I am Pickled Vegetable, You are Fish 我是酸菜，你是鱼 (Pilot Chapter)

May 6, 2013 by peanuts 29 Comments

I have been reading this novel called I am Pickled Vegetable, You are Fish. It is neither highly rated nor popular but I enjoy the humour in the book:) They crack me up, haha. From the title of the book, you can tell it is about food. Our female lead who is called Xie Ying Zi (meaning heroic) likes to eat, especially pickled vegetable fish which is a very famous Sichuan dish. This book is quite similar to Shan Shan where the staff vs the boss but not as cute or funny. However according to my standard it is still rather good. Ying Zi is smarter and spunkier than Shan Shan. Her interactions and battles with the male lead are rather entertaining and hilarious:)

I have translated the interesting parts of chapter one as an introduction. It will serve as a pilot chapter to see the readers reaction. So, please leave a comment as to what you think about it. If the response is good, I might translate this book after Shan Shan, probably at the end of the year. If I come across a better book between now and then, I’ll also do a pilot chapter. Thus this book might never get translated:P There is no Vietnamese translation so Lidge cannot help me:( Some of the humour might be lost in my translation eg when Ying Zi teases Zhu Meng, the book wrote ‘she is eating his tofu (beancurd)’ which is funny in Mandarin but it will not make sense in English if I do a literal translation. I’ve posted the synopsis and a comment in the book bar.

The Struggles of an Ordinary Office Worker

Spring in February, the cold wind is blowing hard,  making people hopping around. Xie Ying Zi, rubbing her hands, standing at the bus stop, waiting for the bus as well as cursing the weather in her heart. Her little Kia has been sent for repair again. A few days ago, it broke down while she is on her way to work, making her burst out in anger and kicking madly at the tire resulting in almost tearing her toe out. Such is the pain that she has to lean against the side of the car’s door, holding her foot, like a hen.

She, Xie Ying Zi is busy like a donkey daily, tired until wanting to scream but her vehicle actually dares to take a vacation. Is there any justice in the world? Xie Ying Zi stares at the office workers who are crowding the bus. Everyone has the afraid of being late anxious expression on their face. She looks at the sky and sighs, that she is going to be late again today.

She prays silently in her heart. God, please take into consideration I,  Xie Ying Zi frequently bully the hooligans and has compassion for the weaklings so do not let me be late. Today, the new boss is starting work, this bunch of pig brain is very sly, like to engage in “a new broom sweeps clean” trick. She, Xie Ying Zi is not afraid of the sky and is also not afraid of the earth but is afraid of her boss’s whip and fire. Small flame, she is also afraid ah.

Uh, having said that, she is even more afraid of her mother’s whip.

The late coming bus is crowded like canned sardines. The intrepid female Xie Ying Zi who is street smart, yet could do nothing to beat the crowd, can only bow her head and queue up to go up the bus. Although she prides herself as being frugal, will only spend money when necessary, this time, it’s not that she is concerned about money. All the taxis are full in the morning, she thinks that even if she is carrying two swords, those taxi drivers will not bat an eyelid.

Once, the feminine girl in her office called Ye Pei Pei who was painting her nails and at the same time said to her, “Ah, sister Ying Zi, it is a bit difficult for you.” Then she chuckled and laughed like that vixen in Journey to the West, “It is so easy for me to hail for a taxi even when I am only wearing a pair of casual jeans. A taxi driver even stopped to ask me if I need a lift, so troublesome.”

At that time, she wanted to grab her v-shaped collar and asked her loud, is your jeans short until exposing your thighs, you are not afraid of getting arthritis in winter. However since she has been a small white-collar worker for a few years, she knows it is not worthwhile to offend your office colleagues so she smiled and continued her work on hand.

The bus is slow like a snail with a cold. Xie Ying Zi is standing at the side of the window, at the left, at the right, at the back, from time to time someone is rubbing against her coat. Fortunately, it is winter when she is wearing more, if it is summer, it is estimated her fist will have no eye, hitting directly. She helplessly looks at her watch, then glances at the scenery outside the window.  In her heart, she laments that compared to the turtle speed of this bus, her Kia is like a luxury Mercedes-Benz.

She is missing her little Kia, my precious ar, mummy is going to bring you home soon.

People get on and off the bus, so gradually it becomes more spacious. The electronic female voice without any feelings announces another two more stops will be her destination. Suddenly the smell of garlic permeates the air and makes her feel nauseous. Feeling upset, she turns around to find the source of the odor which can even kill a mouse, then sees a short and bald man standing next to her. That ugly man is staring at Ying Zi, thinking that this beauty is interested in his old face. He smiles to reveal his yellow teeth, scaring Ying Zi to avert her gaze and stare at the scenery outside.

Early in the morning, let her see this kind of horror film, eventhough she is a female warrior also cannot stand, ah.

She is about to move further away from that garlic smelly ugly man, she hears a ‘pu’ sound, someone has farted. The sound is so loud resulting in other people in the bus trying to look around to find the perpetrator. Two girls are covering their mouths and laughing loudly. The inside of the bus smells like poison gas, and is spreading quickly. A few passengers are covering their nose.  A few passengers also open the windows, as they would rather endure the chilly wind, but do not want to be killed by the poison gas.

Ying Zi is going to faint anytime soon. She turns around to look at the garlic male, sees his expression is like a little embarrassed, the face is all red, her heart comes to a clear understanding. Starring fiercely at him, because of winter, you eat greasy food until indigestion, want to fart go find an empty spot, but come to this crowded place, you are a suicide bomber ah. The face is wretched, the digestive system also similarly vulgar.

She quickly walks to the front of the bus, she has finally arrived.

After getting off the bus, Xie Ying Zi dashes to Sun Bird Media Group building. Heaven still does not want to break her, so when the elevator door is about to close, she is able to use brute force to keep it open,  surprising the people in the elevator.

The First Meeting

So, Ying Zi becomes the silly lamb in The Shepherd Boy story, bursting into the lair of the big bad wolf. She opens the door and enters the office of the editor-in-chief.

In the bright and spacious office of the editor-in-chief, Ying Zi finds a tall man standing at the side of the bookcase, wearing a black casual winter clothes with a pair of jeans. When he turns his head, Ying Zi sees a very young man who apears to be about twenty five or twenty six years old. The skin is the rare white colour, soft skin, aquiline nose, dark and lively eyes, which still cannot hide his gentle temperament. They stare at each other for two seconds, then she comes to a conclusion, he is handsome, but is just a ‘pretty boy’ (小白脸 – xiao bai lian), a derogatory term.

Sometimes she is slow but sometimes her brain works like a Pentium processor. She heard that today, a boss and an intern will commence work, seems like this ‘pretty boy’ in front of her is the intern. An intern is truly new, does not know the rules, dares to explore the big boss’s office, wants to get fired before you start work.

Being the senior, she behaves like one and rushes to ‘pretty boy’ full of enthusiasm. She fails to take into account the unusual stares given by the ‘pretty boy’. She puts her hand on his shoulder, it will be a waste not to tease such a handsome man. She strikes up a conversation and says, “Young man, new here, in the future, sister will protect you. ..”

Pretty boy glances at her hairy hand, still staring blankly at Ying Zi, cannot see any emotion in his deep black eyes. Ying Zi thinks small intern is fooled dizzy by her passionate gesture, her teasing mood is getting high, enjoy looking at ‘pretty boy’ like admiring the flowers “Well, young man, you look quite tender, in the future sister will take you out to see see. Ai, looking so fair is vulnerable to bullying, a friendly reminder, be careful of the two female lechers out there nicknamed ‘flower thief’. Unlike your sister I specialize in caring for the young flower. ”

Then she pats the shoulder of pretty boy. “In the future, we are the servants of the same capitalist, through thick and thin, when your sister has a mouthful of soup, will definitely share half with you.”

“What’s your name?” Pretty boy asked with his deep and powerful voice.

“Oh, I ah, my name is Xie Ying Zi, what is your name?”

“Zhu Meng”

Ying Zi replies “Oh.” Pretty boy’s name actually doesn’t sound tasteful, pig sty door. Afraid of hurting the child’s self-esteem, she does not dare to tell the truth, then drags Zhu Meng out, “Lets go out or else we will be hanged” She makes the ‘hanging’ gesture with her hand around the neck, does not look at pretty boy’s facial expression, just pulls him out like a cow.

Outside has been buzzing with activity and sound so Ying Zi clutching Zhu Meng’s hand, takes him out. There, she sees a young and lanky guy with a face full of pimples, introducing himself to her colleagues, “Hello everyone, I am Zhou Ming, the new intern, nice meeting all of you.”

Ying Zi who is confused, looks at Zhou Ming, then turns around to look at ‘pretty boy’, This is the intern, then who is the one next to her?

Suddenly the bell in the brain starts to ring, holding on to pretty boy’s hand is akin to touching virus so she quickly releases it. Such an unlucky day, just because she didn’t read her horoscope today:(