Fanatical

Fangirling Chinese Novels

Stewed Squid with Honey (蜜汁炖鱿鱼) — Chapter 39

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Tong Nian is going to game with Gun. How do you think things will go for our gaming idiot?

Chapter 39 – Bonjwa?

His tone sounded extremely displeased.

97’s voice began to stammer. “Sister-In-Law… said she was going to introduce me a girlfriend. That’s why we turned on the mics, so we could chat first—”

Before he had finished, the channel went completely silent.

?

Tong Nian was a little dazed. I said I was going to introduce a girlfriend to him?

Of course, her mind that had drifted away was quickly yanked back. The system was already beginning to assign the players on the opposing team. In the little chat room, the people who had been assigned by the system into the room were all in the same state as Yaya…

ImAGodYouKnow: Oh my mommy…

BrainDeadNumero7: Oh my dearest mommy…

KillLalala: … K&K?? All the gods have descended down to the mortal world?????

DieLalala: Gun???????

TheLittleMatchstickThatSellsGirls[1]: God Gun, please accept all the MMR I have accumulated for you over this last decade as well as my groveling bow on bended knees!!!!

……

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL hui3r.wordpress.com ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r.wordpress.com. If you are not reading this from hui3r.wordpress.com, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

While the feelings of the crowd were pumping excitedly, the two were actually busily having a private chat.

Lolicat: What type of gun should I select 0.0?

Gun: Whatever.

Lolicat: What will match and work well with you?

Gun: ……

Lolicat: 0.0?

Gun: Dagger.

Lolicat: Oh, oh! OK!

……

Yay, so awesome! Turned out the weapon most suitable for her was a dagger. Elatedly, she bought a dagger. Over in the all-chat, their opponents were still spamming the screen. Sitting beside her, Yaya finally recovered a tiny portion of her senses and tugged on her arm. “Gun really is your boyfriend?”

Tong Nian nodded and beamed at her. “I didn’t lie to you. He’s great at playing video games.”

……

Could “great” even be used to describe Gun?

That word, when used on him, was ridiculously pathetic, you know?!

Yaya’s tears were threatening to stream down her face. Back in the days of Team Solo, the captain, Solo, and the top sniper, appledog, had been together. In game, they had stood shoulder to shoulder, a match made by Heaven itself. Everyone had contrived that the ultimate reason for the dissolution of the team was because no woman could meet Gun’s standards, and he had eyes only for the gaming goddess, appledog… Now, however, from the looks of it, that was all a load of crap. God Gun did not care at all whether his girlfriend was a gaming master or not…

Let’s not even mention being a master…

She knew very well from experience what Tong Nian’s gaming skill level was—

Yaya pulled herself back together and focused. Her hands trembling slightly, she slid her eyes over the weapons that everyone had chosen. Though she could not see their other secondary items, she still had a general idea what role and strategy each was taking—besides Tong Nian. Yaya was baffled. “All you bought is a dagger?”

Tong Nian nodded in dead earnest. “Mm-hmm. I asked specifically. He said just buy this one.”

What… way of playing was this?

There was no time to dwell on this though. The system had begun the countdown to game-start and had automatically loaded the London city map.

The image on the screen switched.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL hui3r.wordpress.com ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r.wordpress.com. If you are not reading this from hui3r.wordpress.com, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

Very soon, a picture appeared before Tong Nian’s eyes of post-war London, utterly destroyed, with ruins of buildings everywhere. As she gazed upon the several people inside the scene, she suddenly felt as if her blood was roiling. It’s time to game! Clench fists! Must focus and play well!

97: Sister-In-Law’s classmate, come. I’ll take you along.

grunt: 97, you take southeast, I’ll take northwest. Sweep it clean. Don’t make trouble for me.

97: Screw you, punk. It’s YOU who shouldn’t make trouble for ME. You’ve never been higher than me on the leaderboard, yet still so cocky.

grunt: Whooooa. With a girl around, you’re acting tough now, you, the forever little bachelor.

……

Yaya had a feeling like she was utterly going to faint.

This sort of situation, where she was on the same team as professional gamers and watching them as they took jabs at one another, was like… she had abruptly joined a professional gaming team and a professional eSports organization, that she was suddenly one step closer to that world. As a longtime gaming fan, she soon slipped into form, forcing herself to remove herself from those feelings of exhilaration and try her best to keep up with 97.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL hui3r.wordpress.com ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r.wordpress.com. If you are not reading this from hui3r.wordpress.com, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

They had all left already?

Tong Nian tilted her head to the side to glance at the scene in Yaya’s screen. She had already run to the roof of a building?

Lolicat: Where are we going?

Gun: Open a separate voice chat.

Lolicat: Oh, oh, ok.

She accepted Gun’s invitation for a private voice chat.

In her headset, she heard the sound of typing, or that was what it seemed? He was using more than one computer? Working?

Lightly, Tong Nian asked, “Can you hear me?”

He gave a faint answer, then told her, “Follow my instructions. Move and control your character.”

Tong Nian immediately straightened her sitting position. “Mm.”

“See those ruins of that church on your left?”

“Yup, see it.”

“Walk over. Let me know when you get there.”

“Mm.”

She was still not very proficient with using the keyboard to control her character to walk, so she used her mouse instead. Hop after hop, she moved the character over and soon arrived at that place. “Alright.”

From within the headset, he seemed to hear that she was using her mouse. “Still don’t know how to use the keyboard?”

“… I’m still not very good at it… Seems the mouse is easier, right?” Why did she have to use the keyboard?

In the headset, after a long moment of silence, he realized that his task was actually onerous and extremely challenging. Of course, what was being challenged was his patience… “In front of you, there’s a flight of twenty-nine stairs. W is to move forward, space bar is to jump. Pressing both will let you jump forward. One step at a time, jump up the stairs.”

0.0? This was different from what she had played last time, ah…

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL hui3r.wordpress.com ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r.wordpress.com. If you are not reading this from hui3r.wordpress.com, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

So…

Even when the game had come to an end…

Those opponents did not even get to see what corner the true God Gun was in and what he was doing.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL hui3r.wordpress.com ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r.wordpress.com. If you are not reading this from hui3r.wordpress.com, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

On the southeast side, 97, with Yaya in tow, had encountered three enemies and a fight to the death had broken out. On the northwest side, grunt had easily finished off two opposing players, like he was cutting two blades of grass. Gun’s character, having nothing to do, sat on the steps with sniper rifle in hand, constantly adjusting his visual field and angle to see if there were unnecessary persons nearby while, at the same time, directing the kid beside him in learning…

… how to hop up a set of stairs…

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL hui3r.wordpress.com ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r.wordpress.com. If you are not reading this from hui3r.wordpress.com, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

[1] 卖女孩的小火柴. In Guo Jingming’s novel, 《梦里花落知多少》Never-Flowers in Never-Dream, there is a woman whose name in Chinese translates literally as “Little Matchstick.” She traffics women and girls and would often say she was “the little matchstick that sells girls.” That saying is actually a play on the title《卖火柴的小女孩》, which literally translates as “The Little Girl who Sells Matches” and is the Chinese title of Hans Christian Andersen’s Little Match Girl. The saying more often now is used in a joking context.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL hui3r.wordpress.com ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r.wordpress.com. If you are not reading this from hui3r.wordpress.com, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

Completed:
1 of 1 Prologue
39 of 49 Chapters
0 of 1 Epilogue

29 thoughts on “Stewed Squid with Honey (蜜汁炖鱿鱼) — Chapter 39

  1. She’s even worse than I thought. Got to love her though. Even after all her reading up on him she’s still completely clueless when it comes to the mechanics of gaming. Gun, save your sanity and just stick to video chats.

    Thanks for the chapter.

  2. Tq for this chap. Hop & hop i will wait for the next chap

  3. To short .. but thank for the chapter

  4. Lmao…too funny! Patience is some something he needs abundant of! Thank you.

  5. This two is so adorably funny! It kind of feel shorter or is it just me? Anyways, thanks as usual Hoju!

  6. God Gun somehow can master to be patient thru Tong Nian, lol😜😜. Hopefully he won’t run out. Thank you, hoju..enjoy your holiday!

  7. awww…gun teach her to play,,hihihi,,tq for update…

  8. Ooo, 97 is stepping up!

  9. I told myself to wait until next month when the whole story finished…yet here I am.

    T_T

    T_T

    T_T

    Someone save me, please…

    • me too i wanted the story to be finished first before reading but ended up reading it sooner than i t thought…lol

    • The story is irresistible!!! I too could not wait!!! It’s my happy slice of life. From my real crazy beautiful life. Lol oh man can’t wait to reread this when its all done!!! Thank you hoju and peanuts.

      • Me too. Well, 11 chapters left. let’s regroup y’all to prepare and sent the most beautiful farewell to our game couple. I start missing them already. Hope to see you all again in Saturday when I’m having another temporary amnesia.

      • i am 100% sure i have to reread after its done…and i think i will read it over and over till i memorise those cheesy cutie encounter of the leads…ba ha ha ha ha..

  10. She is really testing his patience😂 love the last line😂😂😂

  11. Thank you….that is love….

  12. OMG…what love can do to the professional gamer …lol…good thing i am not drinking water in front of my pc i would have sprayed all the water on my screen…i can’t help laughing so hard at the same got that a little tinge in my heart…aww that was sweet…one thing i love that she is really a genius programmer and already a special one on our leader…awww…
    thanks for the update…i’ve been waiting for this…

  13. Gun may come across a very bad temper n lack of patient type of guy but with TN, he is trying is patient with TN. I find that kind of cute of him.

  14. Hoju u can’t do this!! This is too short!! Gimme gimme mommy 😂
    Thanks gor the chapterrr

  15. It’s just too sweet and funny..
    Why would he do such thing that test his patience to its limit… lololol

    Hope you enjoy your holiday Hoju..
    Thank you for this chapter xoxo

  16. Thank you for your translation. This couple is hilarious.

    @Hoju
    What is MMR in the below sentence? a kind of weapons?

    TheLittleMatchstickThatSellsGirls[1]: God Gun, please accept all the MMR I have accumulated for you over this last decade
    as well as my groveling bow on bended knees!!!!

    • I hope you don’t mind me answering. MMR is matchmaking rating. You increase or decrease it as you win or lose battles and it basically indicates your skill level. So this is referring to all the points TheLittleMatchstickThatSellsGirls has racked up in 10 years.

    • 🙂 Glad urbanscrappy was able to help you out. And here I thought I’d put it in brackets enough that I could drop it this time.😉 LOL

  17. Haha patience…who told you to invite her to the game, can’t expect a lot from a newbie

  18. Hello! Newcomer commenter here kkk.

    I planned to read this after it reached conclusion but I cannot wait and end up reading it 😅

    Gun must have great patience if he’s going to teach Tong Nian gaming😄

    “Gun’s character, having nothing to do, sat on the steps with sniper rifle in hand, constantly adjusting his visual field and angle to see if there were unnecessary persons nearby while, at the same time, directing the kid beside him in learning…

    … how to hop up a set of stairs…”

    I laughed so hard at this you don’t even know X”””D

    Anyway thank you for the updates♡

  19. Gun never has any patient with any of team members but when it come to Tong Nian he has immensely full of patient..in a way, he had no choice…He knew that since from that moment he agreed not to break up with Tong Nian that show Gun begin to fall for Tong Nian (I hope)😛

  20. Lol Nian Nian still has a long way to go.
    Thanks a lot, hoju~

  21. I’m shocked that Yaya still hasn’t noticed that 97 was looking for a girlfriend😉

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