian merrily cast another one of her healing spells on grunt again.



The suckiest part was…

g Shuai[2] [Cool and Suave g]? g Shuai? His Internet dropped?

Just frickin sh*t! I waited so long for grunt to finally come online…

Ya! Frick! g Shuai has been focusing on Tempest of the Sealed Chamber lately. For once he’s actually guest-appearing here in some of the league matches! Frick frick!!

Focusing on Tempest of the Sealed Chamber?

She wordlessly made note of this particular game. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.




In the darkness, Gun had just picked up a towel and stepped over. Drops of water dripped from the ends of his hairs, falling onto his shoulder and then continuing downwards. Because he had just finished showering, he had only arbitrarily slipped on a pair of jeans and had still not buttoned it yet.

And moreover, his upper body was unclothed as well.

“What the–?” He discovered that healing had been used on him. Lifting his eyes, he glanced at the screen.

Wasn’t that the little kid from yesterday? Why was he back again? He hadn’t even noticed earlier on.

Abandon the game? Too many points would be deducted for that.

Not abandon?


Yesterday, because everyone had known that there was a kid on the team who did not know how to play video games, they had nearly lost the match. Actually, he, alone, could unquestionably take on two expert players of the Grandmaster classification. However, “strength to withstand pressure” was actually a difficult thing to possess. After being fully aware that they had lost one person who could battle and, on top of that, in a match against experts, there inevitably had been some psychological pressure.


He offhandedly rubbed his hair with his towel. Those short, black hairs, which had been wiped of water droplets, were still damp and fell disheveled across his forehead. It seemed as if something gleamed in those deep black pupils, that all of a sudden, there was in them… amusement.


Unconsciously, the tip of his tongue licked his lower lip.

Having a troublemaker around might not be a bad thing. Four against five would be very exhilarating, right?




And so, inside the game, everyone watched as grunt headed directly towards the mid lane while that Loli character riding the big cat gaily followed right behind him, every five seconds tossing a healing spell onto the maxed-health grunt.

At the same time, on the team chat channel:

grunt: This kid belongs to me. I’ll be responsible for him. Everyone, just look after yourself…


Tong Nian could not help pressing her cheeks between her hands.

Silently, she squealed, “AH, AH, AH, AAAAH!” for a full three seconds.

Only after grunt had disappeared on the screen did she, with her chest thump-thumping away, speedily follow after him astride her big cat.

He said “kid belongs to me”! Belongs to me… belongs to me…

I belong to him…

Sob, sob, sob, sob.

I’ll definitely do a good job and keep adding HP for you!


In the team channel, all the teammates were relieved.

So grunt had brought one of his own to play? Then they wouldn’t concern themselves. grunt was making the guarantee, so it was certain they wouldn’t lose.

Yamate[3]: Haha. No worries, g Shuai. If he’s one of your own, then we get it.

Cookicooki: grunt! Please accept this lowly one’s bow! Joining K&K is my lifelong dream!

OneCardDoesAll: Hey ol’ g, it’s three in the morning and you’re not sleeping. You’re hanging here instead and you’ve even brought an ID along with you. You wouldn’t be playing with a girl, eh? Hahahaha.


Tong Nian’s cheeks blushed a rosy colour, very embarrassed by all the teasing.

Since everyone’s saying something, I should say a few words, too, right?


And so, a few seconds later, everyone saw grunt’s “kid who belongs to me” say on the chat screen:

SoDamnGoodLookin[4]: (>^ω^<) Meow. This is Little Squidie. Thanks for watching out for me.


Yamate: ……

Cookicooki: ……

OneCardDoesAll: … Hahahaha. Hi…


Tong Nian was bewildered.

Riding her big cat, she followed closely after grunt. Is it because the screen name I’m using with this ID isn’t a good one? They don’t seem very friendly?

The name, SoDamnGoodLookin, was indeed… too…

grunt: ……

… So, should I sign-up again for another account? Wait for me? Ten minutes, at most!

grunt was silent.


grunt interrupted her: Add HP. Don’t stop.

Oh, oh. Uh-huh, uh-huh. I guarantee I’ll accomplish my task!


She instantly became alert and fell into combat-readiness, her eyes staring unblinkingly at her screen. As long as her healing ability level indicated it was okay, she would immediately release it onto grunt. Thus… the entire time, all nine people who were present watched as the maxed-HP grunt continually emitted halo after halo of red glow…

Everyone… Hehehehehe…

g Shuai… sure knows how to get his kicks of romance…


[1] 雷锋Lei Feng (1940-1962) was a soldier in the People’s Liberation Army. Known for his selflessness, he was declared as a role model to the people, that they should “learn from Lei Feng.” This name has become symbolic of modesty, selflessness, and devotion.

[2] 帅 “shuai.” This word is an adjective used most often to describe men or manly attributes (though occasionally you will see it used on women, too). You often see it translated as “handsome.” It actually describes not just physical appearance but manner, bearing, or actions as well. In general, it carries connotations of “cool,” “attractive,” “charismatic,” “suave,” etc. This same word is also the title given to a commander-in-chief. Here, the “g” is for “grunt” and “shuai” acknowledges his very “cool” high-level status as a gamer.

[3]鸭灭爹 “ya mie die.” Literally translated, this would be “duck wipes out dad,” but it is actually a Chinese transliteration of “yamate,” the Japanese word for “stop it!”

[4]帅的一B “Shuai De Yi B.” The “shuai” is the same word used in the address for grunt, g Shuai, and means “handsome,” “attractive,” “charismatic,” “cool,” etc. “Yi B” or literally “one B” is Chinese slang for “extremely,” roughly equivalent to how we would use “so ridiculously.” In this case, this moniker that Tong Nian borrowed could translate as “So Ridiculously ‘Shuai’” or the translation I’ve used in the text is “So Damn Good Looking,” which has some artistic discretion.


1 of 1 Prologue
4 of 49 Chapters
0 of 1 Epilogue

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23 thoughts on “Stewed Squid with Honey (蜜汁炖鱿鱼) — Chapter 4

  1. Tsh, she is so clueless! I am looking forward to when she realizes he thought she was a little kid 😄

    • She is a sweetie, but she really doesn’t get it when it comes to people. LOL. When she realizes… haha…

  2. Soy milk is such a great BBF, letting TN indulge in her own little world

  3. Tnx for the Chapeter! Cheeers

  4. I like that she just wades on in, without a care in the world – as all the onlookers are mildly horrified at the noob that their idol now has to protect and look after. I look forward to when she reveals herself as a girl and not the 10 year old boy he thinks she is. 😀 Thanks for the chapter!!

    • I LOL’d at the “meow.” Can you imagine what all those gamers, who are cussing left and right, might be thinking? The progression of their relationship is taking a slightly different turn soon…
      Thanks for reading!

  5. I took back what i said. Rofl she really made may day. A clueless and ignorant one actually can be this amusing. I look forward for her next actions xD

    • Haha, this chapter is quite funny. Every time I try to visualize gun’s demon character just glowing and glowing and glowing, I laugh. Glad you decided to give her a chance. 🙂
      See you next post!

  6. i was laughing so hard with the halo thing =D

  7. I just can’t lol!! Here I was thinking she would finally be equipped for battle after the studying, but nope she went for HP instead *smh* *facepalm* She also thinks he’s protecting her??!! He doesn’t even know who the heck he’s playing with….. *sighs* I’m waiting for her to realise all of these lol!!

  8. “This kid belongs to me.” I had my silly grin throughout haha ❤
    Thanks a lot, hoju~

  9. Hahaha. I’ve been laughing non stop….I’m so glad I picked up this novel. This is exactly what i need in my life right now. Thanks hoju for spreading the joy.

  10. oh em gee! hahaha I cannot for the life of me imagine myself doing what TN is doing. let me blush for her. lmao

  11. Wait! Im confused!! 😩
    She is “high IQ, low EQ” girl right????!!!
    Where is it??maybe wrong mc?hmmm.

  12. She is too clueless for her own good.

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