Fangirling Chinese Novels

My Darling (我的曼达林) — Chapter 4.3


He is improving but… Oh, Jian Bianlin, you still have a lot to learn. Hahaha.

Chapter 4.3 — Each Second of Waiting (3)

Chu Jian dipped her hand into the pool, gently swirling the warm water inside, her eyes gazing out at the ocean beyond the glass wall. Although the ocean could be seen from here, it could not be considered a beautiful view because between it and the hotel, there was what seemed to be a still-incomplete construction site that was a jumble of mess and disarray.

Just like her heart, which was also feeling jumbled and in disarray.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

The guitar was set down beside the pool. Jian Bianlin patted the spot next to him.

It was neither a large nor small spot; there was just enough space for her to sit.

After pausing for several seconds, Chu Jian climbed over from the daybed sofa. That little platform area was against the glass wall, and only a few soft throw pillows were on it. As she tried to rest herself into the pillows, she was not paying attention and ended up leaning herself backwards at a very suggestively intimate angle. It seemed… she had leaned herself into his arms.

She had not expected this. Neither had Jian Bianlin.

He could feel that his arm, which was on top of the throw pillows, was brushing against the skin at the nape of her neck—soft, warm, and so real. Yes, that was it. Real.

He had actually clearly heard each word that Xie Bin had spoken earlier. For two days, more than forty hours, he had thrown himself into his work with intensity and focus, as if her arrival had not caused wild elation in him. Only he, himself, was most clear about the truth. Since that day when, sitting in the driver’s seat, he saw that one word on his phone’s screen, the sense of reality had left him.

But now, he had awakened again.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

Chu Jian…

Jian Bianlin’s fingers hung down slightly to rest on her shoulder. Through a layer of cotton material, he could feel that her body was tense and uneasy.

Her personality had not been like this before. When they were kids, she had beamed with smiles all day long, always cheerful, simple, and carefree. After breaking his entry for a model plane competition, she had still put on a miserable look that was deserving of pity. Holding up the broken mess in her hands, she had worn that I-know-you-won’t-take-this-to-heart-so-just-hurry-up-and-say-you-forgive-me expression to apologize to him. Later, things gradually changed, especially in their last year of high school. She had treaded more and more carefully and had not really liked laughing and joking around with schoolmates anymore. When school ended for the day, she would leave alone. It was the same during rest time in gym class; she would sit by herself in the bleachers, staring out blankly, unlike other girls who would gather in groups and chat… He knew that at that time, Chu Jian had been very severely excluded by their classmates, and so gradually, her temper and spiritedness had been worn away. She later went to Hainan, and he would secretly go there and watch her as she attended class. Still, she would sit on her own in the back row, without a single person around her.

That had all been his fault.

He wanted her to go back to being what she used to be like.

To go back to being that girl who would dare climb a tree two storeys high and then shout at him in panic, “Jian Bianlin, Jian Bianlin, oh no, oh no, I’m done for. I just ripped my stockings. Can you buy help me buy a new pair? I’m scared my mom is going to beat me…”

What did he need to do?

His throat felt very tight, as if obstructed by those emotions that were continuously roiling upwards.

“It’s really boring being an artiste, isn’t it?” He restrained his breathing.

“Yeah, your work schedule is so packed.” Her gaze flitted all about and landed outside the window on that ocean view that was not the least bit beautiful. Other than working, artistes could only stay in places where they would not be surrounded by curious onlookers—and, truth to tell, that really was boring.

He moved in closer to her. “I’m free tonight. I’ll go out with you.”

“You don’t need to keep me company. It’s not like this is my first time here…” Unlike his previous night’s scent of toiling and exhaustion intermingled with perspiration, she now could very distinctly smell his clean, fresh scent.

Could he? Right here? His fingers were on her hand that was resting on the blanket, and as he slid them down, their fingers interlaced. He could feel that her fingers were a little wet. It was from touching the pool water earlier on.

He saw her throat move up and down once, ever so slightly.

He wanted to kiss her.

In this still room, the past relentlessly assaulted his mind like a crashing wave. To this very day, he could still remember every little detail of that scene on the ferry when they were teenagers. His heart that had palpitated in his chest, the lightheadedness that had come over him, and even the buzz in his eardrums when his lips touched hers—he had not forgotten any of these things. That day, she had been wearing yarn gloves, ones that she had bought last minute from a street vendor outside the bus stop, and touching them gave a similar sensation to touching a plush toy…

And also, when he kissed her, how the two older women beside them had tutted quietly, or when he let go of her, how she had been so upset even the bottoms of her eyes had grown red…

Even the smell on the ferry of kerosene intermixed with dust was very vivid.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

In the space between his fingers, Chu Jian’s fingers curled in slightly.

This little action was infinitely magnified by the rational side of his mind and caused him to start abruptly back to his senses. His gaze cleared, and he noticed Chu Jian shrinking backwards as she nervously dug her fingers into the blanket beneath her.

He shifted his face away to the side. “I still have a shoot this afternoon. Go walk around nearby. Bring something to charge your battery. Don’t let your mobile phone die.”

Breathing softly, she made an almost imperceptible sound in response.

Jian Bianlin forced himself to leave, backing away, but his mind was a little unfocused, and he had forgotten that behind him was a heated pool. Just like that, one foot stepped into the water. Water splashed up—

“You want to soak in the hot pool?” The sudden splattering of water left Chu Jian stupefied, and she stared at his sodden pants.

“The water in this is too cold… I’m going to take a shower.”

Without a backwards glance, Jian Bianlin stepped out of the pool, grabbed a pair of long pants from the walk-in closet, and strode into the bathroom.

In the end, he still held unvented thoughts of wanting to be close to her. Midway through his shower, he began to feel abdominal pain, and Xie Bin also called. Forcing himself to bear through the pain, he dried himself off. When he answered the call, he immediately heard that evil, callous agent on the other end of the line smirk, “The hotel’s pretty nice, eh? I now understand why you specified that you wanted to stay in that one. A pool, and one that’s sized for two people. Tsk, tsk. What a shame you don’t do romance movies, Jian Bianlin, eh? I just got a script outline yesterday—”

Before Xie Bin could finish what he was saying, the call was hung up.

“You’re done your shower?” Chu Jian’s voice wafted in from somewhere outside the walk-in closet, the steam in the room filtering it so that it seemed to take on a suggestive air. He made a sound in response, not daring to say too much. As he leaned against the wall, he suddenly had a little thought that he wanted her to leave him. If the results from the surgery were not good, he basically had selfishly, forcibly tied her to him once more.

So, while Chu Jian still sat hugging her knees beside the pool, feeling embarrassed and deliberating between sneaking away while he still had not finished showering or continuing to wait here… Jian Bianlin’s body, which had just been toweled dry, broke out in another layer of sweat from gritting through the pain, and he had no choice but to go back in and have another shower.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

From afternoon to evening, Chu Jian strolled alone along the streets near the Ruins of St. Paul. She had bought some highly nutritious herbal foods and was planning on couriering them back to Hangzhou. While she was filling in the form, she received a message from him, saying that his work for the day had ended early. He asked her where she was. However, she was actually not really able to sort out north, south, east, and west, so she merely approximately described the relative positions of a few landmarks.

Standing outside of a pork jerky shop at the corner of the intersection, she surveyed the seven, eight different types of jerky and then picked up one sample piece to try. The taste was pretty good.

A hand landed on her shoulder from behind her. When Chu Jian turned and saw his face that was covered by a black, surgical-style mask and his bright, black eyes beneath the brim of his cap, a smile came over her own face. “Would you like to eat this? We can buy some and go back to the hotel to have it?” Under the warm glow of the light, her smile was especially pretty.

His first reaction was to reach for his wallet.

Amused, Chu Jian wagged her hand at him. From her own sling backpack, she pulled out some money and grinningly told him, “I brought money.”

And then she bought a whole bunch and stuffed it into his hands.

Now that the waiting was done and he was here, things were much easier. Chu Jian’s shopping trip of buying, buying, and more buying completely commenced.

The one shame was that, during the entire process, he could only stay outside the shops, waiting in relatively dimmer places for her. When Chu Jian at last completed her shopping mission and dashed out of a shop, she saw him standing at the mouth of a very narrow alley.

Jogging over, she very prudently chose a spot where the light was behind her to shroud herself. “How are we going to go back? Where’s your assistant?” Logically, he should have his own vehicle. It would seem that taking a taxi would not be very safe.

“Wait ten minutes. The car’s coming soon.”

Chu Jian gave an “oh, okay.”

Earlier, he had already noticed that she had worn sandals to come out, and her toes that peeked out had been a little red at the time. Looking again now, they seemed even redder. Once women began shopping, did they all not really bother concerning themselves with their own physical limitations? Thinking this, he shifted his gaze up slightly and landed it on those clean toenails that were not adorned with nail polish. And then, his eyes did not move away again.

To him, every part of her was beautiful—beautiful in a way that could not be described with words.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

Chu Jian, of course, did not know what Jian Bianlin was looking at.

She thus allowed her thoughts to wander and also experienced a dash of curiosity that she had never had in the past: If those fans of Jian Bianlin learned that, since he was a kid, he had always been like this—did not like to talk, did not say things to make people happy, was not romantic, was sometimes very stern and serious, and, anyway, was just vastly different from the image of him that was created onscreen—would they still adore him so much? …

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” Chu Jian asked softly, her voice endearingly gentle.

As she turned her eyes on a large billboard with a Western celebrity on it, she thought, this feeling of standing on the streets of an unfamiliar city while waiting for their vehicle was so very nice.

Not hearing a response from him, she looked at him puzzledly.

Jian Bianlin avoided her gaze, afraid that she would discover that he had been staring at her the whole time. Purposely putting on an unperturbed front as he watched the cars and people coming and going, he turned the question back on her, his tone detached. “What do you want me to say?”

She opened her mouth slightly, dumbstruck.

If she had not known, she would have thought that she was some little reporter who was trailing after him, trying to get an interview, but had been shot an utterly, totally icy, unwelcoming look by the big shot celebrity.

In this particular second, there was only one thought in Chu Jian’s mind:

Serves you right that you were never able to win my heart over before!

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

1 of 1 Prologue
14 of 36 Chapter segments
0 of 1 Epilogue


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46 thoughts on “My Darling (我的曼达林) — Chapter 4.3

  1. Oh boy. So hard to know when to speak or act and when not to!

  2. I know he doesn’t like to talk, but I kind of feel like he should say something about being afraid to act on all he’s feeling b/c he doesn’t want to scare her away, and that’s why sometimes he’s distant.

    • I agree. Obviously, being silent didn’t solve the problems before. However, I think the problem will lessen when/if Chu Jian starts learning about him and tries to understand him, too. Still, although the silence tends to draw the readers to him because it feels like he’s not being understood, it is most certainly a flaw.

  3. hahahah, serves you right jian bianlin

  4. LOL that was cute. At least it shows that she’s a bit more comfortable in the end~
    Thanks for another amazing translation!

  5. 😱 such a lovely chapter. Their relationship are slowly progressing. Yes, he indeed have a lot to learn about being in a relationship 🤣 thank you so much for another lovely read. 😘😘😘

  6. That last line made me laugh so hard! Well can’t deny that Jian Bianlin is so terribly awkward sometimes not like the other MBFB’s leading males. Yes, I’m looking at you Toupai! You’re guilty of making my heart flutter a lot of times because of your smoothness. But again they can slowly learn how things work by being together and isn’t it more fun that way. It would really be funny when they look back on this kind memories a few years down the road 😄😄

    As always, you made my saturday morning happy hoju! Thanks for starting my weekens right! 😆😆😆

    • Indeed, most of MBFB’s male leads have a high EQ so they at least aren’t at a loss as to what to do when it comes to the girl they love.


      It’s funny because in some ways, they know so much about one another, but they don’t know about each other in the context of a romantic relationship. Still, if they can get past that jump, the years of friendship and other knowledge they have can only be an amazing foundation…

      As always, thank you for reading and your lovely comment. 🙂

  7. That last thought! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  8. Aigoooo…. when will they have some lovey dovey thing? hugging or even better kissing, or… *cough*

    Well, just finished ‘Too Late To Say I Love You’ and definitely not my cup of tea (Wallace Chung was dearly handsome), so, while reading this, i imagine WC as JBL, lols. I know he’s kinda old, but his expression… aigoo… he’s the best. haha…

    I know JBL has a guilty feeling about what happened in the past. But his current behavior didnt help either. CJ took some initiatives to get closer to him, yet he seemed like trying hard to put everything on hold. And his current mood, oh boy… you are more sensitive than girls before their period, lols…

    Thank youuuuuu as always hoju. i skipped to comment in the previous chapter.Sorry ^^

    • LOL. Of course, Yui, you’re the first one to ask me that. Patience, my friend.

      Hmmm… I think WC is amazing, but I don’t picture him as Jian Bianlin at all.

      The thing he is worried about is his illness and the uncertainty around it, that he has tied Chu Jian to him, but what if he had something serious or terminal? (Repeat after me: Hoju only translates happy endings.) I do agree that the guy needs to start talking or communicating somehow!

      Gasp! Horror of horrors! I expect you to make up that comment to me. I expect you to be commenting every time. Hmph. 😡 😂😂

  9. So now he’s starting to win your heart, cute Chu Jian? xD

  10. It’s nice to see how deep his love is.😄😄
    Thank you for the translation…

  11. 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Thank you so much Hoju!!! 😘😘😘

  12. hehe so cute. Thanks hoju for weekend treat

  13. Hahaha oh boy so awkward 😆😆😆

  14. Hehehhe…CJ plays her role well as his girlfriend. JB..she’s the one you want…relax!! 😉

    • Exactly. Jian Bianlin, you need to chill. 😉
      Chu Jian is consciously working hard to be a good girlfriend. She’s keeping her promise, and I love this trait of hers.

  15. Thank you 😘

  16. The last part tho, I really find it really funny and kinda sweet. Idk why. Hahah

    • Sweet because we as readers know that he actually was staring adoringly at her toes and thinking every part of her is beautiful. Funny to me because, despite the sweet thoughts, the poor guy just doesn’t know how to woo a girl. LOL

  17. Pfft! Serve you right JB! Xie Bin’s maybe evil, but like Hoju said, JB needs a lot of push towards the better direction, tsk tsk~
    But really, JB should really get intensive care for his pain. Guys, if you have persisting pain, don’t overlook it, ok?
    Aaaah Chu Jian, I’m so sorry for your teenage years… JB is, too.

    Thank you for the new chapter!!

    • Jian Bianlin is so persistent but at the same time, he needs someone to bonk him on he head and tell him how girls work.

      Yes, Jian Bianlin, do you hear that? Go get it checked!

      Sigh. It was really hard for her. You’ll read more in the next update.

      You’re welcome!

  18. Ahh, sweet awkward question… LOL. CJ started to open up to him and care even more, which is so sweet.
    After reading 4 chapters in one go, i couldn’t help but reminded of another MBFB novel’s Healing Sunshine. The story line, and the quiet-attentive-loving but wordless male lead. But this one way lighter and more entertaining.

    Thanks for another wonderful translation, my dear…

    • Chu Jian is consciously choosing to open up to him. And that’s okay. Sometimes, you need to choose to love a person before it will happen (think Beautiful Bones).

      I get completely different feels between Little Uncle Ji and Jian Bianlin. Little Uncle Ji is eloquent if he needs to be and his watching over Xi Xi was taking care of her, helping remove the obstacles in her path, truly using his years of experience to help her in her young years. Jian Bianlin stays by Chu Jian’s side, but they are equals, and she’s been pushing him away so there is that longing and tension that goes along with that relationship. Both are wonderful male leads, of course, with their own wonderful traits and flaws. 🙂

      Thanks for reading. 🙂

      • Duh, Beautiful Bones… You evoke the sleeping longing in me of Xiao Nanchen Prince. It surges to surface now, gotta read again.

        MBFB does write well of the quiet-attentive-smart male leads in the novel i.e. HS, TF, BB, SNWTF, and now MD. These are all become my favorite readings, all thanks and credits goes to you my dear, who influenced me and made me fall in love with your fave novelist. And I even read HS on google translate (all chapters *gasps*) since I can’t put it down after reading the excerpt! ^^

  19. Their relationship is nice – very very sweet ^^ both still have a little to learn when it comes to relationships but it’s a nice, sweet progress so far. Thanks for the update!

    • Definitely, there’s more to learn and more to come out. But they are taking good steps in the right direction. 🙂

      You’re welcome!

  20. Thank you for your translation.

  21. Probably should have act in love romantic dramas as 2nd male lead to gain at least the cheesy experiences

    • But he doesn’t want to have any experience unless that experience comes from Chu jian. That’s why he’s been refusing any romantic dramas and movies.

  22. Awww he’s so awkward and BAD at this – it’s really endearing because it comes from such a pure and determined love, but at the same time it has to be pretty confusing for Chu Jian. I really liked the opening part of this chapter though, as it’s so true how some memories in your life remain extremely vivid – even down to the textures and scents around those moments.

    • I know. You cringe at some of the things he does but you can’t help loving him for the sincerity and purity of his feelings.

      I actually love how the author writes a lot of these flashbacks. Despite trying to avoid him all these years, you can see that their many years of relationship has left a deep mark on Chu Jian.

  23. Lol at the last line. Thanks hoju ❤

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