Blazing Sunlight I (骄阳似我 上) – Chapter 11

April 16, 2015 by yingniang 17 Comments

Chapter Eleven

It was not until the day of the vivas that I bumped into my hostel mates. The moment Xiao Feng laid eyes on me, she pounced and shook my shoulders vigorously “I’m sorry Watermelon! My blunder caused you to be maligned. You must forgive me!”

As if she wanted to prove her sincerity, her hands that were gripping my shoulders were as forceful as eagle claws. I felt as though my shoulders were going to shatter …

“… Do you think I would forgive you if you maim me?”

“Haha I’m sorry! I was too overcome with emotions!” She smiled brightly as she withdrew her claws. “Watermelon, you can rest easy. These past few days, I’ve been filling everyone in on what truly happened.”

“Filling everyone in?”

“Everyone declared me a pig for forgetting such an important phone call.”

It was unbearable to be wrongly accused and condemned so I felt comforted on hearing what she did.

Boss and Ah Fen were also present so I smiled at them.

It’s not that I wasn’t bitter anymore but on careful thought, both Rong Rong and I were their hostel mates so I really should not have expected them to side me regardless especially since Rong Rong’s theory was airtight.

When one lowers his expectation of others, one will be happier.

My demeanour caused Boss and Ah Fen to relax and they crowded round to discuss the upcoming vivas. Apart from Si Jing and Rong Rong, the rest of us were in the same slot. We were scheduled to finish by evening.

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The number I drew was relatively high so I was amongst the last candidates of the day. When it was my turn, the lecture theatre was more or less emptied. Xiao Feng and the others had wanted to keep me company but I had chased them off. Having familiar faces in the audience might have made me more nervous. When I was about to greet the professors, I happened to note Zhuang Xu standing by the backdoor. His view was trained on me.

I stared stupefied.

He must have ambled into the wrong theatre because Rong Rong wasn’t there …

The thought flashed through my mind but I didn’t dare continue being distracted so I launched wholeheartedly into my presentation. During the question and answer segment, I subconsciously cast a glance at the backdoor. There was no one there.

It was rather late by the time I exited the theatre. Initially, I had intended to head straight to uncle’s place but as I neared the intersection, I recalled that I hadn’t collected my belongings from the hostel so I turned on my heels and headed there instead.

Only Si Jing was present. I greeted her neutrally before sorting out the items that were convenient to carry.

I had only been packing briefly when I realized that Si Jing was standing right behind me.

“Xi Guang, let me treat you to a meal today.”

“ … There isn’t a need to.”

“You can’t turn me down.”

“ … Then let’s wait for Xiao Feng and the others?”

“Just us two.”

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I assumed she wanted to seize the chance to offer some explanation or other. I certainly didn’t expect her to remain silent throughout the meal. When we had finished eating, she dragged me to the nearby minimart to buy a whole carton of beer before leading me to the park to feed the mosquitoes.

Was the saying ‘graduates act abnormally’ true then?

“You must think I’m a backstabber and that I like to gossip about people behind their backs.”

“… You think too much.”

She must have been drunk. I counted the empty cans around us – there were four and none of it was my contribution. What Si Jing said next confirmed my judgement.

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“You probably don’t know that you were a popular subject of discussion right from the beginning. You were obviously not from around these parts yet you didn’t live in the hostel initially. Some of our classmates mentioned seeing you alighting from a luxury car. We eventually heard from your secondary school classmates that you came from a powerful and renowned family.”

“There was also the domineering manner in which you wooed him.”

Domineering?

I never thought I would be labelled with that description.

To be honest, I was a coward. Because I had no courage, I had to make a bigger show of it, to give myself that added confidence boost. I knew if I chased him openly and failed, at least there would be no regrets.

“When Zhuang Xu’s mother fell ill, you were able to withdraw such an astronomical sum of money at such short notice.” Si Jing smiled bitterly. “Xi Guang, do you know, even I was intimidated by the fact that you could casually withdraw a sum of over ten thousand without first seeking your parent’s approval? It was the first time I noted the great disparity between people. Furthermore, the back was packed the day we went to withdraw that sum. The counter machine had spoilt and the queue snaked a long way. However, the moment you entered, the manager came over to welcome us personally. It was as if he could sense that you were of no ordinary status. All you had to do was tell him and we were ushered into the VIP room. We didn’t have to queue at all! I had never grasped the power of money so acutely before.”

I couldn’t recall those fine details. It must have been like she said. I had to explain “Didn’t Zhuang Xu need the cash urgently? It’s normal for the bank manager to ask what his clients need assistance with. Besides, the counter we approached was the VIP counter.”

“Yes, the VIP counter. You say it so nonchalantly. Don’t you see, there is no fairness in this world.”

I wanted to tell her that the kindhearted people in the world outnumbered the uncaring. Even if I didn’t have my VIP account that day, all I had to do was inform the queue of my plight and they would surely give way to me.

Why don’t people focus on the outcome instead of concerning themselves with the nitty-gritties?

I stared at the floor wordlessly before asking abruptly “Si Jing, do you also like Zhuang Xu?”

Although I had asked on the spur of the moment, I had been harbouring the suspicion for a long time. Her interest in the matters between Rong Rong, Zhuang Xu and I had already crossed the boundary of a normal observer so it was only natural that I came to this conclusion. I had assumed Si Jing would deflect the question, afterall she was a natural at Public Relations skills. To my utmost surprise, Si Jing readily admitted it.

“Yes, I do. A boy as handsome and talented as Zhuang Xu, who wouldn’t? Unfortunately, he comes from a poor family. His mother is ill and his brother is still very young. I have no choice but to consider these factors carefully. Why do you think Rong Rong has been stringing him along all this while? Is it really because of some silly feminist pride, that the guy has to confess? Humph. If Zhuang Xu’s familial burdens weren’t so heavy, she would have pounced a long time ago. Now she doesn’t want to string him along anymore but …”

My jaw dropped. I was dumbfounded as Si Jing carried on “Anyway, even if I hadn’t minded his background, there’s still Rong Rong blocking access to him. Aren’t you the best example? They were childhood sweethearts. Even if I had given my best, I wouldn’t necessarily have gained his heart. Then you came along. Even a blind person could tell you were interested in Zhuang Xu because you simply don’t know how to conceal your emotions. I had hoped you would succeed. Yet I was also afraid you would.”

So Si Jing could be this frank when drunk. Though it came as a shock, I had spurious thoughts of having fun. I was certain that when morning rolled around, Si Jing would regret the night’s events if she recalled it.

She seemed to have lost control of her emotions. I half comforted her and half mused “You’re much smarter than me. Indeed, what can overcome the bond of childhood sweethearts?”

She paused before bursting into smiles. She looked at me “Xi Guang, do you think he…”

“What?” I asked indifferently.

She studied me before leaping to her feet. She slung on her backpack “I won’t tell you.”

She then turned and left just like that. I could only stare speechless at her retreating figure.

Si Jing had always upheld an image of a likeable and considerate lady. When had she ever displayed such childishness? I smiled bitterly as I muttered to myself “What can you tell me?”

The next day, Si Jing called. She opened defensively with “Nie Xi Guang, I’ve forgotten everything I said yesterday.”

I paused before breaking into laughter “Oh, so have I.”

“Tonight I’m treating everyone to steamboat. You must come.”

“Oh okay.” I teased “Will we be drinking too?”

In response, Si Jing slammed the phone down.

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That night, I turned up as promised. Rong Rong and Zhuang Xu were in attendance as well. It wasn’t that I was impervious to emotions but with farewell upon us, I didn’t mind as much anymore.

In my memory, those last few days consisted of meals, cards, gatherings and karaoke. The day we were handed our graduation certificates, the class assembled for the final time. Everyone knew that it was time to say our goodbyes.

People started to leave that very night. After dinner, Ah Fen packed her four years worth of belongings and became the first to make the journey back to her hometown.

Initially I was truly not in the least bit affected. But when Ah Fen was about to board the bus at the school gate, I was suddenly assaulted by tears.

I didn’t expect to cry. I think no one did. But eventually all of us were sobbing and we simply couldn’t stop. Finally, we decided to accompany Ah Fen to the train station on impulse. We even bought platform tickets to send her all the way.

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After hugging and more hugging, the train eventually departed.

I stood at the platform and watched the train chug away. I felt as though I was bidding adieu to my youth.

My fleeting youth that passed in an instant.

Never to return again.

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No one was in the mood to speak so we walked out of the station in silence.

The bus-stop nearest the train station was always crowded. Originally, I had been standing with Ah Feng near the front. But after shifting my position to make allowance for people’s luggages, I was squeezed out. I had almost slipped because of the jostling, but fortunately, someone behind steadied me.

On seeing that the bus was so stuffed that I could not even plant my feet on it, I gave up trying and decided to ride the next one instead. When I checked the board for the next timing, I discovered unexpectedly that that was the last bus.

I couldn’t believe my eyes as I read the information over and over again. Then I heard someone beside me speak “Don’t bother. It’s the last bus.”

It was a familiar voice. I turned sharply to see Zhuang Xu’s handsome side profile.

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