Fangirling Chinese Novels

My Darling (我的曼达林) — Chapter 7.3


The author’s screenwriter background really shines through in this update.

Jian Bianlin has always thought about Chu Jian and tried to support her in ways that she never even knew about. The one he has wanted has only ever been Chu Jian, so sometimes, that just means being unchivalrous. 🙂

Chapter 7.3 — Your Eyes that Stir Me (3)

Jian Bianlin was thinking that no, this wouldn’t do, that he needed to say a few more words to explain things a bit more clearly.

Chu Jian, though, had already run away from there…

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

Back in the van, Chu Jian really had nothing to do, so pulling out her nail clipper and file, she began trimming her nails—one sound of clip, another sound of clip. But no matter what she did, she still felt flustered.

She lowered her hands and threw a look at that main door. Then bowing her head, she continued trimming away.

Soon, Tong Fei, bringing Lin Shen along, arrived and stepped into this van that held only Chu Jian inside. Although Lin Shen’s character would not have any scenes until they were filming in the remote mountainous areas, given that this was such a big, important drama and he was still new and inexperienced, it was a necessity that he join the production team and cast beforehand. Tong Fei pulled out a can of cola from the refrigerator and tossed it to Lin Shen. “Check it out, and view it as your motivation. When you make it big, we can also have a van like this, O future Teacher Lin.”

Giving a reserved smile, Lin Shen lowered his head and, with a crack, opened the can. “In this drama, Teacher Jian and I are brothers that can go through life and death for each other. If there’s a chance, could we rehearse some scenes together ahead of time?” This young hunk who had not yet risen into popularity was quite professional and dedicated in his work.

“His schedule is extremely full. In between, he still needs to find time to shoot some ads and record some shows and programs, so rehearsing scenes ahead of time definitely will not work.” Tong Fei deliberated, “You go do a good job memorizing your lines, and do the things that you should be doing first. In particular, when it comes to your charater’s bio, you should go and carefully consult the screenwriter. Every time Jian Bianlin gets the bio for the main character, there are just a thousand or so words written on it, but he can fill in tens of thousands of words in between. Treat this character as if he really is you. From the little clues in the screenplay, pull out what this character’s growing and maturing process was like and what shaped him to be who he is. Gradually, this character and you will become one. Only if you can do this just like Teacher Jian will you not get nervous when rehearsing scenes with him. At the very least, you need to be as dedicated in your work as he is.”

Lin Shen listened earnestly to this long explanation and instruction. Chu Jian also tuned in to it. This was actually the first time Tong Fei had spoken about the things that went behind him as an actor.

“You should appreciate and treasure this opportunity to work with Teacher Jian. He’s an especially upright person, and the range of characters he plays is wide.” Once the praises started coming from Tong Fei, they would not stop. “I remember, the way he approached interviews before he became popular and the way he approaches them now are completely the same. In fact, now that he’s made it big, he’s even more levelheaded and cautious when it comes to his words and actions. With the type of person that Teacher Jian is, Lin Shen, you need to learn as much as you can from him. There are too many people whose heads get swollen after they become popular.”

Lin Shen smiled shyly. “I’ve been watching Teacher Jian’s past interviews lately, and I really particularly admire him.”

Their dialogue of “Teacher Jian” this and “Teacher Jian” that caused Chu Jian to feel terribly weird and awkward. “Can you two stop with the praises?”

“You’re still embarrassed? So what if we praise him? I even want to worship him! I, Tong Fei, have never tried to ride a man’s coattails in my entire life. Who would have thought that I would end up hanging on to your man’s coattails? He’s intentionally kickstarting Lin Shen’s career for him, and he’s doing that truly, purely to help us. I am not at all clueless to this fact, and in fact, I am very clear on it. It is totally because you are one of the shareholders of our production company.”

Chu Jian was taken aback for a moment. She previously had not thought about this to that level of detail and had simply assumed that Xie Bin truly did think highly of the resources in Tong Fei’s company. However, now that Tong Fei mentioned it, she realized that it was true. What resource could their production company possibly possess that Xie Bin could not do without?

Chu Jian mused upon this whole matter for a moment, and then, in a very delayed reaction, she was touched.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

Hugging Chu Jian around the neck, Tong Fei said in idle chitchat, “I ran over for a look just a little while ago. Jian Bianlin is really overturning previous perceptions of him. When you just read the script, you don’t really realize the extent of it, but once you see it live, you totally understand. An actor known for being detached and reserved has suddenly taken on the role of a manly man who is just bursting with male hormones… That’s going to have double the impact!”

It’s just… a love scene.

Chu Jian, who only a moment ago had been so touched that her heart had melted, started to feel downcast again.

Relishing in Chu Jian’s misfortunes, Tong Fei teased, “I read the original novel that the drama is based on. There sure are a lot of intimate scenes. Xie Bin’s company is going to be going public, so having a few big, explosive dramas is a must. This can also be considered as Jian Bianlin’s repayment to Xie Bin.”

Chu Jian did not speak.

“Jealous?” Seeing that there was something not quite right with Chu Jian’s little expressions, Tong Fei mocked her, “Don’t be jealous. I don’t dare let you have any misunderstandings about this. Xie Bin’s company is an investor in the drama, so he’s got a lot of say. All the love and sex scenes were cut out a long time ago. It’s purely an undercover agent versus undercover agent film. This one scene that they’re doing today only came about because the director was reading the original novel last night and wanted to film it, so they added it in last minute. I’m guessing the shoot’s not going to happen, though… When I went over there for a look just earlier, they still hadn’t started filming yet and were still there discussing with the director how to get it done…”

What a shame.

If Jian Bianlin really did show his face in an actual kiss and not one that relied on camera angles to create the illusion of kissing, without any doubt at all, just the online views for this drama would be crazy. Ratings higher than 2.0 would be a conservative estimate, and breaking past 3.0 would be something that was bound to happen[1]. Of course, Tong Fei did not hold any hopes that Jian Bianlin would actually film a real kissing scene. He basically was not even trying to take the hot, idol actor’s usual route and career path.

A lot of feelings—oh, so many feelings—filled Tong Fei. Countless words whirled many times through her mind, but when they finally circled back and came out, they were simplified into, “It’s really… such a waste of that face of his.”

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

Tong Fei insisted on dragging Chu Jian along for a look.

Quietly, Chu Jian stepped back into the filming site. Jian Bianlian right then was standing in front of the washing machine, one hand on the wall.

With his waist leaning against the wall and his back facing the cameras, in the shadows, he moved his fingers about as if warming them up. “Thank you. I know this is hard.” He nodded in apology to the other person.

Jian Bianlin shifted his gaze upward so that it landed on a spot somewhere behind the washing machine. In his mind, he began running through the scene that still needed to be filmed today as well as those lines.

Using posed positions and camera angles was genuinely even more tiring than actually acting it out. The actress was completely relying upon the bizarre, “passion-filled” posture that the assistant director, with little by little adjustments, had placed her into. Even the actress felt that this was just too funny. She truly had never filmed anything this way before.

This was not simply a matter of not accepting kissing scenes. Jian Bianlin was basically avoiding women like the plague.

“It’s understandable. Teacher Jian, you’re not someone who does idol dramas in the first place…”

Even climbing up onto the washing machine had been done by the actress herself with some aid from her assistant. To some extent, Jian Bianlin truly was an absolute conservative gentleman.

But if you looked at it from another angle, he was also so unchivalrous.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

Very good. Filming was starting.

Chu Jian looked on from afar but was only able to see Jian Bianlin, his back toward her, bending forward… Ugh. She was trying her best to get a clear view, but she could not see anything. The spot that they were in was too obscured from sight, and everything was completely obstructed by his tall figure…

And then, just one take—done.

Jian Bianlin had not noticed that Chu Jian had come back, and he began to have the crew clear the site. All unnecessary staff members were exiting in succession. When the crew members who were ushering people out reached the place where Chu Jian was, she hesitated. What type of scene was it that it would require the room to be cleared of people? … Right as she was about to cooperatively leave once again, Xie Bin looked up, and discovering Chu Jian, he grabbed ahold of her. “Eh? What are you running off for, Jian Bianlin’s wife?”

“… Aren’t you guys clearing people out of here?”

“Yes, but that’s outsiders that we’re clearing out. There are some shots that we can’t have outsiders seeing.” Xie Bin dropped his voice low. “But you’re not an outsider, right? If you don’t watch, it’ll just be a waste.”

“… I don’t want to watch.”

Chu Jian wanted to leave because she had already caught sight of Jian Bianlin starting to undo his shirt. The makeup artist was touching up his makeup, so naturally, Jian Bianlin could not see Chu Jian hiding away in the corner behind a light panel. He was still telling the makeup artist something in a quiet voice.

Xie Bin insisted on pulling Chu Jian back while, in passing, raising his voice and instructing, “Warm water, not cold. He’s still someone who’s ill.”

“Okay, Xie Zong, I’ll remember that.” The makeup artist took a little spray bottle of water from an assistant’s hand.

His back to Chu Jian, Jian Bianlin removed his shirt. Thump, thump. Chu Jian’s heart gave a leap. She glanced at the actress. Did that party need to take off her clothes, too? …

So hot and sensual—would it even be allowed to air? …

Definitely not. It definitely would not be allowed to air and would be cut from the final product. So if it was going to get cut, why even bother filming it? To waste resources?

Silent criticisms went through Chu Jian’s mind. Jian Bianlin’s sleekly contoured back faced her. And there was also his waist that followed those contours and curved perfectly inward. And the waistband of those pants that had purposely been tugged lower… The makeup artist sprayed some water onto his back, then used fingers to slowly bring the water together to look like beads of sweat trailing down. And there were also the ends of his hair…

Then, Jian Bianlin walked back over. Without even needing the actress there, he got into position, spread his legs, and leaned his body forward slightly. A few shots were taken like this. Next, he pressed his hips against the wall, and the cameras filmed another few shots.

All done… That was a wrap.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

Eh? Done already, just like that?

Xiao Yu brought a towel over and draped it over Jian Bianlin, then followed up with the down parka.

Jian Bianlin also took a small towel from him and wiped down his own hair. At last, he noticed Chu Jian by Xie Bin’s side, hiding behind the pack of people, and immediately he strode over to her. He was still contemplating over the explanation he had wanted to give to her earlier regarding Xie Bin’s company having an IPO and becoming publicly traded…

“Just like that? You’re finished filming?” Chu Jian was still a little uncertain.

“That should be about it.” He carefully recalled the details. A shot that looked like he was bending over and forcing a kiss, as well as a blurry view of his backside—yes, that was about it. “Shouldn’t need to re-shoot anything.”

Jian Bianlin had completely misunderstood her meaning, and hence, he continued to explain to her whether these few simple actions would be enough to create a vague, blurry scene of passion.

“So, why did they need to clear the room, then?”

Jian Bianlin pulled open his towel to reveal the scar left behind from his surgery. “This cannot be allowed to become a news story.”

Oh, so it was to cover up the reason behind his surgical scar.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

This was, after all, a filming location that lacked facilities for heating. Even warm water would cool off in a very short time. When they were back in the van, the stove was turned on to heat up some lemon ginger tea, which was then hurriedly handed over to help warm them up. After faces and hands had been washed, Xiao Yu also wanted to ask whether the tea needed a few more slices of lemon, but Xie Bin was already dragging him out of there.

The instant the van’s door was shut, everything inside became completely isolated from everything outside.

Jian Bianlin’s hands and feet were icy cold. He had truly exhausted himself earlier in the discussion with the director in order to arrive at a feasible plan. He needed to ensure that the director felt respected and not that he, Jian Bianlin, was simply throwing around the haughty, self-important airs of a big star. Yet, at the same time, Jian Bianlin also could not be disloyal to himself, to what he believed in and held to be important.

Chu Jian brushed her fingers back and forth over the handle of the teapot, producing sounds of patter, patter. After a little while, she stole a peek at him before quickly shifting her eyes away. A few seconds later, though, she turned her gaze back on him. “May I ask you a technical question?”


“Was your kissing scene just now created using just positioning and camera angles? …”

He swallowed a mouthful of that tea that was a little too hot, painfully scalding his tongue. Trying to hold back a laugh, he answered, “Yes, and not really.”

Chu Jian shot a quick glare at him. “Yes is yes, and no is no. There’s an ambiguous way to answer this?”

Setting down his small, clear teacup, Jian Bianlin spread his knees apart, shifted himself backward, and then pulled her in front of him so that she was leaning against him while sitting against the edge of his seat. “I’ll give you a demonstration.”


Jian Bianlin pulled open a drawer and fished out a pack of moist towelettes. After wiping his fingers clean, he balled up the towelette and tossed it into the wastebasket.

“Like this—” His pointer finger was placed against her lips.

And then, his lips followed after, snugging up close to hers. His finger between the two of them, they were now pressed against each other.

When they made contact, Chu Jian’s heart plummeted slightly. What was the difference between this and having nothing in between? …

“Impossible.” Unexpectedly, he gave a low laugh.

Jian Bianlin removed his finger. With no obstruction between them, he engulfed her lips in his.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

How was it even possible?

He had only ever wanted to kiss her. Since they were kids, it had only ever been her.

His hand moved to stroke her earlobe. The metal post that poked through at the back of her little stud earring scratched across the pads of his fingers, sometimes lightly, sometimes hard. He could feel that little tongue trying to very happily entangle itself with his… The faint taste of lemon ginger tea imbued their tongues and slid downward from the entrance of their throats. His insides and all the very depths of him felt empty and were crying out desperately for something to fill them.

His hand slid down to her back, caressing her firmly over and over again. He could feel that, right here, there was something remarkable wrapping her body, binding her in it. So, he allowed his hand to follow the edge of her soft sweater and explore its way inside.

There was still another layer.

Jian Bianlin: “What’s this?”

Chu Jian’s answer was a mumble. “… A spaghetti strap cami.”

Jian Bianlin: “Oh.”

The hem of the camisole was pulled out.

A person who was so parched he could not even speak had finally, after arduously crossing mountains and navigating rivers, found a life-saving water source. Who could possibly stop him from drawing near to it now? Jian Bianlin at last found what he had dreamed about for the longest time, but there were still some challenges preventing him from taking it into his hand…

His Adam’s apple unconsciously bobbed up and down in his throat…

God, it was killing him. This was way worse than getting warm water sprayed on your back while standing in a cold wind…

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

[1] Without going into the details of how these ratings work for Chinese dramas, just know that a 2.0 rating would mean that a drama is a smash hit. Many dramas do not even break 1.0.

© 2013-2016 FANATICAL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Translated with the express permission of the author for If you are not reading this from, then this translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.

1 of 1 Prologue
26 of 36 Chapter segments
0 of 1 Epilogue


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32 thoughts on “My Darling (我的曼达林) — Chapter 7.3

  1. 😱 This was not simply a matter of “does not accept kissing scenes.” Jian Bianlin was basically avoiding women like the plague. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    I actually had to re-read this post twice to really understand and get it 🤣

    Their relationship is moving on to the next step as Jian Bian is starting to lose this self-control now that Chu Jian is in his hand 🤣😉

    Thank you so much Hoju 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘 now…. faster Wednesday come come…. oh dear this Wednesday I will be in a conference so can only read late at night 😢

    • Well, to Jian Bianlin, it seems any woman who isn’t Chu Jian is the plague. LOL

      The poor guy has been parched for years. He’s trying hard to only take sips from the water, but you have to admit that the temptation is great. 😉

      I promise the story will be here for you to read when you’re ready. 🙂

  2. Thanks for the chapter. This one was so sweet

  3. Thank you for the chapter~
    I’m surprised the public doesn’t think he’s gay

  4. ya a 2.0 rating is sky high in C dramas. Thanks for today’s chapter hoju. happy weekend! i wanted my weekend to com n go quickly- cause im really hungry for new episodes for my drama on wed-thu, and wednesday means new post from u too.

    • Yup. There are so many that don’t even make it past 1.0.
      You’re welcome. 🙂
      Happy, happy! Your new episodes and chapter update are here!

  5. JB is so understanding… And talk as much as I want to I have my ACT in 2 hours and gotta run! Wish me luck Hoju! Lots of love byeeeee!

    • He has his faults but he has so many sweet traits, too. ❤

      Hope it went well! 🙂 Belated luck for that one and best of luck for everything else that comes up!

      • I think I did well. I dunno. “Well” is a relativistic term in my case. You know what I mean 😉 In my opinion, “Well” = 34 or 35 or 36 out of 36 Composite.
        Life of an 18 year old *sighs* Not as romantic as those teen movies make them out to be. Definitely no heart-throb jock in my school or at least, in a 10 mile radius around me 😛

  6. Ok jian bianlin, seems like you never can control your action when you kiss Chu Jian. I think he must be feel so desperate and ‘let’s get married’ word will probably pop out again. Make it legal and you can do what you want 😁😁😁

    Thank you hoju. I’m so happy

    • The guy has been dreaming about Chu Jian his entire life. He sooooo wants to make it legal.

      Aaaaw… I’m glad to hear that you’re happy! Thanks for reading. ❤

  7. Omg it was so hot in here😍 Thank you for the translations

  8. 😍😍😍. Thank you so much Hoju!! 😘😘😘

  9. Lols, he cant control it. Thanks for this chapter. I didnt feel annoyed by the traffic. But i want moreeee…haha

    JBL reminds me of Lay from EXO (kpop boyband), i read he refused to do ‘real’ kiss scenes. Heol. If i were an actress, i wont let the opportunity to kiss Eddie Peng or Marcus Chang lmao.

    Thanks for this chapter hoju😁

  10. Thank you for your translation.

  11. God. .. can’t wait for the next chapter 😉

  12. Sigh. Chu Jian is one lucky girl! I love Bian Lin’s dedication and patience, they’re such amazing traits.
    I swoon with every new update 🙂

    • She is. ❤ I'm so glad she's finally given it a chance.
      Those two traits are probably his most stand out traits. They caused him a lot of heartache in the first half of his life, but in the end, they are also the reason that he finally has the one whom his heart has always desired. ❤

      Keep swooning, keep swooning.

  13. I always marvel at how Jian Bianlin literally reserved himself only for Chu Jian. His love for her always shines in his every actions and I’m glad that Chu Jian is now reciprocating. Such a mature but cute couple. I still remember those awkward moments between them that always make me cringe during those first few chapters. I feel happy when they grow as a couple. Thanks For your efforts as always hoju!! 😘😘

    • He did. But I also think that he never consciously did it. He simply cannot accept anyone else aside from Chu Jian. He can’t even acting intimate with someone else. It’s almost instinctive.

      They have come quite a long ways, haven’t they?

      And thank you for reading!

  14. JBL, hang in there!

  15. LOL – Well I don’t really like the ‘fake’ kissing scenes in dramas, it always throws me out of the narrative because its so awkward 😛 Jian Bianlin has some steely resolve if he manages to just stop here…

  16. Frankly, the only kissing scenes that work for me (on film) are the sort where the lips meet, and time sort of stops, and the one where it’s basically a big smoochmess for comedic effect.
    JBL’s restraint is like a rope, and it’s snapping one thread at a time. It’s barely hanging together now.

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