Fangirling Chinese Novels

My Darling (我的曼达林) — Chapter 3.3


For all who celebrate, happy Easter!

I had to LOL at the compliment of “Your eyes are so pretty, like a cow’s eyes.” Would any of you ladies be impressed with that one?

This! Is! A! Turning! Point!

Chapter 3.3 — You and Me, Together (3)

Out in the hallway, Xie Bin, who was still holding the garment, narrowly escaped getting his fingers crushed by the door that had banged shut.

Scared by this, he took two steps back. With a glance at Tong Fei, whose head was still lowered as she continuously chatted away on WeChat using three different mobile phones, he asked quietly, “Do those two have a chance?”

Tong Fei pondered for a moment, then whispered back, “That friend of mine really does view that one of yours as family. But that can also be the foundation for a relationship—he’s got the advantage of proximity to her[1]. But that one of yours is just too overbearing. All he knows is to force her to not have a boyfriend, force her to eat, force her to see him. It’s not like that friend of mine was born a maso and likes being abused… Go and accept some more projects for him that are romance movies. Maybe he will be a little better after that.”

“He hates doing kissing scenes. You tell me, how am I supposed to accept romance movie projects for him? Even if I get him one that’s a human-ghost romance, there’ll still be kissing scenes.”


Xie Bin continued murmuring, “Think I can pay her so that, last-minute, she’ll decide to stay here and be with Jian Bianlin?”

Tong Fei snapped, “Get lost, you. That’s crossing the line.”

Xie Bin clarified, “It’s just to keep Jian Bianlin company, to help him get past this hurdle. But that friend of yours, her heart is too callous. She doesn’t leave even the tiniest bit of wiggle room in this. This is a very critical period, eh.”

By his ear, Tong Fei murmured, “I express my deepest sympathies, but every person is an independent individual. It just depends on how and whether fate brings them together.”

After Tong Fei finished saying this, she felt that something was wrong. By what right did he have to say that Chu Jian was in the wrong?

She leaned over to his ear again and whispered, “That friend of mine, her heart is not callous at all. I cried for one night, and then she went and sold her apartment and gave me two million to start up my production company. She’s the textbook example of someone who gives in to the soft approach but resists coercion, you know?”

With a wry smile, Xie Bin shook his head. “But with the type of person that Jian Bianlin is, making him plead with someone or ask for help is even harder than making him go die.”

“So that’s what you call ‘two people who are absolutely not made to be a match.’”

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

“Bin Ge[2]!” That person who had come looking for Xie Bin earlier had circled back again. “Hurry! The organizers are asking you, is it okay if Ying Chen and Jian Bianlin walk the red carpet together?”

Xie Bin answered rather impatiently, “That’ll be just too weird. Two men walking the red carpet together? I’ll call them in a bit to discuss.”

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

Chu Jian retracted her hand. So Xie Bin was actually just outside the door.

Through the door, she had vaguely heard a male and a female voice speaking outside, but she had not been able to distinguish them. With that person’s shout, though, she now knew. Likely, the man and woman talking outside were Xie Bin and Tong Fei. Turning her head back, she wanted to instruct, “Don’t say anything. Just go stand further back in the room.” There were people just on the other side of the door, and it would be awkward if those people heard anything.

As if obliging her way of thinking, someone outside the door gave another cry of “Bin Ge.”

His whereabouts once more exposed, Xie Bin was a little irate. “Just stop shouting. I’m going now.”


© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

“Chu Jian.” Jian Bianlin called her name.

It was rare—especially rare—for Jian Bianlin to address her by name. She had forgotten when was the last time he had done so.

Her hand was still holding the metal knob. Warm air fanned out from the heat vents with sounds of whirr, whirr. Despite that she was quite some distance away from the vents, the air blew into her neckline, the openings at her sleeve cuffs, and every other place that allowed air in, seemingly changing from warm to cold in the process and causing her entire body to feel chilled.

“It’s okay. No matter what you say right now, I won’t take any of it to heart.”

She was scared of him, scared that his emotions would be too volatile, and then they would quarrel again.

“I did indeed lie to you.”

“… It’s no big deal.”

Sensing her emotional strain, he did not dare touch her.

“There are a lot of things in our past where I was the one at fault.” His right palm was pressed against the door, and as he leaned his forehead against the back of that hand, his voice carried a never-before-heard dejectedness. “This time, I am in the wrong, too. I’m sorry. I had wanted to just continue refusing surgery and allow my condition to turn more serious—to make you feel guilty, to make your heart soften and give in, to make it so that you would stay by my side. I know I promised you long ago that if you gave me some time, I would be able to adjust myself to the reality. But I tried! I honestly can’t do it. Since I was five, we’ve been together. You and my dad—I only have the two of you who are closest to me. If either one of you were to leave me, I wouldn’t be able to take it…”

Her heart felt as if something was clenching it.

It was to the point that she dared not even breathe and merely looked dazedly at him.

Was this really him? She had known him for twenty-two years now, but never before had he been like this. Words like “I can’t take it” or “I’m sorry” had never been spoken from him before. Even when he had gotten into that huge trouble, even in his most depressed times, he had never said them. He was someone who never conceded, never admitted his mistake.

“I can’t take it, Chu Jian. I’m sorry…”

With his own hand, Jian Bianlin opened the door for her.

In the short period from when the door had been pulled open by just a crack to when it was open wide, her heart had softened unbearably.

But after holding herself back for a long time, she still ended up not saying a single word.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

Jian Bianlin could not escort her back. He could not even see her out the door.

Although no one could go upstairs in this hotel without a room key card, there was still a risk at all times of being photographed by outsiders.

Chu Jian left alone. Standing in the elevator lobby, she saw several hotel employees, talking and laughing amongst themselves, discussing in low tones how many celebrities had come here today and for what fashion event. They even conversed quietly about things like who looked good in real life, what was different about them between real life and onscreen, and were they wearing shoe lifts? …

Only when she was down in the main lobby of the hotel did Chu Jian remember that she had left without telling Tong Fei.

In the lobby, there were many people completing check-in and check-out procedures, and outside, some people who looked to be students could be seen standing guard, undoubtedly waiting for the actors and celebrities who were upstairs. The glass door was pushed open. Wind suddenly gusted in, carrying a penetrating chilliness. With her hand against that thick glass, she also pushed the door open and stepped outside.

Her mobile phone vibrated in her pocket, and she pulled it out. It was Jian Bianlin.

She paused blankly.

Two people outside were trying to go into the hotel but she was blocking their way, so they quietly said, “Miss, excuse us.” With a “sorry” in answer, Chu Jian dazedly moved out of the way, taking two steps sideways to stand in front of the hotel’s outer glass wall. She pressed the answer button.

From her mobile phone, the sound of running water was heard. It seemed he was in the washroom or the shower area. He was quiet, not speaking at all.

Worried that the gusting wind was too fierce and would obscure her words, she turned to face the glass wall. Softly, she soothed him, “Why don’t you go and get some rest first? You still have an event this evening…”

“Let me try, just one last time.” The running water sounds disappeared. The sound of his breathing could clearly be heard. That sound—somewhat unsteady and very much deliberately restrained—was even a little louder than his voice as it traveled, breath by breath, out from her phone. “If it doesn’t work out, I will let my heart give up.”

She forgot that she needed to shield her phone. The wind whipped into the receiver. On the other end, he was also waiting.

Here, in this moment, she felt as if she had once again returned to that dimly lit stairwell of that day when she was still in middle school. Her feet on two stair steps, she had mustered up her courage to tell Jian Bianlin, who had still been locking up the bicycles, “I actually honestly don’t like you in that way…” All her guilt had begun with that day. From when he had stared wordlessly at her, not refuting her in any way, she had felt that she owed him something.

All these years, she had tried every method—refusing him, avoiding him, fading out of his life, distancing herself from him, giving him time to calm down, refusing him again—all to no avail.

It was as he had said—if he did not try, it would forever be like a knot in his heart that could not be undone.

“If it doesn’t work out—”

“If it doesn’t work out, I’ll let my heart give up.” His breathing was growing increasingly shallow, like he was repressing something beneath it, to the point that Chu Jian felt as if she was going to suffocate, too.

Chu Jian paused in silence for a long while. “I… will think about it.”

The call was hung up. She had originally planned on hailing a taxi, but her mind was in too much of a jumble right now.

So, she walked from the Expo Park all the way to Riverside Promenade[3] alongside the Huangpu River.


Walking distance from the Shanghai World Expo Park to the start of Riverside Promenade (Binjiang Avenue) that runs along the Huangpu River is approximately 6 km or more, depending on where along the avenue Chu Jian walked to, and the walk takes an hour or more. (The map is showing the starting point of the avenue.) (Image credit left. Image credit right is Google Maps)

Midway through, she even called her mother. When the phone was answered, on that end, her mom was scolding her dad for buying some green vegetables that had been picked too late in harvest and were not fresh and tender.

After listening for a full three minutes to how to differentiate chrysanthemum greens, Chu Jian put on a casual tone and asked, “How did you end up marrying dad? He’s so slow. You were relying on true love?”

“True love? Who had true love with him? I’d only seen him three times, and every time, he’d brought his nephew along on the dates, too. The whole time, I was the one who talked. Your dad only gave me one compliment: ‘Your eyes are so pretty, like a cow’s eyes.’ He even said he’d been on seven different matchmaking dates that had all ended in failure, and if I didn’t want him either, he would just not get married.” Her mom’s laughter was cheery. “At that time, I thought, ‘Oh no, if I don’t take him, he’s going to commit suicide.’ So, I gritted my teeth and agreed.” Her mom harped on, “You young people just don’t understand. People’s way of thinking back then was very simple.”

Chu Jian exchanged a few more vague sentences with her and then hung up.

Her feet were so sore from all the walking. Flagging down a taxi, she went back and got out at the gate of the community compound that she lived in. The seafood shop that she frequented was closed today. She knocked on the door. When the female shop owner saw that it was her, she let her in.

The auntie-like shopkeeper immediately prepared for her a smorgasbord of foods that Chu Jian normally ate—all sorts of conch, shellfish, and oyster.

“Where’s your big brother?” That shopkeeper auntie set down by Chu Jian’s hand a half-glass of plum wine with greengages in it.

She answered, “He’s in Pudong district right now for an event.”

The shopkeeper went off and carried on with her busy work.

Last year, Jian Bianlin had come to visit her here in Shanghai. She had actually been in Beijing scouting shop locations for her business, though, so he had ordered her some seafood takeout from this shop. When she returned late at night, the female shopkeeper had pulled them into the shop, and they had devoured a huge meal. At the time, he had said that he was Chu Jian’s older brother, presumably because he had been worried someone might leak the scoop to the media.

Chu Jian continued devouring away that mound of strawberry conch.

Shell after empty conch shell was spread out on the ginger-coloured wood table. She did not speak, sparing no effort as she ate. She was forcing herself, telling herself silently that after eating all of this stuff here, she had to make a decision.


© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

During this time, Jian Bianlin was still walking the red carpet.

Nothing had really changed.

Jian Bianlin’s expressions tonight looked normal as he strode down that red carpet. As usual, the actress who walked it with him was not able to hold onto his arm. He still very dutifully accepted interview questions, still spoke so few words that it was woeful, and, when he stepped into the event venue, still worked cooperatively with the media and their cameras but still did not really like smiling…

Anyway, there was no real significant change.

It was just that, as he sat in his seat in the middle of the second row, conversing casually with an actor he had collaborated with in his previous film, he absentmindedly was taking apart slowly that dark blue pen he had brought with him. His hand was laden with the pen’s cap, tip, chamber, barrel, and hood cap.

After he was done taking it apart, he weighed the parts in his hand for a bit, then reassembled them again…

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

Amongst the people attending this event tonight, there were quite a few who had made their starts as singers, but very few were like him, someone who had started as a lead singer in a band but later switched to become a movie actor. And because the event was being live-broadcasted, it was, of course, not unusual for the currently popular male celebrities to be called on to help liven things up.

The event organizer and Xie Bin had already discussed ahead of time that there would be a slot in the program for Jian Bianlin. The video clip of it would be uploaded to the live, online feed as well as used for promotional purposes.

His original song selection had been a Mandarin one, the theme song of a movie he had acted in, but when Jian Bianlin finished walking the red carpet, he had decided to switch to sing the Cantonese version of Half-Moon Serenade.

A microphone was handed up to him in front of his face. The pen in Jian Bianlin’s hand had been dismantled for the thirty-seventh time into little separate bits. Standing backstage, he took advantage of the moment when a staff member was helping him put on his in-ear monitor to slip that pile of bits and pieces into the pocket of his dress pants.

With a strange look at him, the staff member nodded, indicating that everything was ready.

The spotlights on the stage did not follow him, focusing instead on his band and the piano accompanist, and this allowed him to feel less uncomfortable. Slowly, he sang in a low voice. It was only when the song approached its chorus that the lyrics gradually became clear.

[0:58] “Never had I thought that we would break up…

[1:08] But each second, each moment, she still possesses my heart.
[1:30] The one whom I always think of, the one whom I hope for, until forever.”

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

In that seafood shop that was not open for business…

Chu Jian sat on the tatami with her head down, still using a toothpick to solemnly, a little at a time, deal with the strawberry conch that was in the white, porcelain dish.

The very last one.

The meat was stuck too tightly. She had tried many times but was still unable to poke it out.

Her motions were too forceful, and catching her completely off guard, the toothpick snapped in two in her hand.

She froze in surprise. In that instant, many things were called up in her mind: Xie Bin telling her in a grave voice about his complicated illness; the apologies Jian Bianlin had confessed to her as his hand held the door shut; and, at the end, his almost pleading request of “Let me try, just one last time. If it doesn’t work out, I will let my heart give up” …

Chu Jian set down the last conch shell.

Feeling for the box of napkins at the corner of the table, she pulled out several napkins and wiped each one of her fingers clean.

In her mobile phone, on her WeChat chat history screen with him, the last message was still the one word of “sorry” that he had sent to her in Hangzhou.

Holding her breath, she typed out many words. Delete, delete, revise, revise. Revise, revise, delete, delete.

Her heart was pounding furiously. Her throat was so tight it felt dry. She had to summon up her courage several times until, finally, she sent him a single word:


© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

[1] 近水楼台 “jin shui lou tai.” Literally, this means “a pavilion that is at the waterfront.” The full saying is actually 近水楼台先得月 “a pavilion by the waterfront gets the moonlight first.” Like those who can see the moonlight first because the pavilion they are in is by the waterfront and unobstructed, a person in a favourable position will have special advantages. Jian Bianlin has the advantage of having grown up with Chu Jian, so he holds a special place in her heart that no other man has.

[2]哥 “ge.” The most literal translation of this is “big brother.” However, it is also a way to address a man either older or more senior than you. The “ge” used after Xie Bin’s given name here is likely an acknowledgement of his experience and status in the industry, and hence, literally translating it as “big brother” would not be appropriate.

[3]滨江大道 ”Binjiang Dadao.” Binjiang Avenue, or Riverside Promenade, is a 2500-m long pedestrian avenue in Shanghai.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

Additional Comments:

Woohoo! She’s agreed to give him a chance.

So, the song featured in this chapter is one of my absolute favourites. The Cantonese version was originally sung by Hacken Lee in the 80s. The one I’ve linked in the main story is my favourite vocal rendition of it, sung by Rocky Chan, a Hong Kong singer whose debut was in 2014’s season of Voice of China with this performance of Half-Moon Serenade. The voice is just mesmerizing in it. Unfortunately, the second verse was excluded from this performance, but I have included it in my translation of the lyrics below.

However, many, many novel fans have said that Li Yifeng’s performance is, to them, a “real-life Jian Bianlin,” so I thought I would include it here, too. Personally, I can’t picture Li Yifeng, here, as Jian Bianlin. It has nothing to do with how good or bad he sang, but rather, as a Canto speaker, I can catch Li Yifeng’s very noticeable accent, which was rather distracting to me since Jian Bianlin is a native Cantonese speaker. Also, more than once, Jian Bianlin has been mentioned as wearing black ball caps, black hoodies, black sneakers, etc., which gives me the feeling that his artiste image is a bit more of a cool, maybe even bad boy, one. Although the text does mention that Jian Bianlin is wearing dress pants at the event, I feel like Li Yifeng’s performance is still a little too prim and proper and gentlemanly to fit Jian Bianlin, be it in his vocal performance or attire. Rocky Chan’s singing sounds more like what I would imagine Jian Bianlin’s to be. Jian Bianlin is taciturn, but I feel his singing would carry a sense of forcefulness, strength, and passion, like an outlet for things he normally would not express in speech.

And while I’m at it, I’ll link you to another one of my favourite performances of this song. Rocky Chan’s is, to me, the most vocally impressive—it stands out because of the amazing singing, the expression and passion delivered across in the voice. This version, sung by Joey Yung, is my favourite as an overall package. The arrangement of the accompaniment and instrumentals are just so grand and give me chills just listening to them. (Plus, I find Joey is captivating on stage here—it’s like she owns it.)

Now, here are the translation of the lyrics, for anyone interested:


仍然倚在失眠夜 望天边星宿
In this sleepless night, still I gaze up at the constellations,
仍然听见小提琴 如泣似诉再挑逗
And still, I can hear the weeping of the violin, seemingly provoking, then mocking me.
为何只剩一弯月 留在我的天空
Why does only a single crescent moon remain hanging in my sky?
After this night, she will disappear from my life.

人如天上的明月 是不可拥有
People are like the sky’s moon. You cannot possess them.
情如曲过只遗留 无可挽救再分别
Our love is like a song that has passed by—it cannot be rescued, and we can only part ways.
为何只是失望 填密我的空虚
Why is only disappointment filling the void in me?
This night, there will be no kiss goodbye.

仍在说永久 想不到是借口
We had still been speaking vows of eternity, and never had I thought they were mere excuses,
Never had I thought that we would break up.

But each second, each moment, she still possesses my heart.
She is like this moon, still always unspeaking,
As the violin, solo, plays “The Half Moon of Late Autumn,”
我的牵挂 我的渴望 直至以后
The one whom I always think of, the one whom I hope for, until forever.


1 of 1 Prologue
10 of 36 Chapter segments
0 of 1 Epilogue


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65 thoughts on “My Darling (我的曼达林) — Chapter 3.3

  1. Did I get the sofa seat? 😀
    I read this in the living room with my whole family around, and I think I scared them with my reactions XD
    I’m so excited to find out what happens in the next chapter, CJ probably made JB’s whole night. I wanted to reach out and hug him when he called her, but at the same time I understand CJ’s hesitation.
    I loved CJ’s mom’s retelling of the reason for her marriage though, best story ever XD
    Thanks again for the translations!!

    • Close, close. The folding chair. 😁

      It’s because you can tell he genuinely cares for her. Yes, he can do better in terms of communicating that caring, but those feelings are genuine. Plus, with that phone call, you can tell that internally, he has realized he was wrong about that whole fighting incident and other things as well. It was a moment of vulnerability… and Chu Jian needed that. She is softhearted, and because of his choice to be vulnerable, she gave him the chance.

      I like her parents’ story. Love doesn’t have to be fiery and passionate or eve start with a spark. I have a firm belief that regardless of what form it came in, love needs to be constantly worked on, to keep the love alive and remind yourself why you chose your significant other. (Beautiful Bones!! Sorry, off topic and wrong novel.) And it illustrated to Chu Jian that the feelings may not be there at the beginning but it doesn’t mean they can’t develop. 🙂

      Thanks for reading.

      • I agree with you about ‘love needs to be constantly worked on” I just finished Beautiful Bones and thoroughly enjoyed it. Thank you for translating and incidentally I speak Cantonese but do not know to read the Chinese script.

        • Oh nice. Isn’t Beautiful Bones a completely different novel? Have you made your way through the whole blog and all the novels yet?

          If you speak it, you’ve got a good foundation. You could always try to learn how to read… 😉

          • Most of MBFB’s novels I have completed. I love her style and yes, BB is an entirely different novel. I love the way she brings out the love story between the characters, past and present. I like how she brings out the success of love relationship that is worked on. not just feelings but choices made to love and accept one another. I completed all of Gu Man’s stories on your blog. I love all her stories.
            I am working my way down the list in your blog.
            If you don’t mind and have the time to spare, we could communicate through emails. I would like to learn how to read the novels… ( I have picked up many vocabs and characters through these translation and comments of yours and Peanuts, and others on your blog. ) you guys are amazing.
            Thank you and enjoy your holidays.

  2. OMG. I am glad she is giving him a chance. Phew. Poor guy.

  3. yesss! she says Okayyy ;u;

    thank you for the chapter ❤

  4. For first time i coment in here… yeeeyyyyyyyyyt. .

  5. Hoju, are you in twitter? Because I really want to befriend you. That is a great taste of musics. Awesome.
    On another note, I wonder if JBL brought his phone to the show. That be amazing if the camera capture his smile. Lol.

    • How flattering, and thank you. Unfortunately, nope. I’m staunchly resisting getting a twitter account. LOL. So much social media…

      If the camera did capture it, everyone would probably be shocked. The guy rarely smiles, and I can bet that if he smiled when he saw that reply, it would be so genuine and happy it would be blinding.

  6. 😱 this is such a great ending to this week’s post. She finally agreed to his request! 😍😍😍😍 when part where he solemnly tell her about his illness and why he deliberately choose to delay the surgery, my heart nearly stopped…. I was screaming in my head (having reading it in the coffee shop over breakfast), I was screaming… CJ stop torturing him… please please please 🤣 loved the song too….

    Looks like our taste in music is similar Hoju 😍

    Have a blessed week ahead. Now counting down to Wednesday’s post 😘

    • That vulnerable moment of his on the phone really changed things for Chu Jian. He never admitted he was wrong and never showed his vulnerability, so when he did, her heart softened for him. It wasn’t pity, but more so, she was moved to give him a chance.

      Hehe… I like our taste in music. 😉

      See you next post!

  7. Yaaaaaay!!!!! I don’t know why I am so happy about his or feel so bad for Jian Bianlin. Chu Jian is well within her rights to not like him, but I feel like he’d die without her.

    I cannot wait until the next update. I wonder how they would date? Would anything actually change?

    Thanks for the update.

    • I understand. Logically, you know that Chu Jian is not doing anything wrong. As you said, it’s her right to not like him, and I don’t think she was callous or anything. However, you also see how genuine Jian Bianlin’s feelings are for her. He’s got his own set of flaws, but his care and love for Chu Jian are real and tangible, so you can’t help wishing for him that his wish will come true. As he said, if he lost either his dad or her, he wouldn’t know what he would do.

      Rome wasn’t built in a day, and change isn’t instantaneous. Even if they made instant changes, it would be forced. What I’m waiting for is when there are noticeable changes in their relationship that come naturally or genuinely because they want to, not because they’re supposed to. 🙂

      You’re welcome!

  8. Haha chu jian’s parents’ story is so funny
    Hooray for jian bianlin’s perseverance finally paying off
    thanks for the update 🙂 really appreciate you going the extra mile and posting the song and lyric translation too!

    • Tehe … there are stranger romances in this world.

      I think perseverance was a part of it, but the biggest part was making the choice to be vulnerable at the moment of the phone call. To admit fault and need makes you vulnerable— and there is something very genuine about that. Jian Bianlin had always been a very proud person, and that call was setting aside his pride and laying his heart bare before her, something he had not done before—that change in him touched Chu Jian.

      The translation of lyrics is a force of habit after Really, Really Miss You. 🙂 Hope they helped.

      Thanks for reading!

  9. Thanks for translating this chapter – and adding in all the musical extras! Will Chu Jian ever hear his performance or is it strictly for his own feelings?

    • You’re welcome!
      That last minute song switch was done for his own purpose, a way for him to vent some feelings. Chu Jian never hears it, although I wonder what her reaction would be if she did.

  10. i love older HK cantonese songs. Ive heard Joey’s version but actually did not know about Rockey’s ver. Thanks for introducing it.
    While a cow’s eyes really isnt very romantic but i agree that its so true that during their parents and our parents time- its much simpler.
    I also appreciate Tong Fei part- she reiterates once again that softer approach works better on Chu Jian. Really one needs to open one’s mouth and show your vulnerability to gain entry to one’s heart. Big clap clap for them both going in the right direction. Although not yet on the same page, atleast its not stalled like previously.

    • I do, too, second only to ancient-style songs.

      LOL. I meant, that statement isn’t all that romantic, but like Chu Jian’s mother, I think it’s cute, in a bumbling kind of way.

      The whole conversation between Tong Fei and Xie Bin was important. Xie Bin noted that it was easier for Uian Bianlin to go die than to plead to someone… but he pleaded to Chu Jian to give him a chance. He’s such a terribly proud person, but he set aside that pride for Chu Jian and made himself vulnerable. That really struck something in her heart, and that’s a huge reason why she was moved to give him a chance. He consciously made a step in a different direction, and that helped her move. See! Progress! 🙂

  11. yay the soft approach works

  12. That ‘okay’ response made me so happy for JB! This is your chance! Fighting!

    I feel like the chapter was very long or that’s just me but I was on edge the whole time watching out for the cliff 😂😂 and i was so glad that it at least got the response from CJ.

    And i like the dialogue from her mother too. I feel like you have to consider a lot of things nowadays before you try to like someone and sometimes it stops you from enjoying the feeling of liking or falling in love with someone.

    Thanks for your efforts Hoju! 😁😁

    Oh and btw will we be able to see a sweet JB and if so what kind iof sweetness will it be??

    • It definitely is one of the long chapters of the novel, although the last one was a similar length. I think this one might have seemed extra long because of a certain translator’s ramblings at the end. 😅

      Indeed, sometimes we consider too much or have too many expectations and don’t allow ourselves to see past all those considerations to the person beneath the outer appearances.

      Yes, he’ll still be a man of few words but how can he not be sweet? You will see!

  13. I feel like… have I been living under a rock all this time?? I love your translations, have I seriously not read them before? 😀 Would you… would you like to work together? Drop me an email at

  14. Yehey! 👏🏻😭 it really pays a lot to put all the good work 🤗 JB continue your good work. I will support you all the way☺️ Thank you CJ for accepting after everything happened. 😍

    Comparing someone to a cow’s eye is very funny, and some may find it insulting. Maybe the person delivering the line knows how to captivate a person he/she like, just like CJ parents. 😂

    • His heart had always remained with her. ❤️ Chu Jian has always known that. But here, he has chosen to be completely laid bare, to expose his insecurities to her. That won him his chance!

      Haha, I don’t find it insulting. If it were me, my first reaction would be “What in the world?” And then I’d find that person amusingly cute.

  15. Thank you for your translation. The song that you translated is seem to be heart broken one. He will be surprised for her answer.

    • You’re welcome!

      It is a sad song—quite appropriate for what Jian Bianlin was feeling at the moment. It will be a happy surprise for him!

  16. Cow eyes??!?! Ummm….that’s is one good way for your date to remember you…but I don’t think it’s the best way to be remembered. Lol

    And omg!!! I don’t know how much more anxiety and surprise my heart can take. But finally i see the light at the end of the tunnel! JB, you must wow CJ with the power of your love!!!

    And most importantly, Thank you for translating! 😂😊

    • That would certainly be a memorable compliment. Haha.

      They will need a bit of time, but you will come out of the tunnel. 🙂

      Thank you for reading!

  17. YYAAYYYY!!! The moment we’ve been waiting all story for…JB puppy finally gets his chance. Normally I’m excited for the romance, but this time I’m just happy that JB finally is given the chance that he’s wanted in his heart so badly.

    That and I now have that song on repeat. They just don’t make songs like that anymore….that somehow stay at you and grips at your heart…

    • Because without this chance, we know that things will never change. LOL at the “puppy.” “Baby Jian” and “Puppy Jian.” The guy is so quiet and aloof, but everyone wants to snuggle him and protect him. ❤

      I love that song. My little guy will request that I play the "Auntie Joey" version all the time.

  18. Waaaa… finally ^^ waiting for this for a long time. Thank you very much love it ❤

  19. Woohoo… Now he can begin to attack her heart hard way…

  20. Oh so happy ! I was reading this post at the dentists’ and he was wondering why I was smiling so happily just before a root canal😁😁 your translation is so awesome that I get all the feels, my heart dropped when he confessed he was intentionally exacerbating his illness to get her sympathy but I’m glad he confessed and she is going to give him a chance ! Yay !!

    • Oooh… root canal. 😳 Hope it went well and you’re recovering well, too. At least the translation could help you take your mind off it for a while.

      Thank you. ❤ I'm glad you're enjoying this. I teared up when he said that she and his dad were the closest to him, and he did not know what he would do if either were to leave him. (I tend to connect to the story and characters more more deeply when I'm translating, so waterworks are not abnormal. LOL)

  21. Thank you 😊

  22. her answer, even only one word. Okay. Means a world for JBL.

    Aiyaaa… i wonder, probably, he will buy the world for her, haha… But if i were in her shoes, ‘okay’ means : let me try but don’t put your expectation higher than before.

    Thanks as always Hoju ^^

    • A one-word answer. It took her half a day to arrive at it and means so much to Jian Bianlin.

      That’s exactly what she’s trying to say, that she is going to try out having a relationship with him. And that’s all Jian Bianlin wants, for her to give him a chance and not to write him off without letting him have one.

      You’re always welcome. I’m glad to see you back.

  23. Oh gosh, that song was great. (so is the story, and I’m so glad that both of them are starting to bend toward each other a bit instead of standing alone in their feelings)

    • Uh-huh, uh-huh. Love that song.

      Yup, things have started on the path to change. It’s still a little while yet, but the impasse is finally over.

  24. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 she agreed! Thank you so much Hoju 😘😘😘!!! Can’t wait for next Wed.

  25. Thank you for the new chapter!

    I feel bad for JB but if I was in teenager CJ’s shoes I would have dislike him, probably a lot more than CJ’s discomfort. He was just too forceful and the young him sent a lot of obsesive red alert in my opinion, lol!
    But he’s also nice and thoughtful to CJ so I hope this works out well. This time they both should be a lot mature and like Hoju said, they’ll communicate more so I’m feeling this couple.

    • You’re welcome!
      Teenage Chu Jian had ten years or so of solid friendship with Jian Bianlin. They were best buddies before all this romance stuff started interfering in their relationship. That’s why she could never dislike him because there is genuine care in there. I admit, though, that fight could seem to show an obsessive side of him back then.
      He is nice, he is thoughtful, and people do grow out of their teenage rashness. I’m sure over the years, he has kicked himself for that stupid move that he made. They will learn to be in a relationship and how to consider things from the other person’s perspective. ❤

  26. Hoju, thank you so much not only for your translation of this story but also for the song. Because of Half Moon Serenade i am now into Chinese music as well. I have listened to three versions of it so many times now. With each new chapter, you add joy to my heart and I’m sure to many others.

    • You’re so very welcome. ❤ I love how these little translations can bring a little something to you guys. It warms my heart.

      Do you have a favourite version of the song? Have you read through Really, Really Miss You? (Forgive me if you have and I've forgotten.) There's so much music in that one.

  27. Thank you for the chapter~

  28. Okay. And they’re off! Or on, as I were. So, he can get exploratory surgery – which is not a carefree thing in itself. He knows to show he can be vulnerable to her. She can appreciate this part, and possibly use this knowledge to explore and then put to rest The Fight, and possibly be a bit less apprehensive on the whole for it. And and and… I am old, and I still talk/think/write like an over-excited high schooler who just figured out that literature text that everyone else seems to think is worth saying they read. Sorry. Anyhow, this is good news.
    Thank you for the chapter.

  29. “Okay.” Yay! Yay! Yay! Thanks hoju ❤

  30. sweet cheezus! that song and its lyrics are too beautiful.
    i can imagine JB so emotional and immerse on its melody while singing…

  31. “Your eyes are so pretty, like a cow’s eyes.” I’ve always found cow’s eyes to be pretty, its misty, filled with hope and dreams.

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