Fanatical

Fangirling Chinese Novels

The Healing Sunshine (一厘米的阳光) — Chapter 10.2

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This pic was drawn specifically for the scene in this update. 🙂

The reason behind Jì Chengyang’s blindness. 😦 There is now something more important to Jǐ Yi than even Dad and Mom’s visit.

Chapter 10.2 — Life’s Hidden Billows (2)

This story was translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. All forms of reproduction, redistribution, or reposting are not authorized. If you are not reading this from hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com, the copy is unauthorized and has been taken without consent of the translator.

 

The tears would not cease. How could they possibly stop simply because of one sentence from him?

Every person may have experienced this type of weeping, where once it begins, it cannot be contained anymore, until in the end you practically choke on your own tears. Unable to stanch them, you sob continuously, as if you have suffered a great injustice, and no matter who tries to console you, the attempt is useless.

Jǐ Yi had experienced this once, in her childhood.

This was the second time.

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Jì Chengyang said a couple of sentences, attempting to soothe her. Hearing that she was sobbing the entire time, he felt inexplicably testy, but he stifled that feeling. “Be good. Don’t cry. It’ll be better once surgery is done.”

“Is it, is it a hundred percent guaranteed… to, to get better?” Her words were disjointed as a result of her sobbing.

She wanted to control her emotions, but it was wholly impossible.

Jì Chengyang was someone unaccustomed to lying. To put it more precisely, he had a certain degree of obsession with purity of morals, and he never lied. He grew quiet, all of sudden not speaking. Gazing at the half of his face that was below the white gauze, Jǐ Yi became even more panicked. “Tell me the truth, please? …”

“It’s a brain tumour that’s putting pressure on the optic nerve and causing temporary blindness. That’s why surgery needs to be arranged for as soon as possible.” Jì Chengyang decided still to tell the truth. “It should get better once the surgery is done.”

Never had she thought that an even scarier term would come up.

Could there be anything more frightening than this? Brain tumour. She felt that just the fact that these two words had appeared and were being used on him was already very cruel. How could it be a tumour? Why him? Why hadn’t there been any indications or warnings at all? …

“Is it… cancer?”

“Whether or not it is a malignant tumour is something that can only be confirmed after the surgery.”

 

Soon, Jì Chengyang called for the nurse. He instructed for someone to call a taxi for Jǐ Yi and have it drive to downstairs of this hospital building and then take her back. Jǐ Yi had used more than thirty minutes to get here, but after spending less than ten minutes in this room, she was being sent away. She did not want to leave but did not have an excuse not to, especially under this circumstance where Jì Chengyang was so insistent about it.

She was not his family and could not find any excuse to stay and keep him company.

“May I come again tomorrow to see you?” Jǐ Yi’s eyes were fixed on him.

Jì Chengyang loosened his hand’s hold.

She stood before him, fearful that he would shake his head or perhaps state the word “no.”

Fortunately, in the end, he nodded.

<>Copyright of Fanatical, hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com only.

As Jǐ Yi followed the nurse out the door, she saw Jì Chengyang pull out a cigarette from its case. He did not do as he usually did, though, and find his lighter, and instead, he merely played with it in one hand. That white cigarette twirled lightly between his two fingers. Half of his face was hidden behind the white gauze, concealing from sight his features and, even more so, his emotions.

Jǐ Yi did not dare disturb him anymore. When she was outside, she suddenly tugged on the nurse’s sleeve. “His tumour really isn’t cancerous?”

The nurse’s expression was quite serious. “We can only have a final confirmation of that after the surgery.”

There was a sense within her tone that they were not very optimistic about the outcome.

Jǐ Yi’s heart sank once more. Her eyes, which were already swollen from weeping, quickly became red again.

This time, though, she did not cry. Very, very rarely did she cry in front of strangers or outsiders. With reddened eyes, she went downstairs, where, unexpectedly, she ran into an auntie from the military compound. The auntie’s family member was also ill and staying in the hospital but was not on the same floor as Jì Chengyang. When this auntie saw Jǐ Yi, she was very puzzled and asked her why she had come to the 301 Military Hospital out of the blue. Her first reaction was that someone in Jǐ Yi’s family was sick.

Jǐ Yi all of a sudden remembered the words Second Aunt had once said to her, and hence she did not tell the truth, saying only that a classmate of hers was sick and she had come to visit.

It was actually the auntie who, in idle conversation with her, initiated the topic of the youngest son of the Jì family that lived upstairs of her. “What a pity it is for that child. He’s so young and he has a brain tumour. They say it’s very likely to be cancer. It’s the new lunar year soon and he still has to stay in the hospital.” She sighed.

It’s the new lunar year soon.

Jǐ Yi vaguely remembered, it seemed it was on the 24th? There were only a few more days until Lunar New Year’s.

On the way back, Jǐ Yi was staring out the taxi window when she saw a mother riding a bicycle with her daughter on it. Because the wind was too strong, the mother eventually had to hop off the bicycle and push it. Right as Jǐ Yi was about to pull her gaze back, a strong gust happened to blow the little girl’s scarf undone, and the little girl shouted and cried. The mother hastily stopped and wound the scarf securely around the girl’s neck.

The taxi drove past this mother and daughter.

Twisting her head, Jǐ Yi gazed back at that mother as, beneath the streetlamp, she carried on forging her way forward, pushing the bicycle against the wind.

She did not know what exactly she was looking at. She simply felt that she wanted to watch, that she especially wanted to watch these types of scenes that made people feel happy and blessed.

“Little girl, are you afraid of the cold?” the taxi driver asked from beside her. “May I open the window to have a smoke?”

She shook her head. “You go ahead and smoke. I’m fine.”

The instant the driver opened the window, a chilly air penetrated into the vehicle. She felt a little cold. She remembered his smile from many years ago in the Yading Scenic Area, as he, in front of the campfire, with the glow of the flames on his face, wished her happy birthday. And those eyes, those eyes that were more beautiful than even the stars in the night sky above the snow-capped mountains. At the time, they had held in them the campfire’s reflection and also her reflection…

<>Please read this at hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com instead

 

The next day, Jǐ Yi made a phone call to try to feel out what Nuannuan knew. She sensed that Nuannuan truly was not aware of this.

But the 301 Hospital that Jì Chengyang was staying in was the hospital that military personnel and their families usually went to. It was not possible that the Jì family did not know about this… Likely, they had purposely kept it from Nuannuan? They wanted to wait until the surgery was done and the condition of the illness was verified before they told her?

If it was cancer…

Unwilling to think further on this, Jǐ Yi packed up her schoolbag. She was going to go keep him company.

When she had changed into her shoes at the door, however, she remembered that her parents would be coming back today. They reportedly would not have time during the Lunar New Year period, so they were rushing back for a visit before the New Year. She set down her schoolbag. For the first time ever, she had, out of disquiet, forgotten to look forward to this. Sitting on the couch, she stared vacantly at the clock. As expected, her dad and mom arrived, one after the other, more than one hour later than the original time they had told her.

And as before, they bought her snacks, as well as two new outfits for the New Year.

“Why aren’t you going to try them on?” Second Aunt, who had also just arrived, did not forget to give a little laugh before urging Jǐ Yi, “They’re such pretty clothes.”

Jǐ Yi quickly went and changed into her new garments, letting everyone have a look. Then, she listened as they aloofly exchanged social niceties.

<>Copyright of Fanatical, hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com only.

Time ticked by, minute by minute, second by second.

From morning until noon… Holding the remote control, she continuously switched television channels, practically not even pausing as she cycled over and over through them, until she heard Mom say, “It’s about time for us to go.” At the same time that her mom stood up, she also jumped to her feet.

Everyone was somewhat startled at this.

Smiling, her parents told her, “We’ll come see you next time. The wind is too chilly outside. You don’t need to see us out.”

Jǐ Yi quickly answered that she was going over to a classmate’s house to ask a few questions on some practice problems. Then, grabbing her schoolbag, she dashed out of the home first. As she frantically sat into a taxi, the driver glanced at her in the rearview mirror. “Little girl, where are you going?”

“The 301 Hospital.” Jǐ Yi looked over at the side gate, her heart feeling guilty.

By chance, her dad’s car drove out from the side gate at that moment, and without so much as pausing, it drove away.

“It’s the Lunar New Year. Someone in your family is in the hospital?” the driver asked as he started the engine and began driving. “Why are you the only one going to visit?”

“My other family members have already gone first.” Jǐ Yi said a few words in vague answer.

When the taxi arrived at the hospital, a vehicle with military license plates[1] was leaving and driving towards her. Jǐ Yi’s heart abruptly gave a quiver, and she scanned her gaze over it. Luckily, it was not a license plate that she knew.

Nuannuan’s obliviousness to the situation made her feel that she should not know about it either. She was neither his family, nor his friend of the same age group. There was constantly a feeling in her that she had no legitimate status or reason to visit him.

But though she tried all she could to elude being seen, she still was unable to avoid running into people who had come to visit him.

Those several people were all soldiers formerly under Grandpa Jì’s command, so naturally they all recognized Jǐ Yi, who had spent much time running around in the Jì household since she was a child. When she pushed open the door, those people happened to be straightening from their seats on the couch and looked as if they were preparing to leave. Those several middle-aged men were all somewhat surprised to suddenly see Jǐ Yi, this little girl, while she, too, was taken aback for a moment.

“Isn’t this Elder Jǐ’s granddaughter?” The person amongst them who was most familiar with her spoke up. “Your name is… Xixi, right?”

Jǐ Yi gave an “mm-hmm” in answer, rather flusteredly nodding her head.

She was afraid they would ask something.

But they did not ask anything. They were thinking, the relationship between the two families was so close that paying a visit at the hospital or other things were very normal.

Only when the people had left and there was no one else in the room did Jǐ Yi at last slowly walk over to the side of the bed. Jì Chengyang heard her footsteps and said, “Xixi, I’m a little thirsty. Help me pour a glass of water.”

Without thinking, Jǐ Yi nodded, but then her mind abruptly registered that he was unable to see, so she added, “Okay.” She quickly set her schoolbag down on the couch and, picking up a glass, walked over to the water dispenser, where she poured half a glass of hot water and then also added some cool water into it.

Stepping up beside the bed, she placed the glass into his hand.

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Jì Chengyang took a couple of drinks. He did not know why, but just now when those people were here, he had not had the need to drink water. When Jǐ Yi arrived, though, he suddenly could feel that he truly was thirsty.

Was it his pride acting up? He was not willing to let outsiders help him by getting water for him?

He could not help scorning himself.

<>Copyright of Fanatical, hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com only.

Jǐ Yi watched until he had drunk his fill of water, and then she took the glass from him. “You’ve been sitting here the whole time. Do you ever really want to have a smoke?”

Jì Chengyang smiled, not answering her.

Setting down the glass, from her schoolbag, she pulled out a large bag of fruit-flavoured milk candies—square ones, her favourite. For this particular type of candy, the green ones were apple-flavoured and the yellow ones were orange-flavoured. She instinctively chose a green one, and then opening its wrapper, she held it up to his lips. “I brought candy for you. I heard people in my family mention when they were chitchatting that Third Uncle quit smoking by eating candy. Whenever he wanted to smoke, he would have one…”

She was worried he would be unable to find it to eat, so her fingers were directly against his lips.

Because he had just finished drinking warm water, his lips were very soft.

How could such a good person be sick?

Jǐ Yi could feel the warmth of his breath. Her heart ached dully, and her fingers suddenly had a slight tremble in them.

“Candy?” Jì Chengyang asked, his reaction evidently half a beat behind.

“Fruit-flavoured milk candies.”

Jì Chengyang could sense that her fingers had already begun to quiver. Finally, he opened his mouth and took the candy between his teeth. After the candy piece slid into his mouth, he reached over and briefly took Jǐ Yi’s hand in his own—very cold. It was the type of body temperature that was a result of just stepping in from the outside. “The weather forecast yesterday said that these next few days will be windy, with temperatures dropping.”

She went along with his topic, answering, “The wind is pretty strong. When I went back last night, I saw someone trying to ride a bike against the wind, but she wasn’t able to and could only walk and push it.”

In what seemed to be a nonchalant tone, he told her, “It’s almost the Lunar New Year, and the weather’s not good, either. Don’t be running around. Go home in just a bit.”

She froze blankly.

Once again, it was not even ten minutes that she had been in the room… and then she had to leave?

Could she not stay for a little while longer?

She wanted to ask this, but then remembered that the nurse had emphasized that they could not upset him.

After struggling within herself for some time, she still submissively gave an “mm.”

“I’ll finish eating one candy and then I’ll leave.” Sitting on the edge of the bed, she unwrapped a candy for herself that was the same flavour as his. “I’ll keep my promise.”

There were all different colours of fruit-flavoured milk candies. Their taste, though, was extremely simple. Whatever the colour was whatever the flavour.

Jǐ Yi fixed her gaze on the snow-laden tree branches outside the window, not daring to look at him. For some reason, seeing him caused her nose to tingle, and she would want to cry. She had been to the hospital once before, when she was a child, to visit an uncle who was sick. It seemed it was when she cried that time that her family members had chastised her that it was unlucky to do so.

Later, she understood: in the hospital, if you can hold back your tears, then try your best to hold them back.

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Towards the end, the taste became too sweet, and she picked up the glass he had used and took a sip of water from it. Then, thinking for a moment, she also held it up to him. “The candy seems to be too sweet. Want to drink some water?”

Jì Chengyang did not speak, but suddenly, he opened his palm.

A paper shirt, small as a button, lay in his palm. It had been folded from a candy wrapper.

How was that possible?

He could not see. How could he still fold such a small wrapper?

“When I was about six or seven, I’d be bored in between piano practicing, so I would often fold stuff like this to pass the time.” Jì Chengyang did not need to see her expression to guess what she was thinking. “I don’t need to look and I can still fold things.”

To be practiced to this extent… Just how bored had he been when he was a kid? …

Jì Chengyang set that paper shirt down on the table by his hand. “Happy New Year.”

This was his prompt to her to go.

Secretly picking up that cute little item, Jǐ Yi said as well, “Happy New Year.”

<>Copyright of Fanatical, hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com only.

[1] In China, there are special license plates for personnel of the military, the police service, and the armed police force.

This story was translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. All forms of reproduction, redistribution, or reposting are not authorized. If you are not reading this from hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com, the copy is unauthorized and has been taken without consent of the translator.

 

Completed:
23 of 69 Chapter segments
0 of 1 Epilogue

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18 thoughts on “The Healing Sunshine (一厘米的阳光) — Chapter 10.2

  1. only JCY can fold origami without seeing
    thank you

  2. They are just adorable! Lucky Jiyi👍🏻

  3. Oh no! But I’m guessing this illness and Ji Yi’s response is a key turning point in their relationship. I just wish she doesn’t have to hide her visits. Also I’m holding on to your promise that you only translate HE stories (that’s you right?!) so I’m not a mess. Thanks for the chapter!!

    • This bit and the next few chapters are all very important chapters, not just relationship-wise but, as I mentioned in my comments at the end of last post, also a mindset perspective.

      She doesn’t have to hide her visits. Everyone thinks there’s nothing wrong with her visiting this “uncle” as their families are so close. It is her guilt that she has “taboo” feelings that is causing her to unconsciously keep her visits a secret from everyone. Plus, she can’t let Nuannnuan know.

      Haha, yes, only HE stories. If I ever do post a sad ending one, you can bet I’ll give you all ample warning.

      You’re welcome!

      • Ahh that explains why the secretive nature of her visits. I hope the meddli mg aunt doesn’t butt in. Whew glad to confirm it’s a HE. Thanks for engaging with your readers!

  4. Thank you hoju ❤️❤️

  5. Glad JCY is allowing JY to visit him at hospital. Another item for JY to treasure.
    Cute chapter picture.
    Thank you for the chapter, Hoju 🙂.

    • I think avoiding her was partly because he didn’t want her to worry and partly because her emotions really affect him. But in the end, he doesn’t have the heart to say no to her. 😉
      Thanks for reading!

  6. Despite on what’s happening to JCY, I can still feel the warm they feel towards each other. This is a very touching chapter. thanks for the update💕

    • Of course they’re warm to each other. That’s what people who care for one another do: in the storms of life, even if you can’t be a harbour that completely shelters the other from the battering of rain, you can be a little flame that provides even a tiny bit of warmth to help him weather the storm. ❤
      Thanks for reading!

  7. Thank you for the update

  8. Although I’m a mother myself, I am so happy to see JY priority shifted. JCY now stayed on the top of her priority list. No longer her parents who didn’t care about her.

    Thanks, Hoju!

    • He’s been more the parental figure than her parents ever have been… and more. If her parents had ever valued her, then things would be different, but she was merely an inconvenience to them. 😦 He deserves that priority.

      You’re welcome!

  9. So talented…. JCY can fold origami using candy wrapper…. cute! Hopefully things will get better for them soon. Good to see how JY is putting JCY her top priority.

    Thank you so much Hoju. Am truly enjoying the read. Wished there are more time on hand to continue reading without stopping 🙂

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