Fanatical

Fangirling Chinese Novels

The Healing Sunshine (一厘米的阳光) — Chapter 16.2

12 Comments

Now that they’ve tried it, why stop at the first experience? 😉 There is a lovely peek into Jì Chengyang’s thoughts at the end of this update that tells us how he realized what he felt for Xixi, and just how important she is to him. ❤

Chapter 16.2 — Life’s Tender Dependence (2)

This story was translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. All forms of reproduction, redistribution, or reposting are not authorized. If you are not reading this from hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com, the copy is unauthorized and has been taken without consent of the translator.

 

She felt her entire body grow hot once more. She did not even know how her temperature had been taken, or how she had finished her breakfast and taken her medication.

When Jì Chengyang went to the kitchen to wash the dishes, she lay on her side with her head on the pillow that his head had lain on, her eyes closed. She could still vividly recall the sensation from earlier on when their lips and tongues had met. The medication he gave her had a sedating component to it. Her heart felt as if it was being seared, but she could not distinguish whether it was a result of retrospective bashfulness and embarrassment or because of her high fever that would not break. In this state, she slowly slipped into a deep slumber.

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That night, her fever subsided.

The following morning, she finally was granted Jì Chengyang’s permission to take a hot shower. Since last night, she had not been able to stand the odour on her body after the fever broke. There was a strong scent of sweat that truly was not pleasant to smell. After she had thoroughly cleansed and rinsed herself, she put on her clothing, a light pink tracksuit that she had temporarily stored in his wardrobe. Then, wearing her slippers, she walked to the other room.

Jì Chengyang was lying on the couch inside, resting with his eyes closed. He heard the sounds of her stepping into the room, but he was so drained he could not even be bothered to lift his eyelids. In a voice that required the least energy, a mild one that contained no rises and falls in intonation, he quietly told her that the breakfast that had already been prepared yesterday was in the kitchen and she could heat it up in the microwave before eating it.

“Even if you have no appetite, still eat some.” This was what he said.

<>Copyright of Fanatical, hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com only.

Jì Chengyang had already showered around three or four in the morning, during that time when he had been feeling exhausted. He wore a black, long-sleeved t-shirt from his university days, its sleeves rolled up slightly. He had set his left arm on the armrest of the couch and pillowed his head on that arm, but he seemed to feel that this position was not very comfortable and wanted to turn over to switch arms and continue sleeping for a little longer.

In the space of a breath, the warmth that was characteristic of a young girl, intermixed with the scent of the bodywash that he was most familiar with, could already be felt.

“Are you really tired?” Slowly crouching down beside the couch, Jǐ Yi quietly asked him this.

Jì Chengyang’s eyelashes fluttered, but still feeling very fatigued, he did not open his eyes.

Jǐ Yi’s lips were pursed together. She was smiling.

Not everyone could have this type of experience: During the height of a potentially fatal infectious disease, her symptoms coincidentally had been identical to those of the disease. The hopelessness in that moment had been engulfing. And then, what followed was similar to receiving a true, correct diagnosis report after being given an earlier incorrect diagnosis… Right now, she felt that everything she laid eyes on was beautiful. She even felt that being able to crouch here and simply watch him was the greatest blessing in the world.

“Yes.” He somewhat teasingly answered her, “You exhausted me.”

“… I shouldn’t be that much work and exhausting on people when I’m fevering, right?” Jǐ Yi felt a little guilty, but still she argued, “Apart from taking the medicine, all I did was sleep…”

Jì Chengyang was genuinely tired. His muscles were all sore and aching and had no strength.

The two nights and one day of psychological stress had been even more exhausting than when he had gone for three days and three nights without sleep in a war zone. At that time, what had pushed him through was his professionalism and drive to, at any time, follow the current political situation. However, this time, rather than saying that what carried him through was love, it would actually be more accurate to say that it was fear.

His fear had arisen from being scared that his life henceforth would change, and what it would change to was an unknown.

An unknown that left him feeling panicked.

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Fortunately, right now, in this moment, nothing had changed.

He was breathing lightly, as if he had already sunk into a deep sleep. As Jǐ Yi’s eyes took in his face, it felt like she could not gaze at him enough.

“Hurry and go have breakfast.” He finally could not help hurrying her on with a laugh. And then, he perceived that that sweet scent near the tip of his nose was drawing even closer. In that instant when he opened his eyes, he felt her lips press softly against the corner of his.

Jǐ Yi very quickly pulled away from him again, feeling as if she was about to have a heart attack. This little action that she had plotted for several minutes beforehand seemed actually to sap her of all the strength that she had only just recovered.

Jì Chengyang was rather still.

A dozen or so centimetres is a very dangerous distance. It is particularly dangerous when it is between two people who have just experienced a panic-inciting false alarm that, out of worry for the other person’s health and even life, has drained them mentally and physically.

He even felt that this feeling was not really a pleasant one.

Jǐ Yi summoned up all of her bravery and stared into his eyes.

This was the greatest courage that she could muster. She had thought that she would be able to say it: Jì Chengyang, I’ve liked you since I was little. And also, even though there are still actually quite a few more months before the end of the two years… Alas, she truly was unable to make herself utter even one word. Gnawing on her lower lip, she gazed somewhat hopefully and expectantly at him.

If this time she truly had had SARS, then by now, the two of them would have already been in the hospital, or perhaps they would have become one of the contributors to the continuously rising death toll.

Maybe it’s not necessary to be so adamant about carrying through on some things, she thought.

<>Copyright of Fanatical, hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com only.

Giving a faint sigh, Jì Chengyang pulled her over and into the circle of his arms.

This time, it was not because her unceasing tears were inciting him. His heart no longer felt that agitation and powerlessness from not wanting her to cry. For the first time, he could feel that the body of the girl in his embrace was soft and so very beautiful. This feeling was completely different from the time when she was little and he had carried her to the clinic to bandage her wound, or when he had held her in his arms and brought her away from that stretch of ocean in New Zealand’s night.

From the moment he pulled her up from the carpet and onto himself, Jì Chengyang became completely and utterly aware that what he felt for her was a man’s desire for a woman.

This was a long, unbroken progression of feelings, love, and a relationship that had brewed for many years and had used real, actual time to develop.

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His wish was fulfilled as he sealed her lips with his kiss, building on the feeling after last night’s first experience and continuing to explore and guide her to return his kiss. Jǐ Yi felt that every part of her was in his control. She tried offering the tip of her tongue over to him. This mere action of trying to be even closer, even more intimate with him allowed him to completely devour away all of her breath.

Different. It was completely different from last night.

Jǐ Yi was deeply captivated by his kiss, and out of instinct, she obliged his thoughts and actions, drawing closer to his body. Although there was much she did not know, she still wanted to give him all that he desired.

In this quiet room, these two people, who in their own worlds had each loved the other person for a long time, seemed to have fallen into a whirlpool that neither wanted to escape. Jì Chengyang exchanged deep kisses with her. He could sense her inexperience, intermingled with her shyness, and could also feel her slender legs and soft bosom pressed against his body.

“Xixi…” His hand slipped inside her clothing, continually stroking her back.

Jǐ Yi’s body only strove its best to keep up with and accommodate him.

“Xixi…” he called her.

Dazed and befuddled, she did not know at all whether she answered him.

He undid the clasp of her bra. A quiver went through her. She could feel his warm palm glide from her back, along her skin, to the front of her body. There was the faint scraping sound of a moving zipper. From inside her track jacket, he had pulled her zipper down, and he could see that her bra was already loosened, hanging there softly and half-concealing the roundness of her breasts. He was even able already to indistinctly make out the beautiful scenery within.

Jì Chengyang brought his forehead onto her soft bosom, listening to his own light exhale.

In his chest, there was a heavy pounding sensation.

Waiting to burst out from within his body at only a beckoning was the most primal of urges. To him, as someone who had taken care of Jǐ Yi and been by her side as she grew up, this hunger to be infinitely close to her and take her as his own was still difficult to express aloud and could not be carried further. But Jǐ Yi did not know about this. She was not even aware of the physiological changes that had taken place in Jì Chengyang’s body. She only felt that her body seemed somewhat as if it did not belong to herself, and a thin layer of sweat misted over her skin.

This thin sheen of perpiration that covered her caused all of him to sink even deeper into desire.

If this were to continue, it truly would become torment.

Restraining himself, Jì Chengyang drew the front of her track jacket together for her and then switched to cradling her face between both his palms. As if he wanted to suck away all the oxygen and awareness that was in her, he kissed her deeply. “Xixi… I love you.”

This was the first time Jǐ Yi truly heard her love being returned. This voice had more courage than her and was much more resolute than her as well. There was no self-questioning in it, nor would it contain apprehension about the future. Her head felt light, and her eyes seemed blurred. The heavens and earth seemed to be spinning. Her body felt emptied of strength as she lay against his chest and allowed him to enclose her tightly in his embrace.

Jì Chengyang soon sat up. He took one glance at her, then rose and went to the kitchen to make lunch for her. Jǐ Yi sat muddledheadly for some time, and then afterwards, she, too, began searching for her slippers, wanting to follow him into the kitchen. It was not until she was bending over that her mind cleared, and she became aware that the zipper of her track jacket had been pulled open and even her bra was merely hanging loosely on her arms…

Inside the kitchen, there was the sound of a porcelain bowl bumping against the stainless steel sink.

Amidst the rushing sound of flowing water, Jǐ Yi flusteredly reached her arms behind her back, fastened the clasp of her bra, and pulled up the zipper of her jacket.

She did not dare go into the kitchen where he was now. Fixing her eyes on the bed that she had slept in for two days, she stared vacantly for a while before hurriedly pulling off the bed sheet and quilt cover. On the bed, there were indications that declared she had slept there, and because she had been fevering, it had also been soaked with perspiration… Clasping that heap of dark blue cloth against herself, she went into the bathroom and stuffed the bundle into the washing machine. However, unable to find any laundry detergent, she had no choice but to shift ever so slowly, with little steps at a time, to the door of the kitchen, where she asked quietly, “Where’s the laundry detergent?”

Jì Chengyang was in the midst of washing all those pots and pans that had piled up over these last two days. In the end, he had even pulled out all the unused dishes in the cupboard so he could wash those as well. Holding a dishcloth, with his hands covered in bubbles, he looked at her in surprise for a moment. “Out on the balcony.” Soon, though, he cut himself off and corrected his words. “It should be all used up already.”

Because he had made a couple of casual swipes at the thin layer of sweat that had formed on him, his short hair looked slightly disheveled. The sink was filled with hot water to wash dishes, and the steam that rose from it highlighted his facial contours, making them appear even more handsome.

He gazed at her, seeming as if he was pondering over whether he had any spare detergent remaining.

“I’ll go buy some.” Jǐ Yi immediately lowered her eyes, bringing her gaze downwards to look at his legs as she said, “I’ll be back really fast.”

<>Copyright of Fanatical, hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com only.

After saying this, Jǐ Yi quickly left.

When Jì Chengyang heard the sound of the door thudding shut, there was a trace of a peculiar expression on his face. He finally remembered that there seemed to still be an unopened package of laundry detergent somewhere on the balcony. If he had had one extra minute, he likely would have thought of that and told her. Alas, Jǐ Yi’s bashfulness had started up again, and she had not been able to wait for him to remember this.

Jì Chengyang’s lips pursed together, and he gave a true self-mocking smile. The he of this moment was more like an enthusiastically energetic grown boy who was immersed in the beauty of being in love for the first time. There was not a moment where his gaze was not following after Jǐ Yi, and even when she was not by his side, it did not at all prevent his mind from being flooded, over and over again, with her.

He had never believed he would be like this.

To this, he could only say that, in the past, he had overestimated himself.

<>Please read this translation at its original site of posting, hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com, instead. Thank you.

A significant age difference is actually a great allurement.

Jì Chengyang, did your feelings for Jǐ Yi stem from this allurement?

In that period when there had only been darkness before his eyes, Jì Chengyang had used the calmest and most rational of manners to examine this question. Regarding the topic of love, most men are denounced for being cold-blooded, thinking with only the lower half of their bodies, and being unable to resist temptation, or for not putting love and relationship as their focus. It can be said that since society shifted from being matriarchal to patriarchal, these several thousand years of endless development have indeed led men, more than women, to place more importance on things outside of love and relationships.

These are all the objective truth of reality, but one cannot say that a man’s heart will not hold in it a woman whom he wants to selflessly love and protect.

When he was in university, Jì Chengyang had once objectively explored this question with his roommates. He had put forth this hypothetical situation: if the one you love loses her ability of sight, would you willingly give your eyes to her so that she can once again see the brilliance of the sun?

At the time, this had merely been a senseless hypothetical situation. But when many years had passed and he had returned to his home country, it was in a state of absolute blackness that he found the answer for his own love. When his eyes had been unable to see anything but he had heard Jǐ Yi by his side, crying and choking on sobs, what he had thought was, if he truly were to become blind, or perhaps even lose his life, then at the very least, it would be in exchange for his little lady to endure less of life’s trials and tribulations.

Once this thought passed through his mind, Jì Chengyang suddenly awakened to a realization: he had already answered that question that he had posed many years ago.

He was in the process of negotiating a stipulation with Heaven—he would give his eyes in exchange for Jǐ Yi to be able to grow up peacefully in the brightness and warmth of the sun.

<>Copyright of Fanatical, hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com only.

Although his original question been rather harsh and extreme, the true main point of that hypothetical situation was this:

When you have started to shift from being selfish to becoming selfless, you have already begun a true love that will undoubtedly become etched into your very bones and engraved into your heart.

Irrespective of whether he could figure out how this love had begun, from that day when she had been isolated and besieged with accusations from all sides and she had tucked herself into his embrace to seek a brief moment of solace, he had already determined that the feelings he had for Jǐ Yi… were love.

This story was translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. All forms of reproduction, redistribution, or reposting are not authorized. If you are not reading this from hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com, the copy is unauthorized and has been taken without consent of the translator.

 

Completed:
38 of 69 Chapter segments
0 of 1 Epilogue

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12 thoughts on “The Healing Sunshine (一厘米的阳光) — Chapter 16.2

  1. Omg ❤️😍😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️

  2. Finally… he said it, thanks Hoju for the update

  3. *throw confetti JCY confession day!!!
    thank you

  4. A significant age difference is actually a great allurement….
    Thank you Hoju😘

  5. I like JCY’s honesty with himself and confessed his love for JY.

  6. Wow , JCY’s true selfless love 😍.

    Thank you for the lovely chapter, Hoju 🙂.

  7. Ahh the beauty of being in love is beyond words indeed. While he was in the process of negotiating a stipulation with Heaven, I am in endless process of admiring the profound beauty of their love.
    Reading the past several chapters and this one opened my eyes of how hard you work to share this beautiful story to us. After reading various novels translated by you, I notice the different choices of word you use in this novel to reflect the nuance of each emotion and thought perfectly. In my pov, this novel is more challenging to translate since this one is more contemplative, full with profound pensiveness, yet warm and sweet at the same time. So many musing and meditative mind of the main characters, you take us to delve deep into their mind and heart. I learned, just like Japanese, Chinese word mostly difficult to translate to reflect the correct meaning/emotion. With MBFB beautiful writing and your perfect choices of words, you two bring the contemplative mind story telling style into a new level.

    That, my dear translator, is your strength. You present us with the beauty of CNovel’s writer’s characteristic in another language. Which is not an easy job to do. You’re not only hook me to love MBFB, but also intrigued me to search and read many Cnovels from other writers.

    For that, Hoju, I can’t thank you enough. I really applaud you for your dedication, kindness and hard work.
    Cheers to you, my dear~! *hugs*

    • So true, agree with u, indeed hoju , can’t express how thankful we are for ur hardwork and dedication, lots of happiness just in 1 chapter and each post

  8. what a sweet chapter❤️❤️❤️Thanks for the update! Great translation👍

  9. My favorite chapter. Thank you for your hard work!

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